This seems really odd and bizarre

[lawman79]

I have been NC with my uBPDexgf for 7 months.  There has been NC on either side.  As some may remember she was very angry, physically and emotionally abusive. In our last exchange she threatened to kidnap and kill my dog, which is a yellow lab.   

Yesterday, I saw her walking to the dog park by my house walking a yellow lab that looked very similar to mine (this one was a little bigger). She has another dog that is pretty old. I was like this is really strange and unnerving... .

I checked out her FB page (I know bad idea).  We aren't friends on FB.  Her cover photo is now her with this yellow lab. 

I don't get this behavior... .she hates me so she has to get a dog very similar to mine? If I had a bad break up with a girl, the last thing I would do is get a dog similar to hers... .who would want the reminder?  Knowing a little about BPD, I can't think it speaks well to her emotional state that she now gotten a second dog that is identical to mine.  She must be pretty empty, lonely and desperate.

[Mutt]

Hi lawman79,

I'm sorry to hear that she threatened to kidnap and kill your dog! That would be scary.

I can see how this would be confusing.

Do you think there's another possibility and that she has a fondness with yellow labs?

What I mean is that there may not be a BPD pathology here.

[lawman79]

Mutt,

Her other dog is an old chocolate lab.  So does like labs for sure,  but she has always had chocolate.  I think what strikes me as odd here (and please by all means tell this is silly if that's the case).  Her and I drove 14 hours to adopt my yellow lab. She even pushed me into getting a lab (not that big of deal because I always wanted a dog). After we got the dog she put pictures of it all over FB.  She told me that day if we ever broke, that she would happy to take the pup (that's how she got her other dog). 

During one of our breakups she put up a match.com profile where every picture was of her and my dog.  She even mention my dog by name and acted like it was hers (I thought it was very strange). Towards the end she even seemed to split he dog black... .said nasty things her about.  She was upset when I wouldn't give her the dog, said I was keeping the dog to punish.  At the end she threatened the dog and said she hopes she gets sick and dies.   

Just seems very odd... .my dog was a major focal point of year long relationship.  She loves my dog, wants to take my dog, wants to harm her.  Now 7 months later, she gets a second dog nearly identical to mine.  If I got out of a relationship that ended this badly, the last thing I would want to do is get an identical dog to my ex's.

Plus there is a dog park within walking distance to her house.  Why drive to the one closest to my house?  a place she knows I am at almost every weekend.

If I am just over thinking... .please someone set me straight.

[Mutt]

Hi lawman79,

Was she jealous of the dog?

[zundertowz]

I would be weirded out also but maybe this has nothing to do with you but the attachment she had to your dog.  I's probably not hard for her too separate you and the dog.

[rotiroti]

I agree with what zundertowz says -- I understand how it could be weird but can also see how she can separate the dog from you.




and on an unrelated note:


Labs are the best!

[lawman79]

She was pretty crazy about the dog.  During one of our breakups that lasted a month she even used the dog as an excuse to make contact saying she just wanted to see the dog. She definitely was a bit jealous of the dog.  when I would say you are a good girl and a pretty girl... .she would say how come you never talk to me like that? I would say because you're not a dog. 

If she truly could separate us, then why did she threatened to kill the dog in a very violent fashion? She seems to collect dogs from exbfs.

Mainly I just found this weird and upsetting.  I wish I could just laugh at it, but unfortunately I am not detached enough.  Honesty it's not my business what she does as long as she stays away from me. I really shouldn't care about this.

Maybe our whole relationships was just about my puppy dog... .it would explain a great deal... .

Labs are the best.  My lab is the only good thing that came out of our relationship.

[Mutt]

She definitely was a bit jealous of the dog.  when I would say you are a good girl and a pretty girl... .she would say how come you never talk to me like that? I would say because you're not a dog.

She was jealous of the love and attention that you gave to your dog.

That's why she threatened to kill your yellow lab. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

[lawman79]

I got that she was jealous and just trying to hurt me saying those things.  She lashed out at me about everything she could think of to hurt me.


I don't think anybody who wasn't ill would be jealous of a puppy dog.  So she was jealous of my dog and threatened harm her, and now she's a clone of her? Doesn't seem like something normal people would do. 

This is like the plot of Single White Female... .even done to the yellow lab. 

[once removed]

hey lawman79 

i think id feel similarly to you upon seeing this. i saw a lot of similar behavior after my breakup. in fact i was awestruck by how much my replacement looked like me and i wasnt alone in that. interesting given me and the previous two exes looked nothing alike.

but ultimately it was just that. interesting. i never got a 'why' and i dont know if there is one. ultimately, you dont need one.

hope this helps.

[lawman79]

Thanks to everyone who responded.  I am feeling quite a bit better today.  I think writing helps.  I guess these two temporary freak outs when are triggered are normal and par for the course.