I am ready to put this horror show behind me.

[Jackie313]

Greetings to all.  I'm Jack.  Never heard of BPD until my friend told me that my significant other had it!   I researched and oh yes !  We are in our 50s and have both been married.   The relationship was like a fairy tale until I wasn't getting divorced quickly enough and she left abruptly for online dating.   She taunted and continued contact even while online.  I refused to go back if she stayed in online dating.  Then months go by and she sees me having a coffee with my teen son and his mom to discuss some family issues .  She loses it.  Texts are nasty and blocked .  I have learned that she has slept around and possibly contracted herpes.  Last I knew she was seeing someone from the online dating site - I am ok actually and ready to put this horror show behind me.  But the thought of her lingers and I'd like to help others if I can.

[enlighten me]

Hi Jackie

Welcome to the family.

Im sure you've read a few posts. I would also hazard a guess that you like me were amazed at the similarities and how much you could have written yourself.

I look forward to seeing more from you on here,

EM

[Michelle27]

Welcome. :-)  When I stumbled onto BPD and learned that the behaviors I was seeing had some logic behind them as coping mechanisms, it was extremely freeing.  It still took years of doing my part to make changes and getting it straight in my head whether I could continue in a relationship that wasn't healthy for either one of us, and more important, my kids.  Ending it for good and working through the healing process took that freedom to another level.  There are so many stages to the process of healing and I'm looking forward to getting to the point of never being triggered by anything related to this man and his illness again.  I'm close, but not quite where I want to be yet.  This site, combined with introspection and work with a therapist has been instrumental to this process and I am grateful. 

[Chrisbazsky77]

  Jack

Welcome

This site is a God-send and we all help each other along.

Could you share your story in more detail?

[Pretty Woman]

Hi Jackie,

  Welcome to the family!



Herpes, eh? While that certainly is not a death sentence (I know many good people who have contracted this... .mostly from unscrupulous partners) that would definitely make me re-evaluate staying in a relationship this rocky and unstable.

My ex left me and was chatting on Match with a woman with herpes. I always wondered if they had sex. Luckily by this point my relationship was sexless from my lack of trust in her. I never gave much thought to lesbians and sexually transmitted diseases.

I do now.

Out of curiosity, how long did your "honeymoon" phase last? Mine was 3mo before the shyt storm started.

Again, welcome! Looking forward to hearing more of your story!

Pretty Woman (PW)

[Jackie313]

Hey Pretty Woman:

Well I hopped on today because in spite of NC for nearly 4 months I continue to think of her.  But I'm not disabling sad - just kind of numb.  The honeymoon as you called it was lengthy but a roller coaster ride.  She exhibited BPD traits from the start but I didn't know what it was until a friend enlightened me and I did the research.   Petty jealousy and hot and cold were the norm.  And as many here have stated - when she was good she came straight out of Heaven above, but when she was bad there was nothing worse.  SO I've chosen to concentrate on my work (I'm a college professor) and my wonderful 13 yr old son who I spend lots of time with.  I even spend time with the wife from whom I've been seperated for several years.  Just taking it day by day - and almost expecting contact - although she could never tell me about her herpes - it would kill her to admit she was so irresponsible and slutty.  That may be keeping her away!  So it goes.

[Palladio]

There is a certain amount of consolation in hearing the stories

of what others have endured from their significant others.

I've tried four times over the past 28 years to have a relationship

with another man , who I've loved dearly. He's broken up with me

each time. The first time , I was simply broken as I didn't under-

stand what I had done that was so horrible to have caused it to

happen. The last breakup was in May of this year. I'm just now

finding out about BPD, which he seems to be a classic text book

example of. What an answered prayer to finally be able to know

the reason for all the unexplainable behavior and erratic actions.

This site is a life saver for me.