Hey I have a story to share and I would like to hear your opinion. Well I met a girl at work (Dutch nationality) in june 2012 very lovely nice looking and we had alltime good conversations (I was at this time with other girl from Poland I am also Polish). It was only friends relationship she was about 10 years with her boyfriend they got bought house togheter had lot of animals and lot of things they did toghether etc. From the begin I thought she is very hot and nice but not available (normal thinking she had her perfect life). We were working togheter we spended time on breaks and from time to time we were meeting to have drink togheter me , her , her boyfriend and our mutual friends just to enjoy free time and conversations. Alltime we had good contact with each other lot of common topics and lot of laugh between us. In 2013 I split with my former girlfriend she wanted to live in Motherland I wanted to stay so we went out from each other in March 2013. I told her about it also annouced it to other people because I am just honest and yeah things like this happens in life. Few weeks later I hear from her that she is also no longer with her boyfriend(actualy she told him that 3 months later) , I was suprised with that because they did a lot togheter building a house and being for so long time. Even so from this moment we were getting closer to each other and I could felt chemistry between us or desire , we were both after r/s and we are just humans... .we went out couple of times togheter , she was coming to my place and things startet to get hot between us. It was also the time that we talked a lot of more likely she talked a lot and I was listening , I was courious why she wants to spend so much time with me. I heard a lot over her ex boyfriend how bad he was with money with household with taking care of himself etc. On the other side I was so perfect for her she was so happy I came to this country (I felt also great in this moment I met someone who loves me as whole even I am not such a perfect guy like everybody). Here I got someone to love and be loved by someone ideal everything was perfect we started to share more time with each other , I didn't recognize so called "red flags" I read lot about. Example we were talking at work and her ex called her she was throwing with her telephone getting angry really angry I could recognize her. I thought he is obssesive with her and she always had a nice explenation that he is crazy not her. After 2 months of intense contact (honeymoon) we decided to be togheter official (she didn't want it now I know why she lied she is not more with her boyfriend) but it went on. I always thought over her as a victim from what she said over her ex and the way they met (She was 14 and he was 20 when they met , and where togheter 10 years) I heard a lot of her going back to this r/s wanting to fix it. Her father also died when she was 14 and she still feels lot of pain... .Her sentences over me were amazing I felt never this way meting someone who needs you and love you for who you are. She moved on to my place after 3 months of intense contact leaving all this behind and she left after one week. I was always and to this moment amazed that she wanted me intead of all things she done earlier in her life. I was thinking why she is now gone while she wanted me so much 2-3 days NC from her and she was back saying that I am the one but she is a victim of her former r/s. We went on togheter further I met her mother she went with me to Poland met my Family. Great month togheter and suddenly she's moving out , after two days comes to me (tottaly on drugs) saying we don't match to each other etc. I was in emotional maze , What the heck ? So nice girl so nice words and now this how it possible to change like this , I wanted her so much that time (before december 2013) I was chasing after her wanted to talk. She annouced that she is thinking to go back to her former r/s and she don't know why I am like this why I want her (I think I was really attached to her). Few days of NC from her then we speak via MSG she says she is sorry for what she did to my heart that she must leave place we worked toghether for our best etc. I said that time "you must know what you want" and we met appointment to say goodbye to each other. The next day she came to my place earlier then we spoke about and the place was not my house. Crying that she will never forget me and how good I am but she must leave... .Couple days later she feels beter and to go to x-mas to me to Poland. I accepted her I wanted her so much that time dreams I build with her so we went togheter. On 23 december she told me she forgot what for day it is it was so wonderful (day her father died). The feeling from all endorfins delicious you get with her words. 2014 She splits me in february the same thing do not match each other etc. We recycle almost same way... .rest of the year goes smoothly. We had nice vacantions I payed all the bills she get stability can easly thing to sell her old house. We got lot of superior moments togheter not only in bed like through whole r/s. Of course we argued also much in way when I didn't accepted something or criticise her she would leave my house imiddietly for couple hours of silent treatment for me , so I can change little bit and do more for her as I see it now. So we live togheter I am feeling great one time and other time I don't know what is going on. Her birthday 2014 (November) she rages so baddly in the morning on my leaving so much shame and guilt on me that makes me feel badly... .things goes up and down till 2015 april. On this moment I am begining to feel badly over myself I am getting financial problems and my girlfriend annouce that she don't have to change for me... .I get it I am the giving one and you are using me , the r/s begins to erode. I am trying to get out but her sweetly words that she want to be with me forever brings me back to r/s. In June 2015 I tell her we need to give ourselfs time but don't end the contact (my brain knewed it's toxic but I still loved her) I also say I go to my country ALONE need to be 4 days somewhere else to thing over. We split from each other on 14 June but we met daily speaking with each other sending romantic messages like the whole time of r/s , next week it's my birthday a nice day for us both. 26 of June I am going back we met before we hug we kiss , I tell her next month we should go togheter get some rest togheter she accept it. I am back on 1 July I go on first place to her and what I hear from her is "that she doesn't love me no more" from this day all my contact is ignored or I get answers that makes you feel bad over yourself. I am emotionaly in pain and via social media I see her happy (image) she moves on very quickly , I am trying to talk with her but she doesn't make sense. Now she want to do other things then she was with me (you got the feeling you don't recognize this person). So after 2 weeks of ignoring and hearing only painful things I go NC (I don't love you no more is not a closure after all I did). I got a new telephone number bloked her on FB I want to feel beter after this emotional rollercoaster. She wanted to contact me (she couldn't) when I went home from work she waited for me from the side of the road. She went after me , wanted to talked. I accepted it we spoke little over us she changed topics often. I told her that we are both responsible for this r/s not only me , she said she know she is mentaly ill and things change fast with her (what for closure is this). At this moment I am finacialy broken , emotionaly even worse , my mental health is also affected , 2 years of really crazy ride that I loved (like addiction). I decide to step aside from this cyrcle of autodestruction. It is three months later I am getting better on all front I feel like am detaching emotionaly , I go back to things I did before she was my whole life and when I look forward I am smiling
This was the story , I needed to share this with world and read opinions , now few questions.
-possbility that she was BPD in %? (she got every traits I see it so)
-why do I atrract people like her if she is BPD? (My father was an alkoholic and violence was often use home in my childhood)
-so many splittings through the whole r/s , am I black forever and ever?
-what I hear she is great right now is that fake image?
