I have such an urge to warn him

[seang]

Well if I ever had any doubts about the characteristics of a pwBPD, and their subsequent actions, and start to question whether she actually was or not, I think I’ve just had confirmation.  I think my ex is starting to groom her next victim, and only 3 months out of our r/s.  I say that because she’s interacting with him more than anyone else and the posts and replies are very similar to those which I received in the early days.  When I saw it, I almost didn’t believe it.

To add to the craziness of it all, this guy is 8 years her senior, and tbh, not someone I would have thought her attracted to.  Maybe she’s just getting some validation, who knows.  To top it off, this poor guy seems to have been through the ringer with his last gf, and from what I can gather, she was a narcissist.  He even spent time in prison for harassment, of which I’m guessing was a lot down to her.  You couldn’t make this up!  

I feel like reaching out to him, the poor guy, as it seems my ex might be pulling him in.  It’s scary to see someone that went through so much with his ex that he is oblivious to the fact my ex has some serious issues.  Mad how they seem normal until you let them in.  I have such an urge to warn him at least, but that would just look like me coming across as the nutty ex and bitter.  I truly feel for him if this progresses.

Amazing how they do actually seek out, or attract these kinds of decent people.

Oh well.  Just thought I’d post.

[MakingMyWay]

Definitely feel the same way seang. Part of you really wants to explain to them what they are getting themselves into. I actually did this to my uBPD ex's new bf after I saw her pretty much reliving our relationship through this new guy but at a way faster rate. He's very similar to me in the sense that I 'saved' her from a toxic relationship and that made us closer. I guess this guy thinks that he is saving my ex from me. He is definitely not her type either and its pretty clear that they have rushed into the relationship full speed, since she was with him days after breaking up with me.

When I contacted this guy to warn him I definitely came across as a crazy ex, so I wish I had handled it differently. It just reinforces why they paint you black and helps them to prove that to their new partner. They're obviously infatuated with each other at this point and the pwBPD has probably put on a pretty convincing mask to draw him in. It is hard to see someone else potentially suffer, but in the end nothing we say can convince them, they have to find out by themselves.

Its unfortunate that pwBPD attract these people who genuinely care about them and want to save them from whatever situation they're in.

[AsGoodAsItGets]

He will be ok.  Most likely he has a lot of growing and needs this or is a narcissist himself, in which case it will be what it is.

[Michelle27]

I feel the need to warn my ex's next victim.  She has posted things about how wonderful the new man is in her life, the roses he sent her and how madly in love they are.  I also know how badly that would come across because I know how he portrayed his ex when we met and I now know the truth from her directly. My biggest worry for the new woman is that it appears she has a daughter around the same age as my daughter from my first marriage was when we met.  He started off being everything to her, and then it went downhill and she became his target.  I'm more worried for her than I am for the woman.  And while it's tempting, I know that contacting the woman is just going to make me look bad and with a divorce case pending, it's better I stay out of it and continue no contact.