this just keeps getting weirder I want out...

[problemsolver]

Continuation of my last thread basically got called into the station out of the blue after not seeing or contacting my BPDex in 7 weeks. So as my thread went I had to go into the station and fill in the gaps he said I did ... And we should have this closed soon. His tune changed today saying "we are getting back up at the office etc etc"... I can't have this on my mental for 2 3 4 weeks but listen to what happened post police station... I head over to my friends houses to start spreading the news of what's happening... She already has a story out there that I was sitting outside her house in the rain and she had to get a police escort... So there is a massive untrue smear campaign in my town and there isn't anything I can do about it... .But wait it gets better.

So I just found out she has a replacement; same height , skin tone, hair style, beard style etc etc he can be my brother but I don't care about that as odd as that is... So I end up actually talking to this guy yesterday. He became good friends with one of my friends... .So conformation of replacement like I said I really don't care... But we get to talking "he's like she's crazy dada" I'm like hmm you don't say? Lol... I ask so how long have you guys been talking "a month" fair enough...   I ask what did she say about me? How did she view me? He said "she said she wanted a relationship and I broke her heart because I'm a player" Well she just filed a police report saying we were nothing at all... But a shoulder to cry on? So he texts BPDex "how many guys have you slept with" she texts back " my old boyfriend. And problem solver... ." she JUST filed a f**** police report saying we were not romantic at all ! ... She later goes on to tell *replacement* ... "PS is a pathological liar don't believe anything he says he's crazy and everyone knows it. He's fu**** psychotic... If PS says anything bad its because he wants me back" I'm sitting here reading the msgs "beside myself" like I can't believe what I was reading. She just kept bashing me and bashing me "you're gonna listen to some lame ass blah blah blah" ... .She later called me from private saying don't talk yo replacement blah blah... I just said leave mr alone and hung up...

I can't do this anymore I was out healing and then got dragged in out of the blue... .I can't deal with this for 3 4 5 weeks waking up every day thinking about it like I just want out of the circus I can't event believe what's transpired. I'm starting to feel crazy , and moronic that I have to go around person to person defending myself as everyone believes that I am "in trouble with the cops"

[AsGoodAsItGets]

Please hang in thier, keep posting.  Coming back, venting.  This to will pass.

[problemsolver]

Please hang in thier, keep posting.  Coming back, venting.  This to will pass.

I really just don't know what to believe anymore... She is textbook BPD that gaslighting was intense to read... I really just want my name cleared I don't want to fall into depression over this.

[AwakenedOne]

Hi PS,

If I may offer the following advice to you:

1. Don't contact her.

2. Don't answer her calls or reply to any text msgs.

3. Don't talk to her boyfriend.

4. Don't ever be near her.

5. Don't talk to anyone about her. (Except for bpdfamily)

[problemsolver]

Hi PS,

If I may offer the following advice to you:

1. Don't contact her.

2. Don't answer her calls or reply to any text msgs.

3. Don't talk to her boyfriend.

4. Don't ever be near her.

5. Don't talk to anyone about her. (Except for bpdfamily)

Alright thanks , well it seems she's won in a sense? Although there is many holes in her story , she came clean about a relationship. . But stated we only dated for 2-3 weeks again the officer kind of thought it was BS... but I dunno they have let it pass and they allowed her to go ahead and attend court to get a PO ... not sure if it will be granted but at the end of the day she's already slandered my name quite well... and won't really face any repructions... at least not financially.

[cloudten]

You might end up paying for the PO (court costs).  My BPDx had to pay everything when I got my PFA. I have no idea how much it costs.

It definitely sounds like you are in a pickle. You need to cut all ties, everywhere. Seriously... .don't even play words with friends with this crazy.  Go the long way home from work- move if you need to. Most importantly, cooperate with police. You should report her call to the police so there is a record of it.

She is nuts. You just have to remember that she is off her rocker.

I know it hurts to be slandered in your town. I know it hurts to hear all of the untrue things. But I honestly think, as much as it hurts, if you completely ignore the whole thing- it will go away. Your friends who are your true friends will come through for you and know the truth about who you are.

you are powerless over what she says about you- but you are not powerless over how people perceive you. I would definitely let police know about the phone call. Be proactive in protecting yourself.

[problemsolver]

You might end up paying for the PO (court costs).  My BPDx had to pay everything when I got my PFA. I have no idea how much it costs.

It definitely sounds like you are in a pickle. You need to cut all ties, everywhere. Seriously... .don't even play words with friends with this crazy.  Go the long way home from work- move if you need to. Most importantly, cooperate with police. You should report her call to the police so there is a record of it.

She is nuts. You just have to remember that she is off her rocker.

I know it hurts to be slandered in your town. I know it hurts to hear all of the untrue things. But I honestly think, as much as it hurts, if you completely ignore the whole thing- it will go away. Your friends who are your true friends will come through for you and know the truth about who you are.

you are powerless over what she says about you- but you are not powerless over how people perceive you. I would definitely let police know about the phone call. Be proactive in protecting yourself.

I let them know but she called from a private number  ... So technically I can't prove it was her , very odd situation. The officer aren't making it sound like a big deal but I dunno... they just said you will leave each other alone... ironically I haven't done anything at all for the past 7 weeks but me being at the public event she was at essentially sparked a PO... I spoke to the chief today he was acting really snappy. He said you need to leave her alone... I said I haven't spoke to her in a while he said "THEN WHY IS SHE FILING FOR THIS NOW" ... .I was like " I don't know that's what I'm trying to figure out" ... but it almost seemed as though he was choosing sides.  

[cloudten]

Well the chief's response is kind of frustrating. But. The good thing is you reported it. Cell phone companies keep things on file forever... .so if you ever needed to get the number she called from, the info will be there if you need it.

Unfortunately you are the defendant. They shouldn't be so snippy because you have not been found guilty. I am assuming you are in the US, so that means innocent until proven guilty. Besides... .police can only enforce, not pass judgment. Sorry he gave you a disheartening response. I think you need to keep doing your thing, minding your own business, and avoid avoid avoid anything involving her. It might suck for a while, but it will eventually go away. Eventually she will have no leg to stand on... .as long as you keep in nc.

Have you blocked her from any and all social media?

[Mutt]

Hi PS,

If I may offer the following advice to you:

1. Don't contact her.

2. Don't answer her calls or reply to any text msgs.

3. Don't talk to her boyfriend.

4. Don't ever be near her.

5. Don't talk to anyone about her. (Except for bpdfamily)

Alright thanks , well it seems she's won in a sense? Although there is many holes in her story , she came clean about a relationship. . But stated we only dated for 2-3 weeks again the officer kind of thought it was BS... but I dunno they have let it pass and they allowed her to go ahead and attend court to get a PO ... not sure if it will be granted but at the end of the day she's already slandered my name quite well... and won't really face any repructions... at least not financially.

problemsolver,

The Chief likely shares the same frustration and confusion as you because he sees faults in her logic. I think that you're on target with holes in her story. I don't see what she's won? She's tarnishing her reputation if she alters her story and it doesn't match-up? Why are you obligated to defend her stories?

[problemsolver]

Well the chief's response is kind of frustrating. But. The good thing is you reported it. Cell phone companies keep things on file forever... .so if you ever needed to get the number she called from, the info will be there if you need it.

Unfortunately you are the defendant. They shouldn't be so snippy because you have not been found guilty. I am assuming you are in the US, so that means innocent until proven guilty. Besides... .police can only enforce, not pass judgment. Sorry he gave you a disheartening response. I think you need to keep doing your thing, minding your own business, and avoid avoid avoid anything involving her. It might suck for a while, but it will eventually go away. Eventually she will have no leg to stand on... .as long as you keep in nc.

Have you blocked her from any and all social media?

Yeah it was frustrating it almost seemed like a guilty until your proven . . But yeah I am in the US , the kicker is though I'm from north of the of the border if you know what I'm saying. So I kind of have that going against me in a sense... In my opinion when we split she was hoping I would vanish like a toy being discarded so I believe the more she sees me the more it may hurt... because I am able to see the "real her" but when we split I stayed resilient and committed to making a life out here with our without her... were not on each others social media... she used to get irrational jealous about it... so it essentially became a trigger.

[problemsolver]

Hi PS,

If I may offer the following advice to you:

1. Don't contact her.

2. Don't answer her calls or reply to any text msgs.

3. Don't talk to her boyfriend.

4. Don't ever be near her.

5. Don't talk to anyone about her. (Except for bpdfamily)

Alright thanks , well it seems she's won in a sense? Although there is many holes in her story , she came clean about a relationship. . But stated we only dated for 2-3 weeks again the officer kind of thought it was BS... but I dunno they have let it pass and they allowed her to go ahead and attend court to get a PO ... not sure if it will be granted but at the end of the day she's already slandered my name quite well... and won't really face any repructions... at least not financially.

problemsolver,

The Chief likely shares the same frustration and confusion as you because he sees faults in her logic. I think that you're on target with holes in her story. I don't see what she's won? She's tarnishing her reputation if she alters her story and it doesn't match-up? Why are you obligated to defend her stories?

I have no idea why I have to defend her stories. . No offence to people who have been in very short R/S with a BPD and are hurting but she said we only had a 2 week relationship? Why would I pursue someone after a 2 weeks r/s? So she essentially painted me as a psycho , pathological liar... in the back of mind all I keep thinking about is at about the 5 month mark when she told me she had BPD...

Essentially he is trying to find logic and there is none so I suppose the only answer is to believe I did do what she said... but the other officer and a "psychologist" they got involved didn't see any logic

[AsGoodAsItGets]

Wow, yea, nuts,  I know it stressful, you sound like a good guy.  Sorry it just the disorder, please don't beat yourself up.  Yes, this is serious, yet even if a po is issued, they only usually last 6 months, and I honestly don't think it will come to that.  Hey, if it makes you feel any better had 400k and now I'm 40k in debt and jobless.  Luckily not suicideal.  Yeah.  Ok, trust me ride this out.  Have three sister and 4 brother, seen a lot.  So breath get a therapist, or maybe consult a lawyer.  Well good luck

[Mutt]

Hi PS,

If I may offer the following advice to you:

1. Don't contact her.

2. Don't answer her calls or reply to any text msgs.

3. Don't talk to her boyfriend.

4. Don't ever be near her.

5. Don't talk to anyone about her. (Except for bpdfamily)

Alright thanks , well it seems she's won in a sense? Although there is many holes in her story , she came clean about a relationship. . But stated we only dated for 2-3 weeks again the officer kind of thought it was BS... but I dunno they have let it pass and they allowed her to go ahead and attend court to get a PO ... not sure if it will be granted but at the end of the day she's already slandered my name quite well... and won't really face any repructions... at least not financially.

problemsolver,

The Chief likely shares the same frustration and confusion as you because he sees faults in her logic. I think that you're on target with holes in her story. I don't see what she's won? She's tarnishing her reputation if she alters her story and it doesn't match-up? Why are you obligated to defend her stories?

I have no idea why I have to defend her stories. . No offence to people who have been in very short R/S with a BPD and are hurting but she said we only had a 2 week relationship? Why would I pursue someone after a 2 weeks r/s? So she essentially painted me as a psycho , pathological liar... in the back of mind all I keep thinking about is at about the 5 month mark when she told me she had BPD...

Essentially he is trying to find logic and there is none so I suppose the only answer is to believe I did do what she said... but the other officer and a "psychologist" they got involved didn't see any logic

If she goes around telling unsubstantiated stories about you that's on her. You're not responsible for that. My advice is don't worry about her.

[cloudten]

seeing as they got a psychologist involved, they probably don't believe her at all. Just stay on your island... .stay the course... .and you'll be vindicated.