im sorry youre hurting, problemsolver .
its a lot of stress and pressure and pain. you sound exhausted and doubting yourself. are you able to make time for yourself and to try and unwind? try to be kind to yourself during this time. we are here for you to lean on

I believe I have to go on Thursday to the hearing... haven't been served yet but I believe it will happen once I go and get the police report Monday...
A little bit of self doubt in my heart I KNOW how confusing and stressful she is and that she does have BPD and she will become very negative in the long run , 4 - 5 months from now and that the same patterns will occur in this current R/S as it did in mine... .But seeing that immediate visual kind paints the picture as " Hey I am in a "R/S" with this man... why would I care about PS he's just jealous etc etc" you know it gives her move leverage I suppose. Perfect timing to post publicly as well.
You are right though I haven't given myself a mental break ... I've been constantly calling lawyers , getting free legal advice. As I can't fight this battle on my own ... it's not as casual as I originally thought.