I am a health care professional, I have a great career and business. For the last 5 years I have been living with a textbook BPD Brazilian woman. She has left me and left the country after a she violently attacked me during a trip to Europe. We have been talking, but the relationship is still broken. She says she left me because I wouldn't divorce the wife that I am currently separated from. Initially I wanted to get a divorce and marry this woman but early on I saw the rages, the intrusions into my phone, email, and my computer. This eroded my trust in her stability. Despite this, I stayed with her for 5 years for her good attributes. There were many other rages during that time. She kicked out my windshield, beat me with her shoes, Ripped the shirt off my back, damaged two fingers by twisting them. Many times after the rages, she would blame ME for committing the violent acts. From what I have read, her demands most likely would not stop after me getting a divorce. My mother, father, and stepfather had BPD. It is my understanding that I am attracted to BPD's because of this. At the same time my girlfriend left me, my BPD mother said she was going to cut me out of her will because she didn't like my girlfriend. I have since become estranged from my mother. So I have two BPD break ups in my life. It has been about 2 months and I holding my own but quite unusually depressed. I have lost ~ 30lbs. I feel ok at work but upset on the weekends. My old ex and is also a BPD but non violent. She wants to rekindle our old relationship. I am considering it to reduce my emotional pain. I am trying to concentrate on my body by eating properly and exercising, but I can't get my BPD girlfriend out of my mind. So far I have not be able to stop contact with her. I am trying though.
Hey Danman,
we perfectly understand how you feel, terminating a relationship with a BPD individual is usually a terrifying experience.
Perhaps this last BPD "experience" will be extremely useful for you to understand why you're so attracted towards BPD women (the fact you had a BPD mother can be a huge indicator, since we tend to replicate in romantic relationships the behavioural patterns we have/had with our mother) and therefore change those little elements in your personality which make you attracted towards such women.
You may even start to consider and truly appreciate equilibrate - and mentally sane - women!
Are you in therapy at the moment? That greatly helps to see things with clarity and heal in case you decide to break up with your BPD partner.
