I have difficulty knowing anymore; I feel like if I'm trying to make myself feel better I'm just telling lies to avoid guilt and shame.
Yes, I have a tendency to do that too, it's called right brain dissociation, where we'll think ourselves out of negative emotions by bludgeoning them with rational thought. And the other extreme would be doing everything out of the left brain, all emotion, no thought. Best to use both, it's called wisemind around here, but the point is to think and feel concurrently, best done by being still, centered, balanced, unstressed, unhurried, and definitely not in contact with someone who is unsupportive. And if we just settle into that place, mellow, thinking and feeling at the same time, what's right and what was real will reveal themselves, be unavoidable really. And if what was real ain't good, it will be uncomfortable, but stay there anyway, process whatever's going on, fight the urge to overthink your way out of it. Being centered and balanced is like a muscle, the ability to do that gets stronger the more we work it.
