Bpd partner n pale/light skin tone

[statsattack]

Has anyone noticed their partner to have this natural pale/ light skin tone glow about them

[flourdust]

Has anyone noticed their partner to have this natural pale/ light skin tone glow about them

No. Are you trying to generalize from your pwBPD's traits to all pwBPD? It doesn't really work like that. These can be very different people with only a particular disorder (which itself manifests in different ways, albeit with some common trends) in common.

[statsattack]

No not trying to generalize. Noticed things that don't add up.

[nylonsquid]

No not trying to generalize. Noticed things that don't add up.

Don't want to make it into a race thing because I believe BPD is a disorder that occurs in early trauma so anyone can have that. Having said that and to indulge you, my two exgfwBPDs were pretty pale skin along with 2 girls I dated that were BPDs. Other than this being an indication of a preference I have I also noticed they have child like features. Whether its in their voice, fingers, smooth skin etc. They have almost subliminal child like (youthful) characteristics thats probably part of the "charm" that attracted us to them. Their vulnerability and their innocense is manifested in their physical appearance.

But I have a male friend who is BPD and he doesn't have glowy pale skin :D But he is a charmer with childlike characteristics.

[Hisaccount]

I agree it is not good to make a blanket comment like that, but I have to admit my exBPD is very pale.

[once removed]

Noticed things that don't add up.

care to elaborate?

[statsattack]

Want to get this straight
I don't judge people because I don't like when people judge me for things they are uneducated about.

I am learning more and more about BPD each and every day and I believe it is something that people need to be educated about. I am thinking about creating a company that educates lawyers, judges, police officers, corporations and hr professionals on recognizing mental health issues, how to deal with conflict and how to manage the situation based on the employee issues.

What is weird is the physical features we notice we are the only ones who notice them or someone who understands/knows they have BPD. I asked not to judge but because something doesn't add up with her phsyical features. She has a pale complexion that no one else in her family has and that doesn't make sense. She some times has this crazy eye thing to. Think if we learn to understand phsycial characterisitcs it can help people in the future run away or suggest help is needed.

[statsattack]

care to elaborate?

eyes, skin complextion compared to her familys, voice tone/ delivery of a little kid, doesn't/didn't act age appropriate, teeth seem to be grinded (from stress).

There were times when I saw a 5 year old in a 24 year olds body and times I saw a high schooler in a 24 year olds body. There were times I saw a ghost like figure in a humans body.

[once removed]

Think if we learn to understand phsycial characterisitcs it can help people in the future run away or suggest help is needed.

there are no physical features that identify BPD.

being educated about BPD is a useful part of recovery. also useful is sharing our story and experiences, how the issues on our minds affected us.

i can relate to my ex acting childlike. how did this affect you? is this something you considered a red flag?

[statsattack]

there are no physical features that identify BPD.

being educated about BPD is a useful part of recovery. also useful is sharing our story and experiences, how the issues on our minds affected us.

i can relate to my ex acting childlike. how did this affect you? is this something you considered a red flag?

Honestly looking back now there were red flags left and right. The way she and others made me feel made me feel so guilty and bad that I was blinded by the truth. Looking back now there are a ton of red flags. I forgive her but not the enablers of this behavior.

[enlighten me]

Whilst I agree that pale complexion is not a sign of BPD it did get me thinking. Both my uBPD exs suffered from anaemia from time to time. I have also read other posts here saying that the pwBPD in the posters life had anaemia.

I don't think its a major indicator of BPD but it could be a symptom in some if anaemia is linked to BPD.

[oshinko maki]

Has anyone noticed their partner to have this natural pale/ light skin tone glow about them

No. Not even once.

[Harri]

Globally, anaemia affects 1.62 billion people (95% CI: 1.50–1.74 billion), which corresponds to 24.8% of the population (95% CI: 22.9–26.7%). The highest prevalence is in preschool-age children (47.4%, 95% CI: 45.7–49.1), and the lowest prevalence is in men (12.7%, 95% CI: 8.6–16.9%). However, the population group with the greatest number of individuals affected is non-pregnant women (468.4 million, 95% CI: 446.2–490.6).

Ref.  www.who.int/vmnis/anaemia/prevalence/summary/anaemia_data_status_t2/en/

[Confused108]

Well mine did. My ex was from India and she had the lightest skin I have ever seen on any Indian girl. It was strange. And she would do this staring look. Like just stare at me kinda weird thing it was creeoy.

[jasmine-1234]

I had read on another forum that some people thought "better looking " people tended to display more BPD behavior, something to the effect of that better looking people can get away with the behavior more easily.

My ex was a white guy, not super pale though, freckely but yes had definitely childlike qualities.  Still the other side of him was a stone cold soldier... .

[JohnLove]

Yes... .pale/light skin tone... .with a "glow".

I wondered about it because she often doesn't take the best care of herself but not in relation to her BPD.

Although from the responses it may be a thing?   

[jhkbuzz]

eyes, skin complextion compared to her familys, voice tone/ delivery of a little kid, doesn't/didn't act age appropriate, teeth seem to be grinded (from stress).

There were times when I saw a 5 year old in a 24 year olds body and times I saw a high schooler in a 24 year olds body.

This is evidence of a person with a fractured sense of self - someone without a "whole" self. I saw the same things in my ex, too.

This is why it's a mental disorder. It has nothing to do with physical features.

[oshinko maki]

And she would do this staring look. Like just stare at me kinda weird thing it was creeoy.

I get the staring regularly as well! (I wanted to ask about that here too but cannot figure out how to start a thread.) I was pretty sure, for no reason though really, and apparently incorrectly sure, that it was just my pwBPD. It is really creepy and scary sometimes because it is seems so inappropriate.

[statsattack]

Did the staring look come with I'm tired or your just trying to hurt me

[oshinko maki]

Did the staring look come with I'm tired or your just trying to hurt me

In my case, she says nothing and just stares, sometimes from several meters away, sometimes from only 1 meter away. She doesn't seem tired but looks to be on a threshold of anger or something. I am too afraid to ask, and when I have said the equivalent of "what's up" in the past, she starts yelling hard then, so I know to be careful to avoid interaction then. Maybe the stare is one of hatred (or hurting?) and holding back anger?

[nylonsquid]

Mine (all 4 experiences) had big round eyes and they knew how to control them. They fixated on you as long as you looked to draw you in to their abyss. They loove the attention and focus you can give. You are a person that they, like a vortex of void, suck you in for what you are. They need what you have... a "core" self.