Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
March 28, 2024, 12:30:42 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Controlling behavior to teen daughters?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Controlling behavior to teen daughters? (Read 331 times)
ElinorD
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 60
Controlling behavior to teen daughters?
«
on:
January 20, 2017, 08:37:07 AM »
My uBPDh gets old-school about the length of our teen daughters' skirts. This morning he declared to me after they went to school dressed up for something that "that skirt is too short." I just said, ls it? And went about my business.
I know a lot of dads can be like that, but when he does it, it feels like him trying to control them because of fear. He's not religiously conservative (or religious whatsoever). Our girls generally dress and behave in classy ways. And we're not talking about a truly mini skirt, just some inches above the knee. Other respectable girls would wear it.
Some of it is the way he delivers it like a decree, not a concern or something to discuss. If I argue, which I did about one fashion choice our son made, he'll get angry, I know.
I'm afraid he's going to be a 1950s style dad, with the way he disapproves of some of their music, too.
And I think the issue I have to deal with is my fear. I'm afraid he's going to be too controlling with them (which my mother was in some ways to me as a teen, but not about clothes), and I'm afraid of what happens when I challenge anything he does as a dad. The reaction is usually big, which I know is insecurity
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Naughty Nibbler
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727
Re: Controlling behavior to teen daughters?
«
Reply #1 on:
January 20, 2017, 07:25:02 PM »
Hey ElinorD:
I think what teenagers wear and the music they listen to can be controversial issues for non's as well as pwBPD. Issues of skirt length were easy for parents in my day, the public school had a regulation. If there was doubt, you got measured. If the skirt wasn't long enough, you got sent home.
I think dads can struggle if they see their daughter looking too sexy.
I came to see it as a norm that parents won't like their children's music. My parent's never liked the music of my day. I think children need to be respectful, in regard to blasting music and imposing loud music on others (headphones, headphones and more headphones). I don't think setting boundaries in regard to songs with offensive lyrics would be too controlling. Some parents may set a boundary where they won't buy the music, but the child can buy their own with money from an allowance, gift money, etc.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Controlling behavior to teen daughters?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...