Is it all BPD or do they also have a Split Personality?

[Depression = 72% of members]

It always baffled my mind as to how a person can love you one day and the next just walk away like you never existed. Mine actually wrote me a heart felt letter only days before discarding me like I was sh*t under her shoes. Of course all the. blame was shifted to me etc. . I knew she was mentally ill and she was diagnosed as being bipolar or so she claimed. Her actions towards me like so many others here have gone thru never matched that of a person who is Bipolar. I have a few friends who unfortunately are Bipolar and even off their meds they never acted like my ex. My exs moods would switch all day long like flicking on and off a light switch. She never wanted to make plans just go with the moment as she would say. After her cold discard of me I did some investigating of her behavior and came to the conclusion that she was misdiagnosed and is really BPD. Or maybe she was diagnosed with it and just told me she was Bipolar. That wouldn't shock me because my ex was also a pathological liar. No surprise there. This still didn't sit right with me. How can a person change so quickly. Love is one day and forget us the next. Well maybe that's because we might be dealing with certain individuals  who might also suffer from a "Split Personality".  The new name is called  :)issacocative Disorder. I have spoken to 2 different Drs. And they have said that YES a person can suffer from having a "Split Personality" (DD) and be comorbid with BPD! Let's face it how many of us sat there and thought who is this person? That's not my girlfriend, boyfriend etc... I myself at times thought I was dealing with 2 different people. Now I'm not saying Everyone with BPD has a "Split Personality" but it's a possibility. Here's a link to an article . At the bottom they mention comorbitity dealing with BPD.
www.medicinenet.com/script/main/mobileart.asp?articlekey=101261

[Confused108]

It always baffled my mind as to how a person can love you one day and the next just walk away like you never existed. Mine actually wrote me a heart felt letter only days before discarding me like I was sh*t under her shoes. Of course all the. blame was shifted to me etc. . I knew she was mentally ill and she was diagnosed as being bipolar or so she claimed. Her actions towards me like so many others here have gone thru never matched that of a person who is Bipolar. I have a few friends who unfortunately are Bipolar and even off their meds they never acted like my ex. My exs moods would switch all day long like flicking on and off a light switch. She never wanted to make plans just go with the moment as she would say. After her cold discard of me I did some investigating of her behavior and came to the conclusion that she was misdiagnosed and is really BPD. Or maybe she was diagnosed with it and just told me she was Bipolar. That wouldn't shock me because my ex was also a pathological liar. No surprise there. This still didn't sit right with me. How can a person change so quickly. Love is one day and forget us the next. Well maybe that's because we might be dealing with certain individuals  who might also suffer from a "Split Personality".  The new name is called  :)issacocative Disorder. I have spoken to 2 different Drs. And they have said that YES a person can suffer from having a "Split Personality" (DD) and be comorbid with BPD! Let's face it how many of us sat there and thought who is this person? That's not my girlfriend, boyfriend etc... I myself at times thought I was dealing with 2 different people. Now I'm not saying Everyone with BPD has a "Split Personality" but it's a possibility. Here's a link to an article . At the bottom they mention comorbitity dealing with BPD.
www.medicinenet.com/script/main/mobileart.asp?articlekey=101261

[once removed]

you received some answers to this question in your previous thread on the subject: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=292729.0

How can a person change so quickly. Love is one day and forget us the next.

this is fairly typical "BPD" behavior Confused108 (at least from our perception; its usually because our partners had previously grieved the relationship and are processing from a different perspective than we, the ones who were left, are), as are mood swings (very different than multiple personalities).

so, it sounds like the way she ended it really stung, understandably. looking at the stages of detachment to the right -------> where would you say you are?

[In a bad way]

I actually found this forum whilst researching split personality and instant personality change.
I fully understand the flicking a light switch and becoming a different person.
Mine could go from us laughing to in an instant telling me to f... off out of her house and I was called every name under the sun. This is from a woman who when she was her normal self did not swear and didn't like other people swearing.
She without any doubt in my mind become a different person in an instant and then when she returned back to herself had absolutely no memory of the horrible deranged other self.
I could get a text an hour later asking where and why I've gone or it could be the next morning.
She would always say she was sorry and couldn't remember.
Mine didn't tell many lies and she did make plans but she very rarely stuck to them.

[enlighten me]

Ive wondered about this split personality and While my exgf displayed it I wouldn't say she had DID (dissociative identity disorder). It did get me thinking about DID and a large number of those diagnosed with DID are comorbid with bi polar and BPD.

My personal belief is that DID is what I saw but on steroids. With my exgf it was mood related so it got me thinking that mood triggered different memories which made her a different person. We are after all a sum of our memories but my exgf seemed to have them compartmentalised by mood.

[Confused108]

My ex at times would be very mushy and a lamb when she would want to break it off etc. She would tell me I was too good for her etc. . She wouldn't rage or anything. Just be very sweet. Then other times she was Satan himself. Cursing, blaming everything on me wanting me out of her life asap. Telling me she never loved me etc. So yup without a doubt I do believe NOT all people with BPD but some are. It's Split (DID) and also have BPD.

[once removed]

black and white. push and pull. "i hate you, dont leave me." wild mood swings. thats what it sounds like youre describing; very different than multiple personalities.

[Confused108]

I'm not saying my ex had multiple personalities. A split one.  And when 2 different Drs. Tell me yes it sounds like a split with BPD and then I find articles written by professionals that back that up hmm I wonder? Since we don't have medical backgrounds I wonder who we should belive? Scorned ex lovers on here? Trying to figure out what the heck just happened? Or medical professionals? It's a no brainer.

[Sunfl0wer]

I believe it was the last, most recent DSM that professionals did debate and a many number did want BPD categorized on the spectrum of dissociative disorders.

When having a perspective of Structural Dissociation of the Personality, BPD is one way to dissociate(p48), of other ways.  However, that is not to say, it cannot also be comorbid.  BPD is classified as Secondary Structural Dissociation along with DDNOS and cPTSD, and others.  :)ID is considered Tertiary.

(I have a Dx of DDNOS, yet do not have BPD, nor do I feel any of my "Parts" to have BPD.)

Personally, I am not so sure if I would have been on the side of BPD joining dissociative disorder or not.  I do see how it pretty much does include severe dissociation, however, I do not myself identify with the personality disordered traits.  My personality is more dynamic even when/if compartmentalized to a degree, it just has more insight/self awareness than persons with a PD. (As do others I know of with DDNOS and DID without the BPD)

So yea, it is no wonder your pwBPD seems like a different person when triggered in some way, then forgets stuff, then behaves like certain things didn't happen or denies things.

Sometimes I do/experience things, and feel very removed from the "Part" of my personality that did/experienced something.  Yet, I can also get triggered, and get back in touch wiith that Part of me in some way.  So in that sense, I relate to the mood swings and dissociation a pwBPD has.

However, I do not compartmentalize stuff into "all good" or "all bad" compartments for my memories.  My compartments are not black/white.  They contain memories like in cPTSD (yes, flashbacks are a form of dissociative experience as it is not fully integrated into the mind the way non trama memories are), or they contain other stuff, just not such black/white segregation, but different terms of the compartments.  Also, my behavior and actions are not motivated by a strong urge to avoid abandonment. 

[Sunfl0wer]

Just occurred to me... .
If BPD was classified and treated like DID with the end goal of treatment being greater awareness and integration of personality states, in that sense, I can see lots of usefulness in classifying it as a dissociative disorder.

However, I imagine the professionals already know and have tried DID type/related therapies on them?  Idk, maybe I will ask my T why the go to treatment is DBT and not EMDR to calm their emotional parts and help integrate their experiences?  Humm, interesting.

[apollotech]

I don't know about your exSO Confused, but I do believe that most pwBPD have only one personality, with severely opposite triggered states. I can definitely understand why the wide swings would make someone raise the question of multiple personalities.

In my own relationship, I know that my ex had/has only one personality, but she cannot self-regulate her emotions which, in turn, drives her into very polarized opposite states. As many of us have experienced, at breakfast I would be better than sunshine, but by lunch I would be the spawn of Satan. But, both always came from the same person.

[Octy]

I witnessed baby talk for months. No memory or distorted memories and constant hypocritical actions. Different views at different times. Dissociation, splitting? Prude and judgmental to suductress and exhibitionist. I also thought she was DID before finding out about BPD.

[Confused108]

My ex would go from looking like a school teacher to a total slut in a heart beat. Totally different looks and personality I was shocked. I had friends who said to me what's going on here? Totally different person then before. My ex would also tell me in the very beginning that she didn't like sex. Bodies just clanking around she said. It's overrated. Then out of the blue she would tell me how great sex was with her ex boyfriend. He was such a man they way he treated my body. Then she would tell me that she couldn't have people treat her body like that anymore. It was complete nuts. Then she wanted to have sex with me to yuck . So I'm not saying every single person with BPD is a split personality. I belive mine was and also was comirbid with BPD. Either way we look at it these individuals are very mentally ill .

[Sunfl0wer]

Well, most folks really misunderstand what DID or DDNOS is like.  Many folks still think Sybil, or such.  In fact, it is quite common that personalities do share some co-consciousness.  Not everyone with DID has no awareness of when they are in other personality states, they just may not be able to access all of their mind or such.  Or for me, I can have overlapping personas.  Like, as I am cooking, part of me is cooking, but another part is carrying on the conversation with my son.  But then when I was done cooking, I accidentally asked him the question I did at the beginning of cooking cause I had no recollection of our past 20 min of conversation.  Actually, no one has been able to tell because of the way my parts overlap, and I'm quite functional, work, no issues caring for my kid.  And most systems are designed to be hidden or unoticed anyways.

I am kinda feeling like Confused108's ex does sound a bit DID or DDNOS like.  It is pretty common to have a sexual alter and to compartmentalize ones sexuality to a degree.  When getting raped, molested, the body has no choice but to feel physically aroused to a degree even if in pain also, or frightened.  Many folks (unintentionally) create an alter or part that handles feeling the arousing feelings and that helps them to manage feelings of shame, guilt, taking ownership of wanting a rape, etc.  it helps the mind to process what seems unbearable.

Anyways, hoping that makes sense to someone.

[SuperJew82]

I just think they really don't have a core set of values, beliefs, likes, etc... .They piggyback on others and do the mirror game.

If it is strategic for them to keep themselves out of pain - they will adopt whatever is in front of them. I don't even think they are aware of it themselves.

[Confused108]

Well, most folks really misunderstand what DID or DDNOS is like.  Many folks still think Sybil, or such.  In fact, it is quite common that personalities do share some co-consciousness.  Not everyone with DID has no awareness of when they are in other personality states, they just may not be able to access all of their mind or such.  Or for me, I can have overlapping personas.  Like, as I am cooking, part of me is cooking, but another part is carrying on the conversation with my son.  But then when I was done cooking, I accidentally asked him the question I did at the beginning of cooking cause I had no recollection of our past 20 min of conversation.  Actually, no one has been able to tell because of the way my parts overlap, and I'm quite functional, work, no issues caring for my kid.  And most systems are designed to be hidden or unoticed anyways.

I am kinda feeling like Confused108's ex does sound a bit DID or DDNOS like.  It is pretty common to have a sexual alter and to compartmentalize ones sexuality to a degree.  When getting raped, molested, the body has no choice but to feel physically aroused to a degree even if in pain also, or frightened.  Many folks (unintentionally) create an alter or part that handles feeling the arousing feelings and that helps them to manage feelings of shame, guilt, taking ownership of wanting a rape, etc.  it helps the mind to process what seems unbearable.

Anyways, hoping that makes sense to someone.

. My ex was never raped. She would make up disgusting lies to draw attention to herself and have people feel sorry for her.

[Sunfl0wer]

My ex was never raped. She would make up disgusting lies to draw attention to herself and have people feel sorry for her

Well, maybe you are right, maybe she has BPD or DID or both.  Or maybe you will never know.

Sometimes understanding more can bring us a bit of peace.
Yet sometimes we are more often left with many unanswered questions.
I find, in these situations, it is harder to find closure, we have to look inside ourselves more to find it.

Assuming you may know all you can about her, how can we help with your detaching?  Or what is next for you?