Has this happened to anyone else?

[PapaBear1000]

Hi

I'm having an issue with my wife who has BPD and I'm wondering if anyone else has similar experiences. This has happened several times, the latest being this morning. Sometimes when we have a disagreement, she will run away from home to a women's shelter despite the fact no abuse has occurred. The last time this occurred, she lied to me and told me she was staying with a friend, only to admit to the truth later. Following the advice of my therapist, I have started setting firmer boundaries with her. In our disagreement this morning, I told her firmly but calmly that would not engage with her further if she continued to interrupt me and use a mocking, sarcastic tone. Yet she continued to badger me after I disengaged from the conversation and headed off to work. I got a text from her this afternoon when I got home that she had gone to a shelter. She often seems to look for opportune times to push my buttons, such as when I'm getting ready for work (even when I'm brushing my teeth or shaving!), the moment I arrive home from work in the afternoon, or right before bed when I'm tired. This behavior stresses me out on a couple of fronts. First, God only knows what lies she is telling these shelters to gain admission. But secondly, she's taking resources from legitimate domestic violence victims who really need them just to feed her own victim mentality and escape responsibility for her behavior. That's profoundly wrong and makes me angry. I love her dearly and I've seen how wonderful she can be when she is in a good space. But I've also seen her at her worst like this. And I don't know how much more I can take. I'm increasingly depressed and stressed out. My self-esteem is eroding by the day. Anyway, thanks for listening and for any advice or wisdom from your own experience.

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