My HwuBPD escalated, making me wonder if danger is on the horizon.

[JazzSinger]

Yesterday, my H swatted my phone out of my hand.  I was taking a picture of him wearing  a T-shirt with a  a polarizing message. 

He feared I would  use it to blackmail him, by sending it to his friends, which I would never do. I took it to remind myself of who he really is.

I wonder if this means he could escalate to hitting me? He’s never done it, in 22 years of marriage. But I know I can’t rule it out. 

I realize I can’t throw him out, not just because I’d take a big financial hit, but also because he has rights. He’s on the propriety lease. He’s on the deed. Apart from that, where I live, everything is marital property. Unless he hits me and I press charges, I can’t force him out. I’m not leaving, because I have nowhere to go, and I love my home. I’m nearly 80 years old — I’m not looking to change my surroundings at this stage in my life. 

I feel stuck. 

But…

I’m detached, at all times. When his outbursts feel like he’s making me a punching bag, I leave the room. I have an enjoyable life when I’m away from him.  He’s not criticizing and digging into me as much as he used to. Now, I  can actually experience joy and peace at home, even though he almost never leaves the house.  I found ways to block him out. I’ve come a long way. 

I guess I’m just venting, but…

Is swatting the phone out of my hand a sign that he could hit me?  I’m not sure. 

Thanks.  I needed to vent. 
Jazz

[Pook075]

Hi Jazz!

I've swatted at a few phones in my day when someone was trying to take a photo I didn't like.  But I never tried to break anyone's phone either or actually hurt them.  I guess it would depend on your husband's motives and how we was feeling/acting right after that happened.

Maybe the best possible lesson here is not to take photos of your husband since it could be a trigger for him.  I know that sounds silly, but it's a minor concession to living in peace.