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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: No contact still  (Read 455 times)
Woods77
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59


« on: February 15, 2017, 07:26:25 PM »

Hello

I split up with my exBPD about 5 months ago, but it seems like yesterday.

I recently emailed her again to apologise about something, but she never replies. She said to stay friends but she has never replied to any email. Why does she not reply?

It annoys me that she never replies and doesnt seem to care, I guess I should let it go?
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In a bad way
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 330


« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2017, 07:48:09 PM »

Hello

I split up with my exBPD about 5 months ago, but it seems like yesterday.

I recently emailed her again to apologise about something, but she never replies. She said to stay friends but she has never replied to any email. Why does she not reply?

It annoys me that she never replies and doesnt seem to care, I guess I should let it go?

Pretty much the same here except mine was 8 months ago, I sent her a big long letter 4 months ago without reply.
Not 100% sure she got it because somebody signed her name on the recorded delivery and it wasn't her.
It beggars belief that she can just wipe me out like that after everything, and we were engaged.
Like you it feels like yesterday.
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noideaforname
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 58


« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2017, 08:11:25 PM »

well... .i sent an email after our break up and she never responded... .i went for her at whatsapp and she talked to me... .i asked if she had read the email... .

yeah she had, but it was like nothing... .i was like nothing to her... .she told me she had lost interest in me and had became emotionally connected with other people and i should start to see other people since she was doing that... .
and told me that there was nothing i could do to change anything... .

so my guess is... most of them will not answer until they feel they need you... .and even them they will reach out like if you were somebody they have little memories
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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520


« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2017, 02:23:21 AM »

Hello

I split up with my exBPD about 5 months ago, but it seems like yesterday.

I recently emailed her again to apologise about something, but she never replies. She said to stay friends but she has never replied to any email. Why does the not reply?

It annoys me that she never replies and doesnt seem to care, I guess I should let it go?

Because you have nothing she wants right now.

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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520


« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2017, 02:27:12 AM »

well... .i sent an email after our break up and she never responded... .i went for her at whatsapp and she talked to me... .i asked if she had read the email... .

yeah she had, but it was like nothing... .i was like nothing to her... .she told me she had lost interest in me and had became emotionally connected with other people and i should start to see other people since she was doing that... .
and told me that there was nothing i could do to change anything... .

so my guess is... most of them will not answer until they feel they need you... .and even them they will reach out like if you were somebody they have little memories

They ate like any other ex who has lost interest, the only difference is they feel no need to spare your feelings so will be brutally honest.

They lost attraction. Im sure we can all remember a time where either an ex or someone we just werent interested in kept trying with us. Its annoying and frustrating but we try to be "nice" about it.

They dont feel the need to be "nice" and we get hurt and call them abusive etc.

Its a big circle. You pull yourself out by moving on and focusing on yourself. The aim is to become the person who would never have got in this situation in the first place. When you get to that point you wont be concerned with a mentally ill ex anymore.
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Woods77
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59


« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2017, 04:21:09 PM »

Thanks for everyones advice and replies.
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Rayban
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 502


« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2017, 04:45:56 PM »

Woods

This is the time to step back. Her not responding is her way of saying it's time to move on as difficult as that might seem. You keep contacting her, next step she'll file a RO and juice every last drop of attention she could get ... .at your expense. 

Don't expect closure.  She's getting her needs met elsewhere.  Use this time to work on yourself.
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jambley
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 191



« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2017, 04:55:38 PM »

As above, don't contact her is my suggestion. Is it really worth all that pain? I can see my ex for what she really is, I am glad to be out of that. It is hard but NC is best. Be happy.
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