tired of thinking for her

[mekitron]

dear everyone,

i've been a caregiver for my wife since her first psychotic break in 2015. since then she's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 1), histrionic personality disorder, and the latest, bpd, around two years ago.

each psychotic break is usually followed or preceded by revelations of a massive trauma which she had kept a secret to everyone.

she takes her meds, abused them several times including a few near-suicide attempts, but absolutely refuses to go to talk therapy, cbt, or dbt. too confronting, she says.

thing is, she also refuses to talk to me about her past, her traumas, her current problems, in order to find a way to at least manage them. according to my own therapist (i'm the one who goes to therapy every 3 weeks!), i have fallen into the trap of working out her problems for her and finding solutions for her, too, to the point that she doesn't feel like she has to do anything.

"ah, that could be because when you were at uni you were xxx", "i see, it must've been your father's helicopter parenting xxx", and so on.

i'm tired. she moved to a new doctor and a totally new medication regiment in the beginning of this year and had most of her old meds canceled since they were mostly sedatives. since then she has started to do house chores (never did any before) but constantly complained not just about them but about everything.

in the morning she would come out of her room and started complaining about random things. most of the time they are similar problems that i can see have their root causes in her traumas, less than ideal behavioral development, anger, etc. but she seems to be oblivious to these causes. or doesn't care at all. she just wants to whinge.

what to do? i am so tired?

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