Hi mecalecalec,
No worries, that's what this forum is here for, it's to talk, get it out without being invalidated or judged, we get that a lot from our pwBPD or sometimes our family members as well.
"but you wont take ownership for getting me so worked up"
That's an interesting quote, I've been blamed for that too, what I learned here is that we're not responsible for someone else's feelings and it's up to that person to sooth their own feelings. A pwBPD can't self sooth or regulate their emotions, BPD is an emotional dysregulation disorder. I think that getting out and not subjecting yourself to her line of fire when she's emotionally dysregulating is good. I can understand how she would trigger feelings of guilt and fear, have you heard of
fog or emotional blackmail? ( Fear, Obligation, Guilt )A pwBPD will say many negative things about you, it helps to talk to others to get feedback that's more realistic about you, I recall the fog or how it made me feel, the things that my exuBPDw would say made me feel a lot of guilt and I was scared of her, it's the disorder, I learned to depersonlize it here, it can be a goal for you too, keep in mind that it takes time and we can see have our feelings about the behaviors, I find that it helps to share that with others here, people that get it, we help each other out.