Introduction

[KatharineH]

I am a daughter of a mother with undiagnosed BPD.  My sister, and several of her children may too be sufferers.

I recently requested my mother end all future contact with me.  I feel guilty, sad, and am hopeful I can find what I need in this group.  Primarily a way to stop feeling guilty and establish healthy boundaries with others.  I'd like to develop tools to stop care taking, but maintain my caring nature.

I am grateful to have some place I can turn where others can understand how isolating and confusing it can be to deal with those struggling with BPD.

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi KatharineH! 

Welcome!

Thank you for joining us and for making the first post to our C&H board.  There are so many other members here who will be able to share from their own stories and hurts like yours. I am sorry for the pain you are currently experiencing. It is no fun at all, and you make an excellent observation when you mention that you feel sad and guilty. I know of many others of us who also experience those same feelings. You are not alone.

Here is a link which might be helpful to you:

Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)

Have you considered seeing a T to help you on this journey? I am so thankful for mine. Healing from an uBPDm is a tough recovery but it is so possible, one step at a time!

 
Wools

[Sarlen]

Hi KatherineH,
I am totally new to this but I am also the daughter of a mother with BPD. My mom called me in the middle of the night recently and forced me to make a decision on whether or not I wanted a relationship with her. I completely understand you wanting no future contact with her and I hope you know that you shouldn't feel guilty for your decision. I know how incredibly hard it is to be in that position and I believe that you are doing what you think is right and best for you and that is incredibly strong considering the circumstances.