I don't know where I fit

[Llcooljp]

We're broke up
She's with another
I'm not sure weather to or if I can be ready to give up on getting her back
Thinking when they split will be my only next chance at that
Or if I can or want to  eliminate the idea and purposely make sure not to go back
She has 8 year old, he stayed the night last night
We have 2 year old girl

She stays at her moms when she has kids & othe guys when not
I'm feeling like if I found this site before I could have done so much more and wonder if I still can
I sent the part about broke up & now what to my psycologist & asked for someone who specializes in that type of help
I got diagnosed bipolar2, ADHD, depressed & anxiety and I wonder if it wasn't just all symptoms of my relationship
I am very caring (captain save a girl) might be something I need to get help on
I run a business that has failed couple times due t the stress of the relationship
Drinking together was a big bond
I can't or shouldn't now that I'm 3dwo probation
Amphedimine type drugs were a big part of us
We got super sexy with that
It's still a way I can get her attention
I've tried to ultimatum her to therapy and set it as a boundary for myself and no luck
We have suffered domestic violence both ways
I feel emotionally & mentally abused as no one could ever understand
I couldn't understand why friend or lover could ever try so specifically t destroy a person
She stopped working each time we moved in together
When room mates were there she used them as an audience to embarrass me
The more I helped seemed to create a resentment for her somehow
I firmly believe for us to work we would need to remove the domestic violence resentments
She would need to work so she didn't have all that time to think about what I was doing
She needs to stop destroying trust by asking pointed questions referring to cheating or I need to learn to take it differently
We would need to be able to have company or go to places and feel like they want to hang out with us again
Selexa (spell) seemed to help her  
She was ableto at least kinda be in the moment with that pill

I'm unsure where this all is leading me
The kids bring up things too.  
If there were more time I could go on and on
8 days out from brake up
Just stopped crying
Family is gone
Sad
Hurt
Depressed
Doc gave me lexapro
& anxiety med, not xanex

Lost confused & lonely

New gal also recently broke up likes me but I'm not attracted n don't know if I'm screwed up or what, talking her ear off bout this is sucky
I have to clear my mind and run my business
I've always been in relationship
She suggested I try my x wife
She was good for me
The thought crosses my mind
Feel like what I did to her just happened to me
She was my rock
I wasn't for her
Maybe if I had found this sooner
Crying again need to suck it up
I'm so much fun & it's all going to waste

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Llcoojp,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm sorry for the delay. I'm also sorry to hear that you broke up. It sounds like you're doing some self work.

I can't or shouldn't now that I'm 3dwo probation
Amphedimine type drugs were a big part of us

We have suffered domestic violence both ways

I firmly believe for us to work we would need to remove the domestic violence resentments

She would need to work so she didn't have all that time to think about what I was doing

These are boundaries, you're also working with a P, what did your P say? You've set some of these boundaries with your ex and it didn't go well, it could be that she's not ready for change, change is something that's personal it's hard to ask someone else to change. Maybe she's not ready yet, I also believe that it's not a hard fast rule, you asked her once, maybe you could ask her again.

I think that it sounds like you have internal conflict, I'd suggest to ask yourself what you want, do you want to stick by your boundaries? I'm not saying that she's not going to for it, but the chances are probably narrow right now, it goes back to what I said about change, it sounds like you're not happy with how things are.