I don't have the strength to walk away as long as he loves me.
He is in self preservation mode now, and is moving to his own place so he can be "safe".
I think these two statements are a good place to start.
Step 1 is to decide that you are responsible for your own feelings and actions, and he is responsible for his. This is WAY easier said than done, but is critical no matter what direction your relationship takes.
It may be true that you don't have the "strength" to leave right now. It may also be true that the "love" he shows you is enough to keep you from building the strength or plan necessary to change the terms of the relationship. It sometimes takes stepping back from the hurt you are feeling to regain better understanding. In my opinion, that's the positive of what BF is proposing. He wants to create some space and is communicating to you that he feels that space will help the relationship in the long term.
Now for the flip side of the situation. BF has a right to create a "safe" space for himself. SO DO YOU. If the current situation does not feel "safe" to you, it is okay for you to address the issues that are making you feel "unsafe".
If pretending that everything is okay today and will be in the future (for the events he's planning) creates a lot of stress for you, it's okay for you to say something. This is a great place to try out "what do I say" and get feedback on how to frame your statements in a way that is most likely to be heard and understood by pwBPD.
I think that it's reasonable to minimize the "limbo" that you are in. If things are so bad that BPDbf feels the need to move out, things should not be "normal" and one or the other of you may want to figure out a way to split sooner. If things are tolerable enough for BPDbf to act "normal" then why is he planning to move out? If he wants to move out and end the relationship, that seems reasonable. If he is moving out but still wants to keep the relationship, what are the issues he wants addressed that the separation will help with and which of them can be addressed now while the two of you are still under one roof?
I'm really glad you found this site. There are tons of resources and the people on here have a wealth of experience and wisdom in pretty much any situation you may find yourself in. That said, I do think it's important to consider having a trained therapist in your toolbox. Even if BPDbf doesn't want to see a therapist or couple's counselor a professional can help you navigate these difficult situations.
BeagleGirl