I am all alone

[joyfully]

After 41 years of a horrible hard marriage I have finally learned I married a man with a false self. I have no means to support myself, so I feel I cannot leave. I feel totally trapped and alone.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[incadove]

That sounds really scary and frustrating.  Is there something you are interested in learning that long term will give you a way to support yourself?    Even if you can't afford to go to college a lot of free courses are available online now, maybe if you try some can you find something you want to pursue?

Good luck it sounds like you're in a bad place right now I hope you can find a way out.

[Feeling Better]

Joyfully, I know how you are feeling, it is hard to come to terms with something like this, but you are not alone, even though it feels right now that you are. Like you I have been married over 40 years and a few years ago I came to realise that my husband and I want different things in life. I thought that we both wanted the same things and was looking forward to our old age together, he had always said he wanted the same things but time has proved that he didn't. I felt that I couldn't leave and I have had to rethink my life and am now getting on with the things I want.
Are you able to do things that don't include your husband? Can you get out and about? If you can manage to do things for you and put yourself and your needs first then maybe your feelings of being trapped will diminish.
I wish you all the luck in the world x

[Mutt]

Hi joyfully,



I'd like to join the others and welcome you. Can you tell us a little more about your H's false sense of self? Does he show BPD traits?