Introducing myself

[Heidilynn62]

I just read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells, and it has been very illuminating.  I have been married to my husband for over 30 years, and have been stymied at every turn trying to figure what is wrong.  I've bounced from thinking he has narcissism, aspergers, childhood trauma, ocpd, stubborness, low emotional intelligence, etc. etc., but this book has made the most sense to me.  He is extremely hypervigilant and sensitive to criticism of any kind, and unable to connect emotionally, except in the most childlike way. He is very self-protective, and emotionally withdrawn and neglectful.   I am very interested in sharing perspectives -- and getting input from others experiencing similar life partnerships. Thank you all!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Auspicious]

 

Welcome!

I had the same "aha" reaction when I first heard about BPD. Suddenly stuff that had made no sense started to make some sense!

The hardest thing after that "aha" was realizing that it wasn't a panacea - it was no guarantee that she would seek treatment, no guarantee that I would know how to handle things she did, etc. I struggled, and still do, to figure out "what can I do differently, since I can't make her do anything differently?"

There is a lot of good material here, and a lot of smart and experienced people here, to help make that shift and start making things better! 

[bananas2]

Welcome! Glad you found us! 

Ditto on the moment of realization after tripping through so many other possible diagnoses! I worked in mental health for many years and had several BPD patients (although all low-functioning and intellectually impaired as well), so I was shocked at myself for not seeing the symptoms right off the bat. Love blinds us sometimes.

Look forward to hearing more from you, & make sure to check out all the great coping skills to the right. >