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Author Topic: Divorcing Narcissistic Wife, BPD-Narcissistic Mom Not Helping  (Read 374 times)
Green Arrow
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2


« on: September 18, 2017, 09:58:57 AM »

Hello,

Just looking to join a support group or team.  I am in my 40's and have dealt with Borderline personality and narcissistic Mother my entire life! I actually detached from her for 6 years, but the soon to be x-wife manipulated it back into our lives and now my x-wife and I should be finished with a 2 year divorce in October (she is a raging covert narcissist herself).  I cant believe I am in this position!  Fairly knowledgeable about what I am dealing with, however my entire family has either passed or I have been detached from due to my Mothers behaviors and damages!  I am trying to raise 2 kids and going through a divorce on my own here in Denver.  Feel like I'm hitting a bottom and need to connect with like minded people who understand the damaging, exhausting, overwhelming effects of BPD on our lives!  I'm here to support too! My Heart goes out too all and anyone reading this, I am here for you in return! Until a response, I am overwhelmed, dazed and confused, sad concerned about my babies! But, I will keep pushing
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HappyChappy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1607



« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2017, 12:04:19 PM »

Hey Green Arrow,

So sorry to hear you had to deal with a Mother and partner both with a PD, that surly would be exhausting. Then all the energy needed to be a single parent, wow. Do you have help with the kids,  because it sounds like you could use a bit of a break ?  Bearing in mind how narcissistic kids can quiet naturally be, it sounds like you may well be surrounded by dependants, so feel free to have a good moan and vent on this forum. We children of BPD tend to be quiet empathetic and like helping others, so go for it.
 
I am in a surprisingly similar situation, however re-connecting with my BPD Mom didn’t last long, back to NC (only I’ve not told her yet).  Is it not possible for you to go NC again with your Mom ?

Also my ex did originally say she wasn’t interested in helping with the kids, now she knows it will effect her financial settlement, she’s back to offering baby sitting services. How’s that all working out with your ex ? Feel free to talk over whatever it is that is giving you that sinking feeling and Welcome to the forum. 

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Wilde.
Panda39
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2017, 12:26:44 PM »

Hi Green Arrow,

I wanted to join HappyChappy and say welcome to the BPD Family too 

It sounds like you have a lot (putting it mildly) going on.  Don't forget to take care of you through all of this.    Step away from things every so often... .Got a movie you've been wanting to see. Go and get 2 hours of escapism. Maybe go get some exercise and sunshine and take a walk... .whatever you like to do, do it for 30minutes. You need to take time to recharge your batteries.

Can you tell us what specifically is your biggest issue at the moment?  Maybe we can talk you through it.

Hang in there,
Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Fie
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 803



« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 03:44:16 PM »

Hello Green Arrow 

Welcome !
You will find a lot of people here who understand because they have been through / are going through the same.
One of those people is me  :-)

In my FOO (family of origin) there is a lot of BPD and NPD. Unfortunately these dynamics have caused me to choose several partners who were unhealthy for me, too. One of them is the father of my daughter. I am a single mum and happy to be out of an emotionally abusive relationship (Looking back I had unhealthy reactions towards his behavior as well).

So please, feel free and post. Any question / venting is fine, a lot of things will be recognizable by a lot of people here.

Again, welcome!
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Woolspinner2000
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2007



« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2017, 09:15:11 PM »

Welcome aboard, Green Arrow

Thank you for joining us and for letting us know your need for help and support! We are family here, very understanding of having a pwBPD in our lives.

My mom was uBPD. The fallout and effects upon the children of a pwBPD, now grown and learning how to walk once again, is amazing. As we put our minds upon the road to healing and understanding, there is a lot of discovery that takes place. Have you had a moment to look at the list to the right hand side of our board? ----->>  That is a great place to start.

What day to day struggles are you having? Are they mostly with your mom or your soon to be ex?

Again, so glad you have joined us!
 
Wools

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There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.  -C.S. Lewis
Green Arrow
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2


« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2017, 06:56:11 AM »

Greetings,
Green Arrow here and I am 2 days away from my day in court with my soon to be former covert narcissistic wife and may need to represent myself (so you could say I'm stressed), while my BPD mother is having a serious BPD episode (we will just stop at that)!  Is it any wonder I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression, this is the story of my life and I left my mother for six years thinking I married the sweetest kindest south American women to get away from all the mental physical abuse I endured with my mother... .only to find out that my new wife has personality disorder!  MY GOD HELP ME!

Actually that's the reason for the post!  I just wanted to say thanks to all for the support! I have been scrambling... .literally. Money, time resources... .

Its game time and I am down on money, I am driving a car that my Mother owns and of course the Martyr she is wants it returned.  I have nowhere else to live except her 8th husbands condo when I was making good money until I was in the middle of this 2 year divorce raising kids!  This is so hard and I wanted you all to know I am with you and will be doing more here after I figure out what the divorce settlement is going to be... .unless my Mom try's to get me into the mental hospital or falsely try's to put me in jail with false accusations... .which she is threatening to do!

Praying and believing for protection and providence! I will be praying the same for all of you suffering!

Thanks for being vulnerable, honest and here!

Warm regards!
Green Arrow
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Kwamina
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3535



« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2017, 01:07:42 PM »

Hi Green Arrow

You certainly got a lot on your plate  This is tough, but I am glad that you are finding the motivation and strength to keep on going.

Many of our members have struggled with (c)PTSD, depression and anxiety so you definitely aren't alone in this. Now that you know what you are dealing with, you at least can take appropriate steps to try and improve your situation.

I hope all goes well in court, well as well as can be of course because being in this situation will likely still be quite unpleasant though no matter the outcome.

Thanks for your kind words and prayers for our membership as you are dealing with your own struggles. I am looking forward to seeing you around on these boards

The Board Parrot
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Oh, give me liberty! For even were paradise my prison, still I should long to leap the crystal walls.
Woolspinner2000
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2007



« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2017, 08:49:04 PM »

Hang in there, Green Arrow!

We'll be thinking of you. Please stay in touch as you are able and let us know how things go for you. Be sure and take care of yourself during this difficult time.

  and care for you.
Wools
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There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.  -C.S. Lewis
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