Smeared Almost 6 Years Later

[OutofTheWoods]

Hey all,

My last post was about a weird message I received from my BPD ex's wife which blew over for a few months... .I just learned from colleagues she (his wife) has said on social media that I was an abuser and suggested I was a narcissist... .it's really unbelievable; it's been almost 6 years he left me and married her. I left them completely alone and have done my best to do NC

 I have felt so conflicted whether to address this or ignore it. Is she being used as his pawn to make me look bad? She and I do not know each other and the only reason I can see for this is he is sending her sideways or she also has some instability going on.

It's so hard to understand and makes it hard to find peace.

What do I do?

[Turkish]

What do you feel your risk is if you do nothing and ignore?

Based upon your previous thread about she contacting you,  she might not be healthy as well,  yes?

[heartandwhole]

Hi OutofTheWoods,

That's so frustrating, I'm sorry. I would recommend ignoring it, if you can. That kind of stuff broadcasts much more about the person writing it, than the person being described.

Do you have a big social media presence, so that it could influence your own contacts?

heartandwhole

[hope2727]

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I know how frustration of wanting to defend yourself but knowing it will only add fuel to the fire. I agree with other posters that ignoring these events is most likely the best approach. I find when I defend myself I just look guilty. It has been pointed out to me that only people of a similar mentality believe that garbage anyhow. If they have an ounce of sense they take stuff like that with a grain of salt. I just try to laugh and hake my head or roll my eyes and let it go. Let us know how you are doing.

[OutofTheWoods]

Thanks everyone, I have been told by most who I confided in not to do anything. I won't respond, but it is hard... .my instinct is to protect and defend - but you are right, it will just fuel it and it could be a trap to make me look bad

I have never been smeared publicy (I'm sure he has been talking smack privately about me since he left) so this is new territory... .the saddest part is how it just never seems to end and they want to keep kicking you down and abusing long after.

[hope2727]

Remember that some things are just not worthy of a response. I don't respond to anything that is not worthy or beneath me. Its really hard but you can do this.