Recently Diagnosed Daughter

[Seashoremom]

My daughter has recently been diagnosed with BPD. We have been estranged for about 8 months. I am in therapy now learning strategies to cope and communicate with her and she is starting DBT therapy. I am hopeful that we can reconnect and have a relationship. Her birthday is next week and I want to send her a card. My therapist said that some words are triggers and I don't want to start out on the wrong foot. Does anyone have a suggestion as to what I can write in the card? Perhaps just the card saying is enough?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JustYouWait]

Welcome, and I feel your pain.  Navigating the landmines of trigger words is a tough row to hoe.

Maybe think about a simple,  "I'm thinking of you on your birthday"?

Good luck.

[Huat]

Hello Seashoremom.  I join JustYouWait in welcoming you to BPD Family.

When it comes to being estranged from a child you so love, many of us here can relate.  Who knew the heart could ache so much?  Who knew?  : ((

In reading your post it seems both of you are on the right track for hopefully a better future.  While your daughter has been given a diagnosis that no one wants to hear, it is a diagnosis and groundwork has been done that will help teach both of you to make life better/workable.  I, for one here, refer to my daughter as uBPD (undiagnosed borderline personality disorder)... .but the tick marks are all there.

You write... ."I am in therapy now learning strategies to cope and communicate with her"... .and... ."she is starting DBT therapy."  Wow!  Needless to say, you both have work ahead of you but what a great start.

One is never quite sure, when dealing with someone who has BPD tendencies what will be the "trigger."  God knows I've been broadsided many times.  I think JustYouWait's suggestion regarding signing the birthday card is pretty generic.  Bottom line, you are letting her know you are still connected to her.

I wish you well, Seashoremom.  I sincerely hope you continue on with us... .letting us know what you are getting out of your therapy and the progress of the relationship with your daughter.  Others so need to hear of that kind of information.

Once again, welcome!

Huat

[Mutt]

Hi Seashoremom,

Welcome, and I feel your pain.  Navigating the landmines of trigger words is a tough row to hoe.

Maybe think about a simple,  "I'm thinking of you on your birthday"?

Good luck.

I think short and sweet is a good idea too.Your T is right pwBPD need a lot of validation. I’d also like to echo Huat that’s good news that both of you are working to repair your r/s.

You’ll find validation and communication tools on the right side of the board   Im glad that you decided to join us it helps to talk.