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Author Topic: BPD Stonewalling and Silent Treatment  (Read 1575 times)
Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned in Feb 2013.
Posts: 10988


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #60 on: February 12, 2016, 01:23:46 AM »

Turkish. I think you need to take a serious step away from the text book.  I have been given the silent treatment for 3 years.  I didn't need a text book to tell me that the silent treatment is wrong.  

After our first short recycle, I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with her again. Despite two kids now, I honestly would like nothing better than to never contact her again, though that's unrealistic in my case. I'm not BPD. That's my right to feel that way.

My T pointed out that my Ex had a right, as an "independent entity" to make her own choices, no matter how unwise or hurtful they were.

BPD aside, can you accept that she is an independent person, free to make her own choices?

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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Jonathan Ricciardi
AKA NC for years
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 110


« Reply #61 on: February 12, 2016, 01:34:17 AM »

Of course I can accept she is an independent person and free to make her own choices.  So  I guess that's it, shut down this site, Turkish has it all figured out, people are allowed to make their own decisions... .what a novel concept.  Well I guess that wraps everything up.  Nothing more to be said, all you folks out there, just remember it has nothing to do with BPD its all just you needing to accept that people have the right to make their own choices.  Wow great insight.
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disillusionedandsore
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« Reply #62 on: February 12, 2016, 02:25:49 AM »

I think the short answer to this is she hates you.
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hurting300
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« Reply #63 on: February 12, 2016, 02:28:40 AM »

Yes they know exactly what they are doing. Think back, did she tell you how she was in not so many words? My ex disappeared without saying anything Laugh out loud (click to insert in post). I remember once she told me she could switch off her emotions and feelings. She also told me she holds a grudge for two or three years then she can speak to them. I wasn't the only man she ghosted. Bpds are known to come backs years later. In my opinion people with this disease are COWARDS. Yes they know what they are doing! Bpd is zero excuse for their actions.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
Jonathan Ricciardi
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« Reply #64 on: February 12, 2016, 07:29:15 AM »

I agree my ex who hasn't had any contact with me in 3 years, I know its over, and yes I have accepted that she hates me.
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Daniell85
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 737


« Reply #65 on: February 12, 2016, 09:28:33 AM »

No. She hates herself.

She knows what she did to you. Every time she looks at you, she knows.

People tell themselves stories of their lives. Her story is she is a great woman. A great woman does not cheat, lie, treat people the way she did you.

We are mirrors to our partners. She doesn't like the mirror you are because it tells her the truth about the story of her life.

A mirror that doesn't reflect reality is one they put in a fun house. That's her house, it's where she lives. It's her life story. She can look into any mirror there and the distorted mirror tells her what she wants to believe.

You see, it's not about you at all. It's about her.

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Jonathan Ricciardi
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« Reply #66 on: February 12, 2016, 09:47:48 AM »

No she hates me.  She doesn't treat everyone the way she did me.

She certainly isn't mirroring me either as I have not seen her in 3 years.  So I know that's not the problem.
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Daniell85
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« Reply #67 on: February 12, 2016, 09:50:40 AM »

No, she isn't mirroring you. When she looks at you, she sees what she did. It reflects back to her. It's all she sees. It's always easier to project onto someone else instead of taking responsibility.
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Jonathan Ricciardi
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« Reply #68 on: February 12, 2016, 09:52:37 AM »

I repeat I have not seen her in 3 year, she is by no means mirroring me. 
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