BPD Stonewalling and Silent Treatment

[Turkish]

Turkish. I think you need to take a serious step away from the text book.  I have been given the silent treatment for 3 years.  I didn't need a text book to tell me that the silent treatment is wrong.  

After our first short recycle, I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with her again. Despite two kids now, I honestly would like nothing better than to never contact her again, though that's unrealistic in my case. I'm not BPD. That's my right to feel that way.

My T pointed out that my Ex had a right, as an "independent entity" to make her own choices, no matter how unwise or hurtful they were.

BPD aside, can you accept that she is an independent person, free to make her own choices?

[Jonathan Ricciardi]

Of course I can accept she is an independent person and free to make her own choices.  So  I guess that's it, shut down this site, Turkish has it all figured out, people are allowed to make their own decisions... .what a novel concept.  Well I guess that wraps everything up.  Nothing more to be said, all you folks out there, just remember it has nothing to do with BPD its all just you needing to accept that people have the right to make their own choices.  Wow great insight.

[disillusionedandsore]

I think the short answer to this is she hates you.

[hurting300]

Yes they know exactly what they are doing. Think back, did she tell you how she was in not so many words? My ex disappeared without saying anything . I remember once she told me she could switch off her emotions and feelings. She also told me she holds a grudge for two or three years then she can speak to them. I wasn't the only man she ghosted. Bpds are known to come backs years later. In my opinion people with this disease are COWARDS. Yes they know what they are doing! Bpd is zero excuse for their actions.

[Jonathan Ricciardi]

I agree my ex who hasn't had any contact with me in 3 years, I know its over, and yes I have accepted that she hates me.

[Daniell85]

No. She hates herself.

She knows what she did to you. Every time she looks at you, she knows.

People tell themselves stories of their lives. Her story is she is a great woman. A great woman does not cheat, lie, treat people the way she did you.

We are mirrors to our partners. She doesn't like the mirror you are because it tells her the truth about the story of her life.

A mirror that doesn't reflect reality is one they put in a fun house. That's her house, it's where she lives. It's her life story. She can look into any mirror there and the distorted mirror tells her what she wants to believe.

You see, it's not about you at all. It's about her.

[Jonathan Ricciardi]

No she hates me.  She doesn't treat everyone the way she did me.

She certainly isn't mirroring me either as I have not seen her in 3 years.  So I know that's not the problem.

[Daniell85]

No, she isn't mirroring you. When she looks at you, she sees what she did. It reflects back to her. It's all she sees. It's always easier to project onto someone else instead of taking responsibility.

[Jonathan Ricciardi]

I repeat I have not seen her in 3 year, she is by no means mirroring me.