Another music thread. Is there a song that describes your “Dance”?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=euy4A5niG8Q

This one was sent to me by a good friend a couple of months ago. It hits home. How do you interpret it?

[JNChell]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=euy4A5niG8Q

This one was sent to me by a good friend a couple of months ago. It hits home. How do you interpret it?

[stixx44]

Ok, I’ll add one that I used to think applied when we were actually together.

https://youtu.be/2PM8jzeFmqI

[CryWolf]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI1ondD4FGU

hope you enjoy the video

Its beautifully created and i feel like it resonates so well with me.

[CryWolf]

Also this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOUSIbOYR5Y

[The Cat in d Hat]

It’s hard for me to pick a song for the dance, as in a way there was no dance at all. There was just this song when she abruptly went NC and when I finally put things together:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jvTa6ldOzsE

There are few others but I’m done processing and it’s all behind now.

[Sirnut]

This is not so much about the Dance, but more about what it means to lose that special relationship 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLg-jS7VWuFqeV4mXI265tW0Paff7pxWG6&params=OAFIAVgp&v=DtyHvjTJK1E&mode=NORMAL

[JNChell]

Sirnut, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Graham Parsons covered and recorded that song.

[JNChell]

Sirnut.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SvHn99dwGmE

[JNChell]

stixx44, Hi!
I hear parts of that song loud and clear. Over and over being the meat and potatoes. Don’t hesitate to post another if you’re compelled.

[JNChell]

CryWolf, thanks for posting. What is it about that song/video that you identify with?

[JNChell]

Hey The Cat in d Hat!
I can relate to wanting to turn her back into a stranger. The reality is, that that’s not reality, bro. I enjoyed the instrumental break in that song.

[JNChell]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SvHn99dwGmE

[JNChell]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H49obsV6oZ0

[stixx44]

JNChell,

Ok... .I’m compelled... .

Here is a song that SHE sent me a scant two weeks ago:

https://youtu.be/ERirtprLkPU

Stixx44

[I Am Redeemed]

https://youtu.be/9uUfF1tkbns

This pretty much sums it up

Redeemed

[JNChell]

stixx44, I’m sorry.   That had to be bitter. Am I correct in remembering that that was the last communication that you had from her?

[JNChell]

I Am Redeemed ! When I was trying to sleep last night, I was trying to put a song around “roping the wind”.

Maybe all of us can start a song here? For real. Whoever is up for it, whoever is willing to start it, let’s write a song.

[stixx44]

JN,

Yes.  In the same text she said she was a fool and she waited so long for me.

I just let it go.

[CryWolf]

CryWolf, thanks for posting. What is it about that song/video that you identify with?

First song I heard when we started dating. I didnt know about her BPD and didnt know if she was playing me or what by everything. She did lie to me about certain things when we met, but i also think she may have been splitting. The video also shows a girl that is confused, lost trying to fight her demons and stray away from them. @46 seconds the music starts to downtempo and its like our partner starts splitting and the mood/feelings all change into despair and hurt they are feeling.

Second song lyrics:
"For each forgotten kiss,
For all the memories,
For all the times a look,
Said all we had to say,
You played your part so well,
A modern Romeo,
You came on Cupids wings,
And then you flew away,
When you touched my face
When you call my name
I'm burned with desire
But you left me in the rain
For every sleepless night,
Forever in your arms,
For every hour spent,
Lost in the reverie,
You broke your promises,
No shame and no regrets,
You burned the bridges too,
An endless mystery.
When you touched my face
When you call my name
I'm burned with desire
But you left me in the rain"


I feel a lot of us dealing with BPD partners that are detaching can relate to these lyrics.

[The Cat in d Hat]

Hey The Cat in d Hat!
I can relate to wanting to turn her back into a stranger. The reality is, that that’s not reality, bro. I enjoyed the instrumental break in that song.

I’m glad that’s the line you picked up. You’re right, WE can’t make them strangers. However, take a guess who can make us strangers and just walk away... .

This one more reflected back when she said screw it, then came back, then screw it, then back again, then screw it, then finally discarded and disappeared. One of my generally favorite songs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mWQIOBhwonc

[Sirnut]

Thanks JNChell

Here’s the earliest version of Last Thing on my Mind that I could find, originally by Tom Paxton. Somehow it seems to capture what I’ve just experienced some decades after the song was recorded ...

Are you going away with no word of farewell
Will there be not a trace left behind
I could have loved you better, didn’t mean to be unkind
Oh you know that was the last thing on my mind

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=voqL5ksOuoo

[kfry2679]

When I heard this after she ghosted me, it made me laugh (because it's absurd), but it also fits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbgT70vuyAQ

[Gunit1]

https://youtu.be/0_Yhnu3MBeE

[JNChell]

Thank you, Sirnut!

[JNChell]

Gunit! Thanks for the post.  I’m a musician. I lean towards Southern fried genres when it comes to my playing. I don’t care much for rap, but there are a couple that I like a lot. Eminem is one of them. He is quite controversial, but I “hear” a lot of what he says. I appreciate a lot of his lyrics.

[JNChell]

Hey, kfry2679! It’s been ages since I’ve heard that song! Takes me back. My ex and pretty much every female in her family are man haters. I’m not generalizing anything here. It’s just that men were the cause of all of their problems. Guess what? She disclosed this on our second date in so many words. I still pursued. There is no one to look at but me. Thanks for the song!

[JNChell]

I’d beg, steal and borrow
I’m so damn good at sorrow
And you don’t care enough for me to cry

This is the last verse to the song I posted. The whole song rings true, but the end is the nutshell. I was very good at sorrow. This is part of what attracted my ex to me, and me to her. We bonded over unhealthy aspects of our lives. The aspects that we bonded over were intense, and that intensity came with us. We didn’t even realize what was happening.

[kfry2679]

Hey, kfry2679! It’s been ages since I’ve heard that song! Takes me back. My ex and pretty much every female in her family are man haters. I’m not generalizing anything here. It’s just that men were the cause of all of their problems. Guess what? She disclosed this on our second date in so many words. I still pursued. There is no one to look at but me. Thanks for the song!

I'm glad you appreciated it! I am a person who tries to find the humor in things as soon as possible, but my goodness has she made it hard. That song really helped.

And yes, mine told me openly in our second or third conversation that "When something hurts too much, I just avoid it or stop talking to them." Oh. Okay. Let me stay with you for a year anyway.

[kfry2679]

Also this one, lyrically, is just amazing. And it's not too well known. It's called "The Mason" by Jake Scott and fits in really nicely when trying to "forgive yourself" for a BPDx.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO0DQXa4PVo

[JNChell]

Holy crap, kfry2679! That is the theme song for this! He definitely gets it. Thank you for the song.