He is charming and sweet to literally everyone else in his life

[DorothyGale]

Just following the instructions to post an introduction.

Boyfriend and I have been living together for 15 years (next month) and while he has only been formally diagnosed with ADHD, porn addiction, and bi-polar disorder, I would place large amounts of money on a bet that his main issue is BPD. Explosive anger, small breaks from reality, fear of abandonment that causes him to hurt people before they can [supposedly] hurt him, etc.

I'm 51 and just freaking tired of living in Crazy Town and getting yelled at for nothing and blamed for everything. We co-own a small business, so I've gone back to school to get a degree that will net me gainful employment and my own income stream in preparation of kicking him out of my house.

Right now he's on board with the possibility of BPD, and even looked up a therapist and set an appt, but we've gone through the same thing with each of his other diagnoses and he always slides right back to his usual behavior within a matter of weeks (if not days).

He is, of course, charming and sweet to literally everyone else in his life (tho, beware random stranger who cuts him off in traffic or makes him wait through an extra red light cycle; he will literally get out of his car and yell at them through their driver's side window). I'm looking forward to interacting with a group of people who "get it".

Thanks,
DorothyGale

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

 

You are in the right place!  Sorry you are having a rough time.

Share more about your situation, do you have tools to stop making things worse.  There is so much to learn here.

Keep reading here and posting more about what you want, what you are willing to do.

Best,  juju

[Mutt]

Hi DorothyGale,



I’d like to join juju2 and welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m glad that you have found us there is hope.

Good for you for going to school to get a degree I can understand how difficult BPD behaviours would be if you co-owned a business and lived together.

Maybe they didn’t misdiagnose him on purpose, some doctors will diagnose BiP for insurances purposes or they don’t want to make the patient worse because BPD is known to be difficult to treat and has a heavy stigma attached to it.

Aside from therapy what other issues are you having?

[Lalathegreat]

 

Welcome to the family! I think most of us can relate to what you've written. I have recieved a tremendous amount of support here and am sure you will find the same.

I look forward to getting to know you better and supporting you on your journey wherever that may lead.

Lala