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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Poll
Question: What are the chances of an engaged BPD to return to ex bf?
100% - 1 (9.1%)
75% - 2 (18.2%)
50% - 5 (45.5%)
0% - 3 (27.3%)
Total Voters: 11

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Author Topic: What are the chances of an engaged BPD to return?  (Read 1990 times)
Struggler123
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 285


« Reply #30 on: May 12, 2018, 12:41:11 AM »

i mean in general, not just with exes. you say you are "people pleaser". that has a certain connotation for accommodating others at the expense of oneself.

codependency is much bigger than being a doormat or not being able to say no.

have a read through of our article here, see if any of it (it probably wont all) hits home: https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships


I mean I try not to let anyone down, and at times I do end up putting their needs at the expense of mine. Some stuff does hit home I must admit, but for the most part I just feel like the same way a NPD and a BPD is a bad combo, so is a people pleaser + BPd, i have been working on putting my needs first but its a struggle. At times I do feel guilty for ignoring her but, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to her and then the feelings come back and I dont want to be mean to her. I tend to isolate myself from conflicts; and its worked for me. Thoughts?
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12761



« Reply #31 on: May 13, 2018, 06:44:57 AM »

I tend to isolate myself from conflicts; and its worked for me.

how so?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Struggler123
****
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 285


« Reply #32 on: May 13, 2018, 04:40:21 PM »

how so?

For example, if my Ex wouls get mad at me, I would listen to her and once she was done, go out to exercise for a few minutes and then when I got back call her back. If there was a demand that I couldn’t fulfill, rather than argue with her and justify it I would just say okay lets see and then take it step by step. I would never lose my composure, even in other case scenarios in which a fight or argument would ensue I would pick the easiest and noble way out. I’m not saying I dont make mistakes I do, but I try not repeat them, a friend for the longest time thought I was talking to his gf, and in a group he said somethings but rather confront him I just stayed put until he spoke to me himself and realized that it wasnt true. I like to let people figure things out instead of having to justify myself because no one wants to listen to explanations when they are in their own mindset, I thought that would work with BPD as well but it was given as a sign of not caring enough and that nothing matters to me
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