Big set back in communication since meet up/new girlfriend

[Radcliff]

It sounds like sometimes you are not quick to get back to your ex because you are busy, and sometimes he is not quick to get back to you because he is busy.  Each of you sometimes may think the other one is being passive aggressive.  He owns what he thinks.  You can be honest with him that you were just busy, and if he worries or feels hurt, you can't change that.  Likewise, you own how you think.  I believe it's very tough to tell what's going on on the other side.  I know I've thought my pwBPD was ignoring me to be manipulative or uncaring, and I later found out that she was just busy, for real.  The thing about a friendship is that it's appropriate for there to be lower expectations than in a romance.  It's OK for people to be busy.  The friendship should not be stressful, and managing our own expectations and reactions is key.

About telling him about the other guy... .you've been broken up for a year.  I can understand reluctance and not wanting to hurt his feelings, though.  One thought would be to wait a while and see how things go with the other guy.  Might another possibility be to slowly introduce the other guy into your social media so that it's out there, but not as direct as telling your ex?

Finally, about the new guy.  You don't want to talk about him, but you see several red flags.  If we see the red flags and do the same thing we did last time, we're not going to end up in a better place.  It's your call, but let me invite you to share with us about the red flags you're seeing.

RC

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[FaithfulInLove]

Hello Radcliff and thank you for your thoughtful answer, as I've opened a new post two days ago (which you had also replied to), I will answer you there, because the information there are more up to date.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=330409.0

As you can read here, I have already told him by now. I told him because I didn't wanna hurt his trust further and I remember how much it hurt me when he never said anything but "Ohh I have new girlfriend since yesterday"... .I think shock news are more hurtful than preparing someone... .And I really hope he will stop me from letting this become serious... .

[Harri]

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