How can I encourage my BPD husband to balance between work and home

[Familylove88]

My husband is occupied with so much work that isn't even fair to take on from the company that abuses him. I have a young infant who only relies on me. I'm burning out on all works from baby and home. I need more support from my BPD husband.
He kept failing on balancing out between work and home. He justifies why he has to work so hard even though it is not even fair for him to take on all that work at his job.
I asked him to leave that job long ago. He made an argument that he has been already preoccupied with all work from work and home, so he can't have time to look for another job. In my eyes, he is all day on the couch at home. I'm going back to work soon. I'm so afraid that I will explode and my marriage will be at risk. We started arguing way too often since the baby was born. We didn't have problem before baby was born, I think it was because I gave him all controls. I can't give him all controls over decision-making now because it is sometimes inappropriate for baby. Then we started having a problem. Anyway... my husband thinks in black and white theory all the times. He seems to fail finding balance between work and home. Before baby was born, i occupied myself with work also, so we didnt have that much problem. Now we have a baby, I need him to play a role as a father who my baby will look up to. He is too tired to perform that at home because of work. He asks for my help. I feel so overwhelmed that I can't even help him anymore... .Help...

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[once removed]

things can get especially tense and stressful with a newborn.

He justifies why he has to work so hard

what does he say?

[Vincenta]

Dear Familylove88,

and very welcome on the board!  :hi:Very good that you found us and hope this site could help you.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Must be hard to feel being somewhat left alone with your baby.   

Do you have family nearby, or friends? How does your typical day look like?
How old is your baby?

Has your SO been diagnosed? Is he in therapy?

[Mutt]

Hi Familylove88,



I agree with once removed babies demand a lot of attention and it can make you feel depressed and burnt out. I also agree with Vincenta donyiu hage family or friends that could give you a break? It’s not good that your H is just going to work and home that’s the impression that I get with the information that you gave us. It’s also not good for you to just take care of the baby all of the time you both need a a break and do things that you enjoy. You need to take care of yourselves.

It helps to talk to others Familylove88 Can you tell us more?