MOD NOTE: this thread is a continuation of this discussion https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=334351.0;allJNChell & Notwendy
Thank you for saying I’m doing good to keep my distance from my son’s situation. I appreciate getting feedback to know I’m doing the right thing. JNChell- Yes, I did ask him and he just said it’s not his thing, but he’d think about it. He knows I’ve learned a lot from it and he knows it’s helped to calm me. I tell him how to go about talking with my son and he says it helps a lot.
My son opens up more when I give him pointers, because this situation is so delicate we don’t want to push too much. His best friend gets upset when he hears the stuff my son tells him. My son’s wife gets physically abusive and that really upsets his best friend. Doesn’t do me any good either, but I keep telling him that he has to see it for himself. My son has to realize it for himself and see it for what it is.
So I help the best friend a lot too by what I learn in here, because, I can’t talk to my son about any of this. He doesn’t know that I or his family knows anything. I’ve told the best friend “just keep your cool like you have been so that he’ll feel comfortable opening up and this will help allow my son to hear himself letting all this out.” Sometimes it takes hearing yourself saying stuff out loud to someone to make it finally sink in. Hey I’m in a bad situation and I need to get out.
I pray for the day my son comes to me with this, because that’s when I will tell him exactly what he has to do to get out. When the day comes that my son either comes to me or his dad for help to get out of this marriage. That’s when I will be able to help my son see not only does he need to for himself and his own sanity but also for his daughter.