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Author Topic: Ex cut out all mutual friends from her life...  (Read 111 times)
incognitoMe

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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Posts: 45


« on: September 18, 2019, 09:22:19 AM »


I was contacted by a couple mutual friends of my ex, and they were concerned about her mental health.  My ex told them she was not going to be friends with anybody associated with me and was cutting them out of her life.  They were heartbroken, confused, and looking for if I knew anything about her mental health situation.  They were as much her friends as mine.  One of them was her friend first and I had become friends with through her.  She raged at both with some cruelty paranoid nonsense.

I filled them in on her BPD, and how abusive she had been, and how I tried and failed to get her into treatment.  She of course tried to convince them I was abusive, but her erratic and cruel behavior towards them thankfully helped them realize it was not the case.  She has contacted my entire professional network with this stuff. Its disconcerting, but I'm thankful she is out of my life.

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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Posts: 5728


« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2019, 02:46:48 PM »

Hey incog, Sad to say, those w/BPD have a facility for shooting themselves in the foot, and it sounds like your Ex has done that with your mutual friends.  I'm glad to hear that your friends reached out to you to find out what is going on with your Ex, which to me means that they respect you.  When my Ex and I parted ways, most of our mutual friends lacked the guts/courtesy to touch base with me about misinformation coming from her.  So what?  I let it go and found out who my real friends are.

LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
incognitoMe

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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Posts: 45


« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2019, 07:27:11 AM »

Hey incog, Sad to say, those w/BPD have a facility for shooting themselves in the foot, and it sounds like your Ex has done that with your mutual friends.  I'm glad to hear that your friends reached out to you to find out what is going on with your Ex, which to me means that they respect you.  When my Ex and I parted ways, most of our mutual friends lacked the guts/courtesy to touch base with me about misinformation coming from her.  So what?  I let it go and found out who my real friends are.

LuckyJim

Thanks for the encouragement!  Things could be much worse.  I'm trying to focus on gratitude.
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Posts: 5728


« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2019, 10:19:25 AM »

Hey Incog, Right, suggest you practice gratitude for getting out of an unhealthy r/s.  Many people are afraid of change, with good reason, yet in my experience change leads to greater happiness, which is what it's all about, right?

LJ
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
hmf2234

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Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Posts: 26


« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2019, 12:36:30 PM »

My ex pulled the same maneuver. She has blocked all of my friends as pretty much all my friends automatically became her friends when she initially forced herself into my life when she moved in just 3 months after we met.

They were all baffled by this because all my friends absolutely loved her, she was a very social butterfly and a very likable person. Friends and family couldn't say single bad thing about her so when she literally cut everyone off they were surprised that she pulled such a move. I guess this is just what they do.
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