Here’s a workshop on
Boundaries .
It’s good that you’re seeing what triggers your husband’s dysregulations. Learning how to skillfully navigate a relationship with a pwBPD is like learning a foreign language. It’s a lot of work at the beginning. But with studying, it becomes intuitive and much easier to converse in BPDland.
It’s frustrating because as nons, we have to make the effort to do this without expecting them to do their part. But over time our relationships often get better and it’s likely that your husband will be more cooperative and willing to be a good partner.
It’s good that he’s doing therapy and there’s no point in you being involved in his therapy. Typically marital counseling doesn’t go well when one of the partners is a pwBPD.
I’m going to move your post to the Bettering Board. You will learn strategies there to keep the peace, calm things down, and how to improve your boundaries.