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Author Topic: Interesting Fight today...  (Read 349 times)
flyguy

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 21


« on: May 21, 2020, 08:36:41 PM »

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So today has been an interesting day. Our neighbor put in a small garden fountain that my BPD wife's OCD is doing backflips over. All that I've heard for the last 3 days is how ugly it is (tears, screaming, hitting the car dash board while I'm driving, etc). I've done my best to be patient and listen to her, but today I had enough. I told her that I wanted to have a nice afternoon without talking about our neighbor's fountain. Could we talk about something else?

After I said that, she demanded that we go purchase new trees/shrubs to make a privacy barrier between us and the neighbor. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable doing that right now until I knew more about what she was planning to do (which led to her screaming that I don't care about her, I was controlling, don't love her, etc).

I turned the car around and went home after telling her that I did not want to be in this toxic environment the entire day. I told her I would discuss it with her later, once things had calmed down. Instead, she insisted that she was going to do what she wanted to do, regardless of what I said. She took my credit card and said she was going to the garden center to purchase whatever she wanted. I never restrained her, but DID put a lock on my credit card just in case.

An hour later, I get a call asking why the card doesn't work. I asked her what she was buying and she said a sandwich. I told her I had locked the card after she threatened to buy a bunch of things without discussing anything with me. *click*

Obviously, I would have unlocked the card for her to get food, but didn't want any astronomical landscape charges on our card. She has only texted me today, saying she is "extremely hurt" and that I am "controlling and manipulating money." She also said she is "really hurt by my actions and will probably leave."

Such an emotional roller coaster all the time.
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Diddle
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 74


« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2020, 06:20:37 PM »

Hey
I know this argument, this sounds like my “every weekend” argument my bpdhusband brings up everytime our neighbour does something he doesn’t like.
Somehow i end being the bag person. I feel your frustration, and feel the need to remind you that i know just how you feel
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rjn_88

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: wife
Posts: 5


« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2020, 08:19:14 PM »

My wife also has BPD and it can be really frustrating how she can go from being all peaches and cream happy to freaking out over the amount of dust on the ground. Truly she can be a really go with the flow person and one of the most patient people I've ever met but due to her BPD when that flip happens it can be an absolute PLEASE READ storm that ends up making you question your worth. On top of that she has a brain injury that effects her memory so she will get angry and yell about how I left a beer half full and then convincingly "forget" so many of the things in her tantrum. It's hard but what i've found is self soothing and reminding yourself that she also has little control over some of these tantrums can make it tolerable. I just fear that I'm going to let it get too far and she will be so angry that she takes it out on me physically. I've seen her take it out on me emotionally.
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