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Author Topic: BPD Boyfriend broke up with me Part 2  (Read 706 times)
Flightfar
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« on: July 20, 2020, 05:42:40 AM »

This thread was split from this discussion: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=345340.new#new

Thank you guys for your support. This place is my savior

Although I'm still in this fog because of my feelings towards him and it feels horrible to lose a close relationship to this disorder, I've thought how f*cked up and unhealthy that relationship has been (despite the good times)

My ex has been mirroring his own insecurities and weaknesses to me throughout the relationship. I have been accused of everything bad and I even believed them.

For example:

- I never got to show my negative feelings from anything at all, because then I heard ''Why do you always had to make drama?'' (I myself suffer from depression and anxiety and it has been VERY difficult to not show the negative emotions)
- When he was the one who caused drama and showed his ''crazy'' side, then I was suddenly the crazy one and he tells his friends and family how crazy I am
- I was accused of sex addiction on the few occasions I took the initiative to have sex, even though he was the more sexual being of us and he has had more sex partners than I have, he also got angry with me if I didn't want to have sex
- He said he cannot trust me, when he has not even been able to trust himself
- He has accused me of cheating him (even though I haven't)
- And endless walking on eggshells

I wonder how can I recover from all this... That panic attack really scared me.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2020, 08:06:36 PM by I Am Redeemed, Reason: added link to OP from which this thread was split » Logged
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Pakichu

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« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2020, 03:30:00 AM »

That must be a tough situation for you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some of them are very good at manipulating others. Even though my ex wasn't manipulating, but he did successfully manipulated me in to thinking that it was all my fault, where my actions were the results of his behaviour.
You know the funny thing is, despite all these, I just know I'll get back to him if he just says sorry. I've been reading all these motivational stuff and I do feel motivated for a while to build myself, but in one corner of the mind I just know this will all go to waste if he ever shows up. I'm that weak for him and that desperate tbh. But of course I would respect someone more if they can just let it go and never look back.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2020, 04:21:07 AM »

Yep, they can't stand facing their problems and actions, it's so easy to mirror it all to us. That's some kind of protection mechanism, I guess. My ex was very good at manipulating me such a feeling, that I am to blame for everything and that I am the crazy one. Although the reality was something completely different. Even now he must be blaming me for everything and living his life happily.

Good, however, that even for a while you will be able to feeling motivated and strong! I know it's not really easy to let go just like that... :/ I too feel very weak and desperate but I have been strengthened to some extent by reading all the motivational stuff and when I realized that there was nothing wrong with me, on the contrary, I was better girlfriend to him than anyone else could have been. But it still feels very sh*t how mental health problems destroy relationships. And I still miss him and feel very sorry for him.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2020, 11:09:37 AM »

As my ex's sister is still on my friend list, today I saw her posting fancy food and the caption was Lava( my ex) is pampering us. This made me so mad idk why. I mean what am I even doing crying over him. He's out there doing what he does
Ugghhh. Even though I have been productive than before. Still made me pissed.
Anyway, hey can you suggest some of the motivational stuff that helped you? Really need it for myself.
I've been trying to keep myself busy by doing free courses and I'm also thinking about learning a new language ( preferably German).
As for me, I'm reading '12 rules for life' by Jordan Peterson now. You might give it a try if you want. He's my personal favourite.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2020, 11:42:31 AM »

I can only imagine the feeling. I'm actually glad that my ex isn't in social media, it would make everything worse if I saw photos of him or something.

I only have read texts such as ''Surviving a BPD breakup'' and all kinds of self-help guides and books. I try my best to develop myself. Of course in the future I will definitely recommend something! Can't even tell how much internet and books help in times like these.

I am glad that you have kept yourself busy and focused on yourself! I myself have started running, it definitely helps.

Thanks for the recommendation, that sounds interesting, I'll go see that right away Smiling (click to insert in post)

Btw, sorry if there are typos in my texts, English is not my native language.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2020, 03:45:30 AM »

Haha I don't know what made you say the last line, but English is not my native language either. Also, I didn't find any typos so far. So I guess you're just good at it
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« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2020, 04:12:32 AM »

youre where i was when i came here nearly ten years ago.

somewhere in the middle between grieving and trying to reconcile the relationship.

right now, you are primarily venting your frustrations. an understandable thing to do in a powerless situation; one that will help if you want to detach, but one that will obscure things if you want to reconcile.

the important thing, if you want to reconcile, is to undergo the major task of understanding what went wrong in the relationship, and how, if you were to reconcile, its going to change.

and in order to do that, you have to go into this with eyes wide open. understand that bpd traits are not mere episodes. they are a world view, and a personality style.

what happened between the two of you was less out of the blue, but more a culmination of things that had been boiling under the surface between the two of you...some more obvious, some less, likely some of it not visible at all.

there may not be a great deal you can do right now. youve reached out. hes responded with vitriol, or not at all. i would continue to lay low. i would continue to explore what broke the two of you down and how, if possible, its going to be reconciled when im feeling strong, and the unfairness of it all when im having a hard time.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2020, 02:37:08 AM »

I think the biggest problem in our relationship was the lack of communication. My ex was not the talking type. He couldn’t talk about his feelings. He certainly couldn’t open up to me because of his traumas. Everytime I tried to get him to talk, I got the answer ''It's useless to talk'' or just ''I don't want to talk''.

But at one point I got frustrated and asked him ''Why do I feel like you're going further away from me and you're not talking to me about anything?''. He got angry with me and said once again ''Why do you always have to make drama?''. Then he blocked me again everywhere. Before that happened, he said everything like ''Go and find someone else'' and said he would never want to see me again. Then he came back after couple of days saying that is he making the worst mistake of his life by letting me go and hasn't thought at all sensibly and has panicked when not knowing what to do.

A couple of weeks after that incident, everything clearly escalated and he dissipated all his frustrations at me and has now disappeared from my life.

When he himself wanted to talk about his feelings then I was so happy that I cried. He was also able to admit that he has problems and needs treatment.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2020, 10:36:55 AM »

From the things you just mentioned, I think your boyfriend had quiet bpd. My ex has quiet bpd too. The last few months were awful. He kept detaching from me. But I tried to give him space, sometimes didn't even talk for an entire day. Idk what went in his mind at that time. Even the first time we broke up after him not talking for hours thinking a lot of things in his head by himself. If feels bad that even though we were together in this relationship, but still he was always the one who chose if we stay together or not. If he decided we shouldn't stay together, then I had no voice there, because of course he wasn't the talking type and wouldn't respond to me.

You know I'm a great stalker and I have this fake account from where I stalk him so often. So there's this singer that I love and we went to his concerts together. Then he started to like him too. Anyway, there's this particular song that we both heard for the first time sung by the singer in one of his concerts. We both loved it so much that we called it 'our song'. Today, I saw a post where the singer posts a video telling his fans to comment what song they wanna hear from him and my ex replied mentioning the song's name in capital letters. Idk what was that. But it made me feel good for a while, but then after a while I felt like he might have even forgotten the value of this song and it's that normal to him now. He might even be able to listen to that song where I can't even think of hearing that song again because of course there are a lot sweet memories attached to it. Ugh I might be just overthinking. Idk.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2020, 04:11:41 AM »

I think so too. He kept things inside until they exploded. His emotional reactions were really strong and he was really furious with me. I think he had so much frustration under the surface that a couple of months ago all this escalated. I don't know how this situation can be fixed when he's not responding to my messages. He has occasionally unblocked me on Whatsapp? But now I haven’t sent a message to him there in a long time...

I also felt like he was detaching from me in the last few months and when I told what I felt about that, he got angry with me and began to question my reality. But of course he had those moments when he swore his love and said he would never want to lose me. So I was the love of his life and now I feel like I am his worst enemy? I don't know what to think about anything...

When I last saw him, he suddenly got a scene and said he didn’t feel anything about anything. I became worried and tried to comfort him. He didn't let me touch him. He said I must not come near because he gets anxious? I was almost out of my mind when I didn’t know what was going on. I asked if this was due to me. He said, however, that our relationship will be ruined at some point and said I was going to cheat him. I said I could never hurt him and he replied ''Everybody says so''. We started sleeping and he went further away from me. But in the morning he slept next to me and hugged me and it was as if nothing had happened. There are several of these cases from the time of our relationship.

Pakichu, that sounds pretty bad that you two didn’t even talk anything all day. You too have been treated really unfairly... But what the heck does that mean? Somehow sounds like he would play with you? I'm afraid my ex has completely forgotten me. You become so angry and sad when you don’t know what’s in their head... Did your boyfriend get rage attacks? What was the reason he broke up with you? How did it happen?
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Pakichu

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« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2020, 01:25:45 PM »

Update: My boyfriend unblocked me from zoom yesterday and sent me a contact request. After accepting I saw him online but he didn't send me any messages. I was kinda sure he wanted hurt me somehow and maybe he sent me request to tell me that he's returning the book and mobile phone he had borrowed from me. Anyway I knocked him telling, 'Hey. Do you want to tell me something?'. He replied after hours saying hey. I was unsure what was going on so I tried make him feel comfortable by telling I've got two birds now. Then he began talking to me. He wrote this poem ( My mind blown away) which was so beautiful. I never thought he had this talent. Anyway he wanted to call and I said ok. After talking about normal stuff for a while he said he's sorry and wants to get back. So he unblocked me from all social media accounts. I was happy tbh and still kinda am but he seemed a bit distant. Today he didn't talk that much with me and started giving me short replies. Idk why but I feel like he feels that he made a mistake. I just don't wanna get hurt again. I'm so so scared. We didn't even talk over the phone today. I messaged him to call me if he's free but he didn't. Idk what's going on anymore. Ugh

What's up with you? How are doing?
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Flightfar
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« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2020, 01:58:45 PM »

Not surprised that something would happen in your case. It has happened to me the same way that my boyfriend became cold and distant after we got back together. He then responded very briefly and it took a long time to respond. A couple of weeks later he then left me again and it’s now been over a couple of months. I’m afraid for you that you’ll get hurt again when that sounds like it. Sounds like he just wanted attention and wanted to see if you were still willing to come back together...

I sometimes do better, sometimes worse. I miss my boyfriend and feel very bad if he has forgotten me and doesn’t miss us at all. So I feel lonely. And sad. And angry. The carpet is suddenly pulled under foot. I haven’t been able to enjoy summer much, which is very unfortunate because I was waiting for the summer so much... I was expecting to meet new people, travel and enjoy things but my energy has been taken away completely.

His words and actions still hurt me and I wonder how he can go on with his life after behaving like a demon from hell. I'm still waiting for some contact in the autumn... At least an apology... I don't know how he could "hate" me forever. I feel like a couple of months ago he just got triggered more of it when I tried to talk to him calmly and comfort and help. I think it just made things worse. And also when I informed his mother that I'm worried about his son and I fear that he will do something for himself. But what else could I have done when I was really worried about his mental health? I just hope he understands seeking help for himself...
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Flightfar
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« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2020, 04:54:13 AM »

I'm wondering that the angrier BPD person is, so are the possibilities the smaller that he would come back?
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Pakichu

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« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2020, 07:03:04 AM »

I get where you're coming from. But one person CANNOT define who you are. His words might still hurt and that's normal but you have to know yourself your self worth isn't in the hands of one person. If he can be a monster and go on with his life, you should too. I know I, myself went back to the relationship but now I feel kinda low; I'm questioning my self worth because I let him in in my life just like that. An apology was enough for me to do that. It should've not been like that. I should at least have asked him what the hell did happen and how could he possibly do that if he does love me. But I didn't do any of it because of the fear of losing him. I'm thinking of bringing the question but in person. I'll try to meet him in 3-4 days. Let's see where it takes us. This situation made me much much stronger.
Btw did you question your boyfriend when he came back after breakup? If you did, how did it go?
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Pakichu

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« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2020, 07:05:13 AM »

Also, I don't think being angry has as much effect to it as splitting someone black. Most of the people with bpd who split on the other person completely usually lose feelings for the other person.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #15 on: July 28, 2020, 07:27:51 AM »

It feels just awful when the person you love suddenly turns into a monster and loses his feelings for you. My ex is fundamentally very sensitive, empathetic and emotional so I don't know, I think this all is going to hit him very hard... I really don't know what to except...

I then asked my ex why he was furious and blocked me everywhere etc. He replied that the state of mind made him question everything and then he did not want to talk about it and after that he became really cold and distant. I think it might just trigger your boyfriend too, I don’t know.

What would cause splitting white? Is it true that the kinder you are to them after a discard, the angrier they become?
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Flightfar
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« Reply #16 on: July 28, 2020, 08:18:40 AM »

Funny when I could imagine him coming back as if nothing had happened. We have sometimes had small disagreements and he has come back then, for example, in a day or two praising me. But if I've mentioned the disagreement, he's mad at me again and becomes very cold.

But this time is quite different as this has taken a really long time and last time he was incomprehensibly furious. When I told him that he should get help because those states of mind are definitely not nice for him either, he replied that ''these states of mind cannot be removed but their accomplices can be''.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #17 on: July 28, 2020, 01:02:04 PM »

The depression from this situation hit so hard today. My heart is in thousand pieces. I look forward to him contacting me and get depressed when I don’t hear anything about him. Two months feel soo long. I last heard from him on 19 June. I don't know if he's even capable of missing me. I don't know if he just lives in some numbness... I would have survived this situation better if the breakup had not come from out of the blue and he would not have been so mean and aggressive to me. I thought we were doing just fine... The night before, he wished me a good night saying how he loves me. :/

I feel very weak at the moment.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #18 on: July 28, 2020, 01:54:36 PM »

I'm really really sorry to hear that. At one point it seems like no one really can't help you and you can't get out of this situation. But trust me when I say this that it will get better. I won't say time itself would fix it, actually you and working on yourself would fix it. At times you will feel like this and may want to contact him but I really don't think that's a good idea.
What I'm going through now is intense pain. We both can feel it's not there anymore. He's kinda in a defensive mode. He's trying to argue on every small thing I say now. It's crazy. I feel like it was better that way knowing that our relationship was beautiful while it lasted. But it has completely changed now and I feel so helpless. Time is a big factor here. This long time made a lot of distance between. Think about this. If you guys do get together again it won't do any good. I know you won't like to hear this, and I wouldn't either. But what I'm trying to say is try to consider all the factors here. Do you really wanna be in such kind of a relationship? Ask yourself all these questions. Try to point out the flaws you had. At this moment I just I know it won't last more than a few weeks maybe. Any day now I'll come on this site with the news. But I guess I'm prepared for it this time.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #19 on: July 28, 2020, 01:59:03 PM »

I'm not sure what causes splitting white. It's actually different for individuals. Some don't split white at all and some do. Once my boyfriend said that in order to split someone white someone has to do a grand gesture for him that would make him forget or just ignore the bad things. Idk what he meant by that till now. He didn't know either what nice things or grand gesture would make him that happy. So that's all I can say about this matter. Also, idk if they do get angrier after a discard if you're being nice to them or not, but that's definitely happening in my case.
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Pakichu

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« Reply #20 on: July 28, 2020, 02:06:05 PM »

You know I'm so uncertain of our relationship now that I'm still not telling my friends that we've got back together (ofc some of them understood). He said he loves me only two times in 3days and even that made me laugh. I'm not even kidding. I felt like he didn't mean it, because people can't hurt you like that if they do love you. Your actions are enough to know whether you love someone or not.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #21 on: July 28, 2020, 02:46:00 PM »

I just feel so helpless. I can’t bother my friends about this either day after day. It has been one thing that has helped me cope, but I can’t put an endless burden on them. I won't even get therapy for a long time. It feels like I'm falling apart.

Today I meant to send a message to my ex, but luckily I didn’t. I feel pain, and I sometimes feel alone with that pain, even though I’m not really alone. It’s because I feel alone with my feelings. And that the other one gives no signs of his feelings or anything. It hurts.

I feel that time and distance on the other hand can also do good. I feel like my boyfriend’s feelings were so overflowing that he’s just exhausted now. The day we broke up, he said sleeping is now the only thing that makes him feel good. Fear of rejection and depression together is a dangerous combination...

Yeah, it's indeed a cycle unless a BPD partner understands seeking help. Have you been able to talk to your boyfriend about it?

Came to mind when I opened up drunk to my boyfriend about how his rage feels really horrible. He comforted that his rage is never because of me, they are his own problem. And that I have been for him the best possible girlfriend... So he has those moments when he is able to act and speak sensibly but now it seems that BPD and depression have taken over from him :/ He has also problems in his life at the moment, for example he is unemployed, has no money etc.

I know it would be better for my mental health too when I could just let it be. But on the other hand I love him so much... And in the spring he was already almost seeking help. :/

I've noticed that when I proposed to my boyfriend fun things to do or reminded of our good moments, he has splitted me white again but this time they didn’t work.

Yeah, your boyfriend also sounds manipulative right now. I hope he would seek help too :/ Has he ever been in therapy?
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Pakichu

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« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2020, 02:07:30 PM »

You know one of my friends suggested me something which worked for her. She said whenever you feel like messaging sth to your ex, try to make a draft. She told me that a one line or two line will never express how you feel so try making a draft with all the things you have in your mind in that draft. That alone will take a lot of thinking and time. And try to put it that way so that you can add stuff to it whenever sth comes to your mind. She said by applying this, she never ended up sending the message but a lot things got off her chest and she got to know what she was really feeling. She told me that even if you do end up sending the message it will be an organised one where your thoughts are put into, not a text that says I miss you in capital letters. So if the guy still doesn't reply where you have put everything from your side, then he's not worth of your time. And it did help me to stop messaging my boyfriend as I started to drafting. It's just that instant moment when this urge comes and drafting made the urge from me go away. So you can give it a try.
Also, I get that you don't wanna bother your friends with it, but I would suggest you to still bother them by doing sth fun with them if you can.
Also this happens in my boyfriend's case also. He gets mad or disturbed easily if sth is bothering him and then I have to suffer along with him even if he doesn't want to make me suffer. I guess that's also a part of bpd. Love is a very strong feeling. It's like the strongest thing you'll ever feel. It's terrible how people love other people more than themselves. I, personally struggle with it a lot. I wish loving yourself was as easier as loving your partner. ;-;

My boyfriend has seek therapy a long time ago. Even he stopped taking medication for the last couple of months as he thinks it's not working for him anymore.

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« Reply #23 on: July 29, 2020, 03:25:03 PM »

I'll definitely give it a try. I don't want to look any more desperate in my ex's eyes.

Whenever my boyfriend gets stressed or anxious about something, I also have to suffer. In the last few months, my boyfriend became even more addicted to playing video games (that and I have been the only content in his life for the past year). Almost every time I sent a message to him, it could take him a long time to respond. I decided to give him more space, I couldn’t always be the one who was sending him a message right away, I couldn’t be the one who gave him everything about herself but got nothing back. But when I did that, he asked if everything was ok and started questioning everything. It feels like nothing was enough of what I did. Not that active texting or that I gave him space. I guess he himself didn't know what he needed and wanted. And don't know now either.

I have also been thinking a lot about what he said, and they are quite clear projecting. He said things that he was afraid I would say to him. I do not know if he ''hates'' me because when I have shown that I loved him despite his behavior? He feels worthless and hates the people who care about him? He can't believe I really care about him? He also said in his emotional turmoil that ''go have sex with those men, not interested in what you do'' And I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I didn't understand him. Does that just tell about his subconscious fears?

I don’t know why this time the reminder of our good moments didn’t help. I just want to believe that he would still come to his senses and he would be able to speak rationally... The spring already looked so bright, but then, suddenly, came this big fall.

I don’t know, a relationship with a BPD person is just so addictive. It's like a drug. Good moments feel like being in heaven, but then comes these falls...
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« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2020, 03:07:04 AM »

His words and actions still hurt me and I wonder how he can go on with his life after behaving like a demon from hell. I'm still waiting for some contact in the autumn... At least an apology... I don't know how he could "hate" me forever. I feel like a couple of months ago he just got triggered more of it when I tried to talk to him calmly and comfort and help. I think it just made things worse. And also when I informed his mother that I'm worried about his son and I fear that he will do something for himself. But what else could I have done when I was really worried about his mental health? I just hope he understands seeking help for himself...

the short, simple answer to the confusion you are facing now, is that the two of you were on very different pages; very different pages leading up to, and after your breakup.

whenever one person ends a relationship, they have, at least partially, grieved it. and that makes no sense to the person who is feeling the loss, who has not even really begun to grieve it. this will make a great deal more sense in the future, whatever happens.

youre at a crossroads.

you can use this time to dig in and understand what you werent privy to, what was boiling under the surface, where the relationship started to breakdown, and what ultimately forced the separation. its a tall order, i imagine. when i was going through my breakup, i couldnt have done it...people close to me hinted around, but anything they suggested sent me into a total tailspin of shame and blame.

its also not a guarantee. i could adequately explain to you how my relationship whittled down bit by bit now; that never brought her back, but at the same time, it was absolutely essential later on in my healing process.

if theres one bit of advice id recommend most, its to commit to a path. as i said before, you are in a place where you are primarily venting. thats perfectly understandable given the hell youre going through, but its not going to help you, if he were to come back tomorrow, put the pieces back together in a way that they can fit. commit to grieve the loss, or commit to learn where things went wrong and how (if possible) they can be repaired.

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« Reply #25 on: July 31, 2020, 03:56:19 PM »

It may be that he began to fear his feelings. But I don’t get why he has occasionally unblocked me (especially when he said he never wanted to hear from me again) and nor those nasty messages after our breakup. He could not have answered me at all. He just could have ignored me. Can anyone explain this behavior? This doesn't make sense to me.
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« Reply #26 on: August 07, 2020, 03:51:01 PM »

Hey Flightfar,
How have you been? I've been visiting this site but was and still am kinda lost. So, couldn't really write anything. What have you been up to?

I'm a bit lost because of the relationship I have with my boyfriend. It's never great, but gets good and bad like really frequently. He told me that we won't make our relationship work just by seeing a video on YouTube where it talks about 12 signs that probably means you're relationship won't last. Anyway he gave me the video and started saying we have those red flags, so our relationship won't work. I tried to talk to him as calmly as possible. At one point, we just stopped talking (, Which is great). We didn't talk properly for like 2-3 days after that. Then suddenly it got better and he started being the cheerful him. Then again after 2 days it's getting bad again and by bad I mean he's not talking to me properly, not doing his assigned works etc.
Today I was actually thinking if we can really make it or not, and honestly I don't think so. Sometimes I feel like I definitely deserve better. He was not always like this. He was a different person when we met and it's true that it feels selfish of me to even think of leaving him sometimes. But I can't help it. I have enough doubt that if he really loves me or not. And guess what, I haven't still asked him the question why he has come back because I was fearing how he would react. See the problem here? I can't communicate with him thinking his reaction. That's a big red flag right there. At this point, all I do is keep my mouth shut and send memes. It's kinda sad. *Sigh*
Sorry for ranting. Do write about you.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #27 on: August 08, 2020, 04:21:10 AM »

I understand very well that you feel lost. It is certainly true that things will not return to normal after breakups with BPD people. Of course you'd deserve better, but things aren’t always so black and white... Yes, it would be very good if you could find a moment when you could talk about your feelings and where your relationship is going and whether your boyfriend is ready to work on things. But you should be sure that the moment is right and how you bring it up. It would be so important for your own well-being. But if you feel that no change is coming, then think about whether you really want to stay in that kind of relationship :/ Such a relationship affects negatively on your self-esteem and mental health...
At least my own boyfriend tended to get angry if I started to open up about things that bothered me. But sometimes I happened to find a moment when he himself understood his problems and wanted to talk calmly. Now he is angry again and even more isolated and denies all his problems. I don't know, I also feel really lost!

I have a feeling I could hear my ex at any moment, but I don't know... I don’t know what happened to him after his last hate message, which came on June 19th. I feel like he was drunk at the time and has since been ashamed of himself. I can't say if he's coming back after his provocations. He is a very jealous person and I am wondering if he would dare come back if I had someone new.

I will write more when I get my thoughts clarified. Also write if you have something you want to open up to.
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Flightfar
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« Reply #28 on: September 16, 2020, 01:12:08 PM »

I found my ex bpd bf on dating app today, I'm shocked
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« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2020, 11:42:51 PM »

its going to sting.

how are you holding up?
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