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Skills we were never taught
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A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: SET Method  (Read 755 times)
Jane534
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« on: October 11, 2022, 09:23:31 AM »

Hello!  I work with adults that are on the spectrum and have BPD.  I want to master the SET method so that I can train teams...is there an online training that might be available? 
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

PearlsBefore
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« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2022, 10:43:37 AM »

Hi, glad you found your way here; technically the thread is in the incorrect subforum (this is more for technical website issues) so will be moved, and then the URL will change and a new one provided...don't be surprised, it may look like it's been deleted but it hasn't, just moved.

That said, I didn't instantly recognise SET - but google-fu shows https://peoplepsych.com/support-empathy-truth-set-for-borderline-personality/ which says "SET stands for SUPPORT, EMPATHY, and TRUTH. It was developed by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD, and Hal Straus, the authors of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me and Sometimes I Act Crazy." Technically I wasn't a large fan of that book-set as I found them overly conciliatory - and while the pwBPD who gave them to me was a fan of the "flattering" description of techniques, etc - they didn't seem to actually work. That said, of course every case is slightly different - so I'm not saying it's a bad system, just that in my experience the Kreisman/Straus methods were a little too feel-good.  Then again, I'm also a relatively strong critic of Marsha Linehan - so maybe I'm just overly critical. (I criticise Kreger's lack of depth in writing, but her actual analysis of BPD seems legit).

Personally I'll always ship/cheer Kernberg and Lawson as the best insights without pulling any punches, though it may be that I lean towards the Austrian school as the methods are more Freudian (in the real sense, not the "do yoga and picture yourself as a lotus flower emerging while you're in your mother's bed" sense that one professional in our family's life has recently attempted to my strong condemnation).
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Jane534
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« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2022, 11:02:43 AM »

Thank you for your input.  My job is a bit different...I am an LCSW...but I work more on the behavioral/training side of things.  We support adults with complex mental health needs, but also have a diagnosis of intellectual disabilities and/or autism.  It is so hard to find good resources for my cases.  The SET method might help my clients feel "heard".  Any resources that you can recommend is really apprectiated!
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Turkish
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« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2022, 09:12:48 PM »

We have plenty of material here.

Top level article from the TIPS green pull down at the top of the board: https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict

Click on the READ MORE link at the end for an in depth discussion.

We have over a decade of material on this board:

Library: Tools and skills workshops
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SinisterComplex
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« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2022, 09:41:28 PM »

Hello!  I work with adults that are on the spectrum and have BPD.  I want to master the SET method so that I can train teams...is there an online training that might be available? 

Just to add on...

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-
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