Hey JNav, glad you found your way to the group! You're among members here who really understand what you've been through. Over two decades of marriage is a long time; it makes sense that despite the "roller coaster", you have reasons you want to stay married.
I am just looking for some advice on how to help her and some private conversation.
Tell me a bit more about that -- am I understanding that you'd like to have a conversation with her where you share that she may have BPD? Or are you thinking of something else?
As you settle in here, make sure to take a look at our
articles on when a partner/spouse has BPD. I'd be curious about which ones stood out to you.
Keep us in the loop, and again, welcome;
kells76