Could it have been me all along?

[MGMom]

PDQuick,

It wasn't you, hon.  My husband used to travel all the time.  I was alone more than I was with him.  One day I went out to a garden nursery, and I ran into an old boyfriend from college.   He was very complimentary and flirtatious.  You know what?  It felt great because my husband was never home, and I felt neglected.  Do you know what I did?  I went home and told my husband what had happened.  I told him that I was willing to make whatever lifestyle changes we needed to make to get him home.  We had to move out of state so that he could take a job where he could be home.  That is what a healthy woman does when she is lonely.  She goes to her husband and says, "Let's work this out."  Then, she keeps saying it until he listens.  She does not cheat on him.

This was not your fault.  She is not healthy, and an unhealthy mind does not behave rationally, PDQuick.  If she couldn't handle this difficulty in the road, she would not have handled any other obstacle.  We make a promise to our spouses, PD.  We promise to keep fighting even when we are tired of fighting for a marriage.  She did not keep her promise.

Be blessed.  Someone out there is praying to meet you, PD.  She will be a blessed lady when she does. 

[PDQuick]

I can see that it is not all my fault. Sure, I had a part in it. But, in light of recent events, she cannot make good, healthy, rational decisions. She acts on impulse, with no reguard to who, or what is affects. She does what, who, how she wants, when she wants, then spins a web of lies to cover her actions. She does know right from wrong, thus the lies, but she has no impulse control. She has no patience. She has no moral code, no value system. And most of all, she has no respect for anything in her life. I see this all so clearly now.

[elphaba]

Glad to see the fog is clearing for you PD, it is so strange that one little contact with them can throw us into a complete tailspin and make us question EVERYTHING including our own judgement and sanity...

This is again why the recomendation is NC, because they have proven their abiltiy to twist our thinking to such a degree.

I mean hell, of course I'd like to think that DB and I could have polite social contact, we've known each other for over 16 years, we were friends for at least 5 before we started seeing each other...but, I also know that his mind is so twisted, his thinking so skewed, his intentions so self serving that it would be impossible and I would only end up hurt in the process.

I'm glad you are getting back to thinking clearly...

:-*

[TonyC]

well if it was us...was it the  soulmates before us ...and it wil be the soulmates after us...

you know its a cycle...next victim

i had told mary a numerous times...she continually makes bad decisions...not just about us... about her kids, her friends and her family...

im sure...the case is the same for most of our s/os

they think for today ...they dont think for tommarrow

continuous bad decisions...

tony

[csandra]

I can see that it is not all my fault. Sure, I had a part in it. But, in light of recent events, she cannot make good, healthy, rational decisions. She acts on impulse, with no reguard to who, or what is affects. She does what, who, how she wants, when she wants, then spins a web of lies to cover her actions. She does know right from wrong, thus the lies, but she has no impulse control. She has no patience. She has no moral code, no value system. And most of all, she has no respect for anything in her life. I see this all so clearly now.

I could have written that word for word about my stbx.  Your ex sounds very NPD.  I have found that it is best to not be anywhere near them when we are vulnerable.  I headed off a few emails last week, yesterday I fell off the NC wagon(so to speak) and await the wreckage.

We must be doing something right...we wake up every morning and they're not there.

[bewildered2]

I can see that it is not all my fault. Sure, I had a part in it. But, in light of recent events, she cannot make good, healthy, rational decisions. She acts on impulse, with no reguard to who, or what is affects. She does what, who, how she wants, when she wants, then spins a web of lies to cover her actions. She does know right from wrong, thus the lies, but she has no impulse control. She has no patience. She has no moral code, no value system. And most of all, she has no respect for anything in her life. I see this all so clearly now.

You got it.

Her feelings dictate her actions. And her feelings reflect her distorted perception of life. And she is overly impulsive because the part of her brain that exercises control over her impulses is defective. It is all a recipe for disaster in terms of having a relationship. Which is exactly what she got. And will have again, and again, and again. And she will likely never learn. A sad sad case. For you though it can be different...

B2   

[crystal]

PD--glad you are back out of oz. And really glad it was a short trip.  Watch out though. She will be back and you are still vulnerable! 

Glad to see the fog is clearing for you PD, it is so strange that one little contact with them can throw us into a complete tailspin and make us question EVERYTHING including our own judgement and sanity...

So true, Elphie!

Crystal

[JoannaK]

I'm glad you are coming out of the fog, PDQ, but I want to go back, as I didn't answer you very completely earlier... and my words aren't just directed to you, but at others (especially men) in similar situations.

I wonder if it could have been me that was the main problem in this relationship. I was always working, never had a lot of time to spend at home with the family. She has always said that I drove her away. I made her lonely and vulnerable to other men. She said that I was not there emotionally. Could she be right? Have any of you ever sought out someone because you were lonely in your relationship? She said that she always felt second to everything else.

I know you guys were there for the relationship, but could her feelings be real? In a normal way? I know that workaholics are hard to live with, but could any of this be true? I have to own my part of the dysfunction, so I am trying to understand her complaints, and reasons. I would appreciate any insight from the ladies especially. What if your husband wasnt home at, and did not attend most of the children's games and stuff like that? Would you feel lonely, and if so, would it be lonely enough to make you vulnerable to other men? 

 

Lets turn the tides for once. It will help me out. Lets say that you dont know me. You are friends with my ex. She complains about me never being available, not putting her and the kids first, and yes, she talked to me about it, and I vowed to change, but didnt, would you understand her actions? I know that Im dealing with a BPD, but when is the line drawn between what is right and what is wrong for either the mentally healthy, or not. I am sure that I am not the most mentally healthy person, and I have done my wrongs, I am just trying to figure out if there is some validity in her complaints.   

 

First of all, I don't think I could have been friends with someone that is as selfish and money-grubbing as your ex appears to be.  All of my long-term friends have been stable, decent sorts, who pay their own bills.. or are good wives to the men who pay the bills. 

I've always thought that, if the guy is working to pay the bills, the woman should shut up.  Unless she thinks he is with other women, frequenting strip clubs, or out partying in bars, or just getting drunk somewhere, she should shut up and let him be. 

If the guy is hanging out in strip clubs, chasing other women, or just getting drunk somewhere, then she should either make it clear that he's got to get his act together or make plans to dump him.  But no whining if she thinks he really is working. 

Personally, I was thrilled when my ex was gone when my son was really little.  He made a decent salary back then and I was able to be home with my little son.  When he was gone, the house was peaceful and I didn't have to listen to him whine and complain.  I really enjoyed it when he took business trips, which he unfortunately did rarely.  Emotional needs?  I had friends and relatives!  I wasn't going to risk the relationship with my exh (which wasn't that horrible back then) by chasing some man...  We were both faithful to each other!  Sexual needs?  He wasn't gone that much, and I could certainly manage a week without sex if he was out of town, good heavens! 

I don't know how often you were gone, how many hours you worked, but my sense is that she was just looking for excuses.

Now about the kids.  Sorry, PDQ, these aren't your kids.  You really didn't owe them a lot, not unless you adopted them.  I never expected my ex to be at every T ball and soccer game...  He came to what he could.  My expectations of my bf, my son's kinda stepdad, are even lower.  He went to his graduation, to his senior class play, and to a couple of school music recitals.  We were going to go to one of his soccer games this year when my bf was available (not working), but it got rained out.  We were both disappointed.  If my bf had attended 5-6 of my son's events per year over the time we have been together, that would be enough.  Again, it would depend on 1:  Why you weren't there; and 2:  How often these events occurred.   

If you weren't there because you were drunk or chasing women, then she would have a right to be upset.  If you were working, then she should have shut up.  If she expected you to be at events every week, she was asking too much.  If she was expecting you to be at 1 or 2 events per month, that would be reasonably reasonable.

But about her emotional needs?  Didn't she have kids?  Didn't she have friends and family?  How in the world did she have time to pursue men when she had a bunch of kids around? 

If she were my friend, and you weren't around because you were working and she had a good lifestyle because you were working, I would have told her to count her blessings and not mess up a good thing. 

[criticalmass06]

I know this wont be popular, but, I cant help but wonder in light of what I have learned about myself recently, I wonder if it could have been me that was the main problem in this relationship.NO YOU WERE NOT-  I was always working, never had alot of time to spend at home with the family. She has always said that I drove her away. I made her lonely and vulnerable to other men. She said that I was not there emotionally. Could she be right? NO THIS IS BPD AND YOUR STILL THINKING IN THE FOG- YOU KNOW THIS

Have any of you ever sought out someone because you were lonely in your relationship?Normal reaction to want to talk to somebody co herent, some one to boucne things off of, to act phyiscaly with someone is wrong but it happens in un healthy realtionships, 

She said that she always felt second to everything else. BPD MANIPULATION AGAIN

I know you guys werent there for the relationship, but could her feelings be real? NO SHE MARRIED ANOTHER GUY NAD HOVVERED YOU ON THE WEDDING DAY-REMEMBER In a normal way?

I know that work-a-holics are hard to live with, but could any of this be true? NO- THIS IS LIFE, YOU HAD TO WORK TO KEEP THE REATIONSHIP GOING WITH MONEY,JUST LIKE I DID, JUST LIKE TONYC DID, IF WE DIDNT- WE WOULD OF FELL A LONG TIME AGO- THIS IN ITS SELF TOOK A TOLL ON ALL 3 OF US, THIS IN IT SELF WAS IMBEDDED IN OUR HEADS - THE FOG AND IT TAKES A WHILE TO GET OUT OF PHYSICAL AND MENTALLY- ITS NOT NORMAL TO HAVE TO WORK THIS HARD TO LOVE SOMEONE- ITS NOT HEALTHY -ITS NOT RIGHT- THATS WY WE LEFT

I have to own my part of the dysfunction- FOG, FEAR GUILT OBLIGATION- YOUR NOT GOING TO GET CLOSURE WITH HER SO GIVE IT TO YOUR SELF

so I am trying to understand her complaints,STOP THIS MADNESS QUICK- LET GO and reasons.SHE IS MENTALL ILL- WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

I would appreciate any insight from the ladies especially. What if your husband wasnt home alot, and did not attend most of the childrens games and stuff like that? Would you feel lonely, and if so, would it be lonely enough to make you vulnerable to other men? THIS IS BS- SOME PEOPLE ARE  LUCKY ENOUGH TO DO ALL THIS, SOME PEOPLE IN HEALTHY REALTIONSHIPS WITH A HEALTHY PARTNER WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE IT WORK, SHE DID NOT, MINE DID NOT, TONYC'S DID NOT, STOP BALMING YOURSELF AND TAKING ON HER FAULTS AND PROBLEMS- THERE ARE HERS NOT YOURS, KEEP THESE GOOD THOUGHTS FOR SOMEONE DESERVING DOWN THE ROAD

Thanks for the quick replies. Lets turn the tides for once. It will help me out. Lets say that you dont know me. CANT I DO KNOW YOU- STOP LOOKING FOR REASONS TO SABATOGE YOUR REASONS FOR ANSWERS

You are friends with my ex. She complains about me never being available, not putting her and the kids first, and yes, she talked to me about it, and I vowed to change, but didnt, would you understand her actions? NO I WOULDNT, I ARE ANY ONE ELSE WOULD SEE HER AS A CONSTANT COMPLAINER AND NOT LOOK AT IT THIS DEEP, DO YOU LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLES REALTIONSHIPS THIS DEEP, BESIDES THIS BOARD- IF YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH A FRIEND AND NEVER HAD A BPD REATIONSHIP WOULD YOU GIVE THIS THOUGHT/GUESTION A LOT OF TIME OR WOULD YOU SAY- GOD SHE COMAPLAINS A LOT, I AM GLAD I DONT HAVE HER PROBLEMS AND THAT WOULD BE IT.

I know that Im dealing with a BPD,THEN STOP QUESTIONING YOUR SELF

but DO ME A FAVOR FOR YOUR SELF, i HAVE DID THIS BEFORE AND IT WORKS TO CHANGE A FORE THOUGHT

TAKE BUT OUT OF ALL YOUR EXCUSES , WRTING, AND THOUGHTS-TRY THAT AND SEE HOW THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR WAYS OF MAKEING EXCUSES FOR YOUR SELF AND FOR HER TAKE BUT OUT AND IT WILL HELP YOU MOVE ON

when is the line drawn between what is right and what is wrong for either the mentally healthy, or not. I am sure that I am not the most mentally healthy person, and I have done my wrongs,

I am just trying to figure out if there is some validity in her complaints. STOP, THIS IS THE FOG MY FREIND

Quick, my freind you are ok, this relationship has past and you open up some old wounds form your own past and now there are crossing over and back into your old past realtionship.

This time is for you, ask your self for a little mental vacation take the summer off, breath my friend relax, and trust in your self that the futre will be bright and you will be AOK.

If its sunny outside, it sunny and if its raining its raining- what I mean is look at today for today and take it in- dont look to deep.

Enjoy your time, you are free from her.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{quick}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

start living again.


CM

[Julzpeace]

Hi PDQuick~

I am new here, but please allow me to voice my opinion...for whatever it's worth.

My soon-to-be-ex husband is Bipolar/BPD and we've been married almost 11 years.  He is a Commercial Fisherman-(PERFECT career for a Bipolar/BPD!) and because of his career, he is away MUCH of the time.  When we first met and up until a few years ago, he would go on 2 - 3 week Fishing Trips.  I LOVED the time and space!  Now, did I ever get lonely? Yeah, sometimes.  Did I ever go out? Yeah, sometimes.  Did I ever get the urge to find comfort in someone else's arms? Yeah, sometimes.  Did I go there? No.

I left him about a month ago and have been living with my parents.  All this time, doing much reflecting, I realize that our time apart-when he was at sea, is what probably kept me with him for so long!  Since 2004, he has been "day fishing," and is home within 24-30 hours of leaving the house.  I look back and see that when he was "trip fishing," for weeks at a time, it would take me sometimes up to a full week to get my house back in order, my head back on straight-(whatever THAT is!) and to find true peace and comfort in my home.

I agree that noone is perfect, and that we all have to work HARD to make a marriage and a relationship work, but when you are giving 100%, and your partner is only giving maybe 6%, who's to blame?  I've been doing much reading and research about this mental illness, and I am amazed at how many stories are so similar-some even IDENTICAL to mine!

Remember- they can be ABSOLUTELY CHARMING, BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT!  They have already bruised and crushed our egos, & we keep double-guessing ourselves, and probably always will, to some level; "What could I have done to make things different?  What could I have done to make it work?"  Etc.

Peace,

Julz

[bewildered2]

PDQuick,

Please be careful not to fall into the trap of double and triple guessing yourself and re-examining things again and again to see how you could have been wrong and she could have been right.

Remember that their logic, although fundamentally flawed, ain't bad! Her logic convinced her that she was right to do what she did, and if not, she convinced herself afterwards that it wasn't her fault but yours. She acts on her feelings, and her perception is screwed up, so there is no way she can be right. But because she believes what she says, and is no doubt intelligent, she can be very convincing, and  certainly was while you were together.

As Joanna often says, Adolf Hitler had his reasons for exterminating 7,000,000 Jews, Gypsies, Slavs, and other "sub-humans" (his contention, not mine). And he convinced a nation of educated and civil western europeans that his view was right. Was he right? Or was he just very convincing because he believed what he was saying? Do you think his perception might have been a little off too?

My ex-whacko told me, in fact demanded, that I feel the same way about, and act toward her daughter in the same way as I felt and acted toward my own daughter. I could see her point. It is what she wanted and expected, at that moment in time. But it was a preposterous thing to expect, and more incorrectly, to demand. The child had a father whom she saw more than 50% of her time and to whom she was very very attached. The child was overtly hostile towards me a lot of the time, probably out of a sense of loyalty to her Dad, all understandable. Looking back I see that it was yet another example of distorted thinking, which turned into a demand, then an ultimatum, followed by a threat to screw other men if I didn't comply. Stuck in the FOG, in Oz, as I was, it was difficult to see the wood from the trees. Now, of course, I see how ridiculously screwed up the whole thing was, but I didn't then, because I was flat out trying to please her, which is an impossible task.

Remember to do Joanna's exercise; write down examples of her behavior that caused you grief. Keep adding to it as you get more flashbacks. Trust me, the list will be surprisingly long. Now, each incident, in isolation, you might think, "that ain't too bad, why did I make such a fuss?". But when you add it all up you will see a pattern of one crazy demand after another, with increasing frequency over time. And their is no way to have pleased her, to have kept her happy, and in any case, it's not your job to make her happy! That's her problem. But by giving a little ground each time, to keep the peace, you were eroding natural boundaries and giving away your personal power and space, until in the end there was probably very little left.

This bs about how it was all your fault that she went off with other men because you were busy working is...bs!

Tonyc's ex-nutmare was "forced" to go drinking every night because he wasn't home (he was at work bringing home the bacon as she didn't work). So it was ll his fault too? And now that she is with another man, is it his fault too that she is still drinking? Absolutely pathetic and sad that these people can be so delusional.

These sick people, with their self-destructive and abusive behavior and poor impulse control and distorted perception of the world around them, will blame everyone but themselves for their disgusting and hurtful actions, and anyone who buys their crap is either in love or crazy too.

You're out of Oz. You know about BPD. It exists. It is real. It is a severe mental illness. Try and remember this when doubts creep into your mind. Borderlines can be very very clever. Look how many obviously clever people here (Nons) get taken in by them and waste years of their lives on them to no avail.

The short answer to your question, "could it have been me all along?" is NO.

b2                           

[criticalmass06]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Quick }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

where are you my friend and how are you doing ?

CM

[PDQuick]

Im here. Im ok, been talking to her a little in the last few days, but I think that stopped this morning when she pissed me off with her false sense of entitlement. Everything is always about her. Her her her her her. I need things as well, and she will not address anything so, BOOT. She can go back to her husband where she belongs, and try to get him to entertain her. Im so tired of the lies, manipulations, bullsht, entitlement, no boundary setting, back stabbing, lie spewing, self wallowing, please help ME out cause I got myself in a bind, hit_. Im good! No harm, no foul. Nothing but wine and roses here in hell.

[PDQuick]

Ok, that sounded cynical. So be it! Im tired of it!

[criticalmass06]

That sounded healthy and truthfule.

we , you all of us have been there, I think your good

enough is enough


you feel it now in your last post and said what needed to be said.

remenber she is a child in an adult body...

hang in there quick,

you are all lot stonger then you give your self credit for sometimes.


CM

[crystal]

Hey PD-

I think you sound ok. Better angry than confused. Better cynical than sucked in.

They do mess with our minds don't they. Gald you,re not getting twisted in your thinking!

Take care of yourself-you are worth it!

Crystal

[JoannaK]

I agree with crystal, better angry than confused...  But STOP TALKING TO HER! 

You also need to set those boundaries, PDQ, and keep them up there!

[johnfl]

Quick,

I have been worried about you the last 2 days.  I knew something was up.  I'm lucky as EX doesn't re-engagement.  I believe that NC is the only way to go and it will ultimately be that way for you.  That said, maybe you did need another bite of the sandwich...

It was only when I realized that my ex would not stop at any length to frustrate me.  Moreso, she took great pride in seeing me suffer.  That's all that's going on here with you.  You've supported that sense of entitlement for what 13 years?  She wont let you go if she can destroy you first...or you can go back and kiss her ass some more...Sorry, you know I am your friend and care about you.  I just had to say that b'c in their mind that's all they want adulation...worship...worship... :

[MGMom]

I agree with crystal, better angry than confused...  But STOP TALKING TO HER! 

You also need to set those boundaries, PDQ, and keep them up there!

Ditto.  Amen! 

PDQuick,  you need to tell her to lose your number.  Develop a mantra!  I  hereby challenge you to chant "I deserve better" every day when you wake up.  LOL    Sweetie,  she wants to keep her claws in you because she wants her cake and Quick too.  I can tell that you are such a great guy.  Please remember that someone is out there who is kind and loving and not manipulative.  She is praying to meet you.  You deserve her--not this loon.  No matter what weakness you have, she will love you and be willing to work with you to work it out.  Quit worrying about what you may or may not have done to contribute to the problems.  If a woman loves a man, she will do whatever it takes to work through their problems.  You don't have to be perfect and do everything she wants.  Honey, I get mad at my man all the time.  I pout and fuss and preach all the time.  He isn't perfect, but neither am I, and I love him.  So, quit worrying about not being perfect in the relationship, dear one.  Remember, you have lots of women on here who think you are just wonderful.     That alone is a testimony.  LOL

[turtle]

PDQuick --

She needs to be talking to her HUSBAND, not you.

If you can't stop talking to her (which you absolutely should,) tell her to take it to her HUSBAND and leave you the hell alone.

Turtle

[NewLifeforHGG]

I missed you on the board. I am so sorry you are struggling right now.

PD you have to cut the ties. You have to.

I take it she is married now? She is her H's problem. Is he a decent guy? Do you know if he is?

But then what does it matter really.

You wouldn't want your wife to do to you what she is doing to him. Don't be a party to her deceitful behavior.

It is time to move on and go completely NC. No going back. You have to move on. You have to. You need to reclaim your life and open your hear to someone who deserves you.

[johnfl]

Yes cutting the ties is one of the hardest things to do.  I know it is and still is for me.  Even though I haven't spoken with her in over 4 weeks, its not easy.  I think the idea of NC forever is hard to digest.  So, what I am trying is thinking about it 1 day at a time.  Then one day you just wont care.   Sometimes, when we try to imagine NEVER EVER..its gets a little overwhelming...try and break it down to a day at a time. 

Hope you're feeling better today.

[NHBeachBum]

Im here. Im ok, been talking to her a little in the last few days, but I think that stopped this morning when she pissed me off with her false sense of entitlement. Everything is always about her. Her her her her her. I need things as well, and she will not address anything so, BOOT. She can go back to her husband where she belongs, and try to get him to entertain her. Im so tired of the lies, manipulations, bullsht, entitlement, no boundary setting, back stabbing, lie spewing, self wallowing, please help ME out cause I got myself in a bind, hit_. Im good! No harm, no foul. Nothing but wine and roses here in hell.

PDQ,

Sorry to read about your struggles lately. I couldn't agree with others that have posted to stay NC. Joanna couldn't have hit the nail on the head: with her personality, why would you even WANT to CONSIDER a friendship with her?

I occassionally think like you did & try to figure out how much responsibility I had in the relationship & the outcome. A while ago I spent time analyzing what responsibility I had in the failure. I'm a logical guy so I just go through the facts.

1. I had a piece in every single relationship that I've been involved with as did the other person.

2. My exBPDgf has a serious illness that she had long before she met me. I didn't cause it & it had a HUGE impact into how SHE decided to treat me. It's not my responsibility. I remember writing her e-mails trying to get her to see that ANY of her exbf's or hubby would have reacted the SAME way to HER actions.

3. Next I look at both my past history & her past history. How have my relationships ended? How has she treated her past BF's? How have I treated my exes? How have they treated me? If you notice a clear pattern, at some point it shows what each person is like.

4. So now do the math again: Has she treated many other's very badly in the past? Isn't she really projecting HER issues yet again onto you? Is there a pattern of her abusing others?

5. Keep doing the math: Ask yourself why YOU are choosing to allow her to try to control your emotions, subtly abuse you by projecting onto you, etc.

6. Final math question of the day: Is this REALLY someone that you want to have ANY kind of relationship with?

In my own situation, I answered those questions a long time ago. I already wasted too much time analyzing. It always came down to a great big "NO" for #6.

No one can answer any of them for you. If you really feel like you need to re-analyze it, just walk through it again. It shouldn't take very long to come to a conclusion.

I hope you can let it go again. It just ain't your fault. No matter WHAT she says, how she slices & dices it. There are TWO people in a relationship (well more than 2 with my ex but that's a whole other discussion).

-NHBB

[thomaso61]

Sorry, didn't read everyone's posts so if I repeat I apologize in advance.

PDQ, what the hell are you thinking? Crazy is crazy can't make sense of it. You shouldn't second guess yourself with everything you've been through and told us. Let her go bro! I'm sure we all have issues because we are human and relationships require work from both parties. But to think it was entirely your fault is proposterous. You were involved with someone who has a serious mental illness. When you look at it that way it's much easier to see it for what it is and was. C'mon PDQ. I've messaged you and spoken to you in person. Your personality  comes through loud and clear on this message board. If you went to see a mental health proffessional and had some papers issued to you making you certifiable then you might want to question the question you posed which started this thread.

A friend of mine likes analyzing people. he's read the DSM4 among many other psyche books. we can all fit into some category or cluster. Who knows, I may have a touch of OCD. The point is no one is perfect or completely normal. we all have defects of character and strive to improve on them. BPD's do not even see themselves or their insanity. That's a HUGE difference bro!

Anyway...I'm gettin off my soap box here. Try not to question it anymore, you'll just make yourself nuts!

[LAPDR]

PD;

Head to Nags Head, go to the Brew Thru then the beach. Take a long walk, clear the mind, take a break from all the deep thinking you are doing and relax a little. Think of that blonde you haven't put a face to yet and dream a little dream.

LA