SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[Rapt Reader]

I scored a 2 on this test... .But had I taken it in April of 2013 on the night I first found this site, it would've been a whole lot higher. My sleep was constantly ruined by my fears for my BPD son's life and recovery, and I didn't have any idea how to help him or myself and my family.

My relationship with my other (non) son and his wife was more stressful than I could handle on my own (their ideas of how I should be handling BPD son were in opposition to his Therapist's, Psychiatrist's and Doctor's, and they were threatening to never see us again unless we abided by their wishes regarding him). Stress, stress, stress was causing me so many of the symptoms addressed in the test, I think I would've blown it out of the water!

I'm amazed at how much my fears have been calmed, and how much stress has been alleviated by my learning what I've learned with the Lessons and Tools on this site. I guess I've kind of taken it for granted, almost 2 years later... .

[Panda39]

9

Just found out my rent is going up $200 a month... .something has to give... .new place to live, new job, additional income.  Not sure what yet... .mulling it over

[lever.]

19-mildly depressed-I know that this is because I can't let go of wanting relationships between other family members to be better. I know I need to radically accept that they are NC and I can do nothing about it. If I could do this I wouldn't be depressed at all.

[TheRealJongoBong]

I score a 46. Mostly I just don't see the point of anything. Relationship - sucks, Work - sucks, friends - don't have any, family - mostly alienated. I'm 55 and I honestly don't see a reason to have a relationship with another woman given the last 30 years living with BPD's.  My work in corporate america has been a laundry list of kowtowing to narcissists. Yes sir, I'll do what you say even though it's obviously wrong sir. I was never comfortable around people since I was 5 because I didn't know what they wanted. I was crippled with anxiety as a kid that was hardly even acknowledged by my parents. Now people seem like they want to be friends because they just want to have only the good parts of their lives reflected back at them. My family is the same - anything I can do to help them is great but making any accomodation for me, nah that would be work.

[Lifewriter16]

Perhaps I'm just not good with technology, but I can't figure out how to use the poll.

However, I scored 25 which puts me as mildly depressed. That does fit with what I am experiencing, which is good days followed by depressed days, followed by good days, in a rapidly moving cycle.

Lifewriter

[Sadly]

70. really not good. I guess I should care but after a positive few hours am back to my reality

[C.Stein]

66 ... .Three months out ... .guess I have some work to do.

[daz_bpd]

Um 43, and Im shocked how high this number is, i thought i was doing a lot better.

Basically I score 3 or 4, for all of 'Low self esteem' to 'Loss of interest in sex', loss of motivation and constantly ired and wanting to sleep

Zeroes for the 'suicide' self harm

[sweet tooth]

50.

I'm depressed as a direct result of the stress brought on by the disappearing/reappearing act. It's been over three weeks with almost no contact. I'm very hurt.

[Lifewriter16]

I am now moderately depressed. My score has increased to 36 since I last posted in August, just a week before I broke up for the last time from my BPDxbf. I think this increased score fits with the fact my relationship is now totally and irrevocably over rather than just falling apart and I suspect there will never be any contact again because he won't countenance seeing me.

A friend of mine died last week, which is leaving me both grieving for her and reviewing my own life. She was only 1 year older than me (I'm 51). That could have been me but what have I done with my life? She found the 'love of her life' and raised 2 children with him over a period of 25 years together and was very active in the local community. Her wake was a real blessing, really well attended, a joyful and loving farewell. I would love my life to end THAT way. I fear it won't.

I have realised that I have few relationship skills, I need to be right and will make a point at any cost, I'm so damaged that I attract all the wrong people, I have loads of core pain to still process. I feel that there's so much wrong with me that I will never have my dream or avoid my nightmare scenario - dying when there's virtually no one who cares enough about me to mourn me. It feels like the ultimate humiliation after a life of isolation, of being shunned or of not fitting in because I'm not like other people.

Lifewriter

[Hopeful83]

eI got 55. At first I was surprised at how high the score is, but now I realise it makes sense. I have zero motivation to do anything. I've been feeling down for the last two weeks as I've been unable to do any work (I'm a freelancer). It's a vicious cycle - can't work, therefore not earning money, therefore cannot go out and have fun, too.

I decided last weekend that I'm going to look for a job. I think I need structure now in order to rebuild my life. I have to start somewhere and I think that's the best place to focus my energies on. A job will mean I'll be meeting people again, I'll be out and about all day, I'll be able to get my own place again... .

This is tough. Really tough.

[ItsVal]

scored 35, three weeks after the final discard, surprised it isn't higher!

[tryingsome]

I came back with a 3.
Thank goodness for therapy and life long friends.
Here is to good healing for you all.

[lovenature]

I would say I scored a 49 but still feel severely depressed; I have been NC for over 9 months, but there are other issues in my life contributing to my depression other than my ex.

[stimpy]

So I remembered back to the day after she dumped me and the score was 56.

Then I did it how I am now and I'm at 5.

I am 18 months out, have had a little therapy but most of all I found a mentor who listened to me go on and on and on about what had happened to me and helped me steer back to normality.

[beggarsblanket]

I scored 74. This does not surprise me.

[malibu4x]

This has been something of concern for me,  I know I'm moderately depressed, but still manage to function at mostly a high level. 

Today I'm at 28. 

I copied the test into a simple spreadsheet and am going to start tracking weekly.

Is there any way to upload it so folks could use it?

[Skip]

Depression Test
61% of members are depressed



Take the test here:
 

[Rock Chick]

I scored 10. I honestly thought it be more like 11 to 18 and land me in the mildly depressed scoring range because of my bf's severely BPD etc mother and a few minor things but hey I'll take landing in the unhappy numbers range any day   

[Butch13]

20

A few weeks ago I'd have been high 20s I think. I'm in divorce now and doing a lot of ruminating, which isn't good. Still, I have a bright outlook and confident that I can start working on my own issues, although having a hard time focusing on me as opposed to the ex.

[purekalm]

63 about 4 days ago when I was feeling down but not too bad. 53 a day ago when I was feeling ok and today a 59 and I feel a little out of it and frustrated because of recent events. Even though it's high I'm happy that it's not as bad as I used to get. It just sucks that it's still my 'normal'. Sigh.

[Larmoyant]

I scored 66. Still struggling, but improving especially now that I've gone completely NC. I’m going to use this test as a measure of my progress.

[Gypsy_lady]

Well, I took the test. I took it 2 ways. 1. when he is home, I scored 58. My second test was when he is gone, which is alot I scored 19

[badknees1]

I scored 57. My marriage to BPD wife is rarely at peace. Home is not a safe and secure place. I am trying to curtail my anger. If I respond in anger to her BPD behavior... .well it's putting gas on a fire. Plus my heart rate and blood pressure skyrockets. So I have to become numb to her rages yet sensative to her feelings

[GuySmiley]

63.

Just a general way of life nowadays. Can't think of a time when I haven't felt sad or low.

Wait, yes I can, I was 23.

[Azrimic]

I scored 81.  That's really not great.

[sullengirl79]

I scored a 67. I've been stuck in a rut with life for the last few years and can't seem to find my way out. I was permanently disabled because of my job, which I was let go from, after 3 surgeries. Then went thru a couple bad relationships, substance abuse issues, then finally the loss of my 12-year-old daughter to a PMIC 50 miles from our home. She has been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, social anxiety, and a personality disorder, which I believe to be BPD. I find it hard to find anything to look forward to anymore, especially with my physical limitations. This led me to an attempted overdose, which I was told I was lucky to come out of. Yet I feel I was unlucky it didn't succeed. I'm a basket case!

[RomanticFool]

I'm 29 which is better than it was. I am able to function and some of the more extreme thoughts are receding.

[Sluggo]

I scored a 5.  18 months ago and longer ago I would have been in severe depression.   I get depressed when thinking about the alienation of my kids. 

18 months ago I moved out.  At that time it was a like walking in a mind field.  Never knew when something would blow.  I was depressed for a long time leading up to my moving out. 

Now feeling depressed is the exception and not the rule.  This board has been part of my healing. 

[Emotions]

Thanks I scored a 44 presently... .hopefully it will decrease in the coming days