IMHO, I think the lesson to be learned for all of is to see the rality, and recognize it, rather than believe in the dream, and give everything of ourselves to try to make it happen.
Looking back, it is very clear to me that the outcome was predetermined, and I did nothing but give of myself to delay it. Kinda like being out at sea, and being in a boat with a big hole in it. I bailed and bailed and bailed and bailed, until I had no energy left to bail. I bailed because first of all, I thought I could do something about it. Secondly, I valued the boat more than me to the point of wearing myself out completely bailing, instead of realizing that the boat was going to sink, and using my energy to swim to shore. After bailing, I had no energy left to swim, and everything I worked for was still sinking, and I took the brunt of that blame. The boat was going to sink. Period. It isnt my fault that it was sinking, but it is now my fault that I will drown, because I decided to waste my enegy bailing, instead of swimming. Thats my lesson, what about yours?
This is one of the most helpful analogies to why I stayed and how it ultimately turned out that I've ever read.
The very first time I talked to some spiritual mentors and my T (who is also a religious leader) RIGHT after she left, they told me that she is drowning tied to a boat with a giant hole, and that I better swim to safety or I'll drown, too.
Time to swim to shore.
