I think I’m going to text and say I’d like to check in and ask to set a time to do that. But I won’t do anything until this anxiety subsides some!
Hi there,
I totally get where you're coming from--just thinking about interacting with your pwBPD raises your anxiety level by an order of magnitude. That suggests to me that maybe you need a little more time for no contact. You could give yourself an excuse--you want to enjoy the summer, maybe the first one you've enjoyed in a long time. If your sibling complains, there's your excuse: you had a ton of fun this summer, and it flew by, you didn't realize how long it had been since you last spoke.
However, if you're determined to resume contact, my question is, do you need to rush into a one-on-one, live conversation? Maybe you could start with something less intense--like a low-stakes text (Saw this and thought of you . . . hope you are well). Maybe send a snapshot of a summer activity. The hope is that she'll give it a thumbs up, and maybe share a similar picture herself. I do that sort of thing with my siblings all the time--texting a snapshot of the beach, a weekend event, a critter in my yard--and they'll typically reply in a similar fashion. How your sibling responds (in kind / with approval vs. a torrent of unrelated accusations and complaints vs. no response at all / blocking) will tell you if your sibling is ready for any sort of civil contact and reconciliation. Think of it as dipping your toe into the water; if it's too cold, you can turn around and wait until it warms up a little, and then dip your toe in again. How does that sound?



my daughter was diagnosed 5 years ago....the quick version is, we went through a rough year (I sound nonchalant about it, but it has been so long); I researched BPD, went to NAMI, read the books she suggested (I DO agree "Walking On Eggshells" in helpful; I stayed her apartment, whenever, she asked, hid her pills & knives, like she asked...her moods would (as predicted) change like the wind....long story short, nearly 4 years ago, she told me I was enabling her (facetious comment: doing the things she asked me to do) and stated she would "reach out when she is ready", over these 4 years, she would text whenever she needed something, or respond to (I learned to use very brief texts, i.e. Merry Christmas) or respond to gifts I mailed to her; as of this writing, she is not responding to any texts....I always feel like the "other shoe is going to drop", because 3 years ago, she stated "I did not try hard enough to contact her"; there have been so many hurtful things that have been said and accusations, that I would need to use this entire page! She cut off ties with her father, sister & 4 beautiful nieces....at this time, I am just laying low, with the mindset, when or if she is ready she will reach out, though, I never, in a million years, imagined it would be THIS long....I miss my daughter very much, however, not the cruelty....I guess my only advice is: stay strong, never doubt yourself (b/c this is a nasty disease), I would research and patience is the key; and the others in this group are ROCK stars with amazing advice....please reach out, if you like!