Is swatting the phone out of my hand a sign that he could hit me? I’m not sure.
Though I seem to be the only one who will say this.. I say a definite 'Yes'. It's physical contact and it requires force - however much or little he used - to knock your phone away and I would not accept that at all. We all expect verbal abuse from a BPD but when physical, striking actions occur, this isn't acceptable - and you say yourself that it was 'very scary'.
You also say that you've 'learned a lesson', like you did something bad. You don't need to learn lessons; he does and needs to know there will be consequences if he raises hands to you in any way.
Just my thoughts. It's only a small step up from striking something you're holding to striking you, especially if he knows you'll put up with it. I ended my own BPD relationship because on her final outburst she was very close to getting physical for the first time and I could see it developing.
Take care of yourself.


