Films that depict BPD?

[rotgut]

I am a film buff and recently ran across a French film from the 80's on Netflix titled Betty Blue.  I remember seeing this film as a teenager and fantasizing about growing up to meet a beautiful, exotic, sexual-hell cat like beautiful, troubled Betty in the film. Someone whose frayed nerves I could calm, and who in turn would intensely love me forever. I remember watching BP Betty Blue wreck her bf's pad and thinking "he should not upset her and things would continue to be amazing".  I actually grew up later to find and fall in love with a very similar women, only to realize the hard way that there is no not upsetting a person with BP. Can't be done IMO.  Over ten years I altered my behavior in every way I could imagine and her behavior changed exactly bup kis. Only steadily got worse over time like dear Betty Blue's.

Are there any other films that depict a pwBPD?

[BrainHurts]

I just watched Melancholia, the new one with Kirsten Dunst.

It doesnt' say what she is diagnosed with but seeing the interaction with her parents and her sister it made me have some "A-HA" moments thinking she had to be a pwBPD.

I would love to hear anyone else's take on what she had.

[sunnywind]

invasion of the body snatchers  - theres so many similarities to BPD its uncanny ,makes me wonder if BPD is something brought down from above,infecting the population, growing in numbers too i am sure

[Ugh]

Girl, Interrupted is the only one that comes to mind.

[rotgut]

Sunny. Sure seemed like Invasion of the Body Snatchers at times.

Just rewatched Betty Blue on Netflix. This movie rings true for me with her violent rages. She would trash the house, attack her bf, and run out of the house half dressed in a state of mad panic. Only to calm down later and be her gentle, sweet waif self. Until the next time... .

[rotgut]

During my estranged wBPD's sudden and violent rages. I would often fantasize about having a tranquilizer dart gun like they have in the zoo to immediately put her down with. Her Doctor prescribed Xanax for times like these, but they would end up across the floor as I would attempt to give her one.  It was as if every so often, but regularly, she would act like a small child who was just told her mother had died.

[sunnywind]

During my estranged wBPD's sudden and violent rages. I would often fantasize about having a tranquilizer dart gun like they have in the zoo to immediately put her down with. Her Doctor prescribed Xanax for times like these, but they would end up across the floor as I would attempt to give her one.  It was as if every so often, but regularly, she would act like a small child who was just told her mother had died.

I shared your tranquilizer gun dream,after all  it makes perfect sense- same as shooting down a raging lion on the loose. i couldnt do it here in England as guns are forbidden,but if youre in the states maybe you could.

After all thats what they do in films in lunatic asylums, wrestle the crazey to the ground and sedate them- however the dart gun 0r even blow dart gun?is a better idea ,it  would be a treasured item, kept on a display stand perhaps,already loaded?

[push pull]

Sharon Stone's character in Basic Instinct reminded me of my ex so much, so did Xenia Onatopp - the sex crazed femme fatale from Goldeneye.

[Gavilan]

If you want to see what a pwBPD looks like when they're old, check out Tony Sopranos mother in the Sopranos.

[Upnorth]

Betty Blue is a good one.

Many times in classic "film noir" as well. Gun Crazy (1950) is spot on, even with a strongly co-dependent man.

The spanish girlfriend in Woddy Allens "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" shows many BPD traits.

[Alvino]

The movie "Coraline" comes to mind, depicting the transformation of a BPD mother in the "alternate" reality.

Also, while not perhaps BPD specific, "Bitter Moon" shows stages of a deteriorating, emotionally extreme relationship and increasingly harmful power struggles.

[Sofie]

I am a film buff and recently ran across a French film from the 80's on Netflix titled Betty Blue. 

Jesus. I was IN LOVE with Betty Blue, when I was a teenager. I never thought of making the link between BPD and that film, but you're so right. I guess my taste for BPD women developed tragically early.

[Clearmind]

Just finished watching Wuthering Heights - some scary, close to home symbolism in that film.

[Awesome Jim]

I can remember watching Margot at the Wedding starring Nicole kidman and thinking "wow she really exhibits BPD caharacteristics".  She does so in a very realistic and sbutle way - as in not protrayed as a lower functioning BPD like Courtney Love but more like in a higher function BPD like my exgf.  I remember thinking also that I was just being paranoid and probably a bit obsessed the the disorder since I had just sort of figured out what was going on with my ex (I knew she had a personality disorder - she's too extreme in her beliefs and behaviour and her life is complete wreck not to).  So I shrugged it off.  About 2/3s of the way through the film the main character's sister and her are having a big fight and her sisiter blurts out that her and her other sister think she has Borderline Personality Disorder.  I almost fell off the couch.

I now rarely doubt my ability to detect in people.  Once I knew more about it I remember suggesting to my friend that his wife make very well have it (she was paranoid about his fidelity and crazy emotional for years from what he told me but I didn't know what BPD was early on when he would tell me this stuff).  So once I started dating my ex and started to understand the behaviours I asked him to look into it because his relationship was getting crazier and crazier.  I was like this for years with him moving and and moving back in with her, her cheating on him, poisoning his daughter's opinion of him (he is a totally stand up guy if ever there was one), raging, blackmailing, etc.

So about 4 or 5 months ago he comes up to me in the gym and says "So Jim it turns out my wife was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder".  I just looked at him and said "dude, I have been trying to tell you this for about 2 years now".  And he pauses and says "that's right - you have. Oh my god!".  He just didn't want to believe it or understand or admit it or something - it just didn't sink in at first until a "professional" diagnosed her.

Girl interupted is also one - however the main character doesn't really exhibit the characteristics as much as the secondary character does (although she is said to be sociopathic in the film) which is Angelina Jolie who ironcially is said to be BPD.  Mommy Dearest is an obvious one as is Fatal Attraction.

[Munch]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  The character played by Kate Winslet. 

Munchxo

[beetsme]

I think "Fatal Attraction" is the ultimate BPD movie.  Also a Jessica Lange movie called "Blue Sky"

On another note I am looking forward to watching "We Need to Talk about Kevin", from what I hear the child in the movie resembles an extreme version of my exwifes son.

[pallavirajsinghani]

"The Virgin Suicides"  Kathleen Turner, the mother.  The father a classic enabler.

"Sunset Boulevard."  Joan Crawford's character.

'The War of the Roses"  Two BPD's married to each other.

[canucky]

Angelina Jolie in the movie GIA. It to me was the most representative of what a true borderline is like. Plus it is a true story probably done by a borderline which some of said Angelina might have.

[MaybeSo]

In the movie Revolutionary Road, in my opinion, it depicts a couple where the man has strong NPD traits and the woman has BPD traits, though really, I saw her as feeling trapped in a culture (the 50s) where there were less options for women, and I saw that as playing a big role in how desperate the woman felt.   A couple years ago a thread was established here about the movie... .and it spurred quite a lot of spirited debate, with the men on the board seeing the woman as totally 'nutz' and the women on the board seeing the guy as controlling, manipulative and verbally/emotinally abusive.  Regardless of your take on it,  It's a very powerful movie, and very well done.  Another similar dysfunctional couple movie is Whose Afraid of Virgina Wolfe?

[rotgut]

Thanks for all the great replies. Hopefully even more will be forthcoming. Below is a compiled list of the submitted titles.

~ Betty Blue

~ Melancholia

~ Revolutionary Road

~ Invasion of the Body Snatchers

~ Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?  Hi!

~ Gia

~ The Virgin Suicides

~ Sunset Blvd.

~ War of the Roses

~ Fatal Attraction

~ Blue Sky

~ We Need to Talk About Kevin

~ Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind

~ Margot at the Wedding

~ Girl Interrupted

~ Coraline

~ Wuthering Heights

~ Gun Crazy

~ Vicky Cristina Barcelona

~ Goldeneye

[Clearmind]

@Rotgut - I watched many of those in the last 4 months and had an ephiany whilst watching wuthering heights and gas light. Given that much of the abuse we received was covert and behind closed doors watching the movies was like watching my r/s play out on the big screen - actually helped me to move on.

[Sofie]

Thanks for all the great replies. Hopefully even more will be forthcoming. Below is a compiled list of the submitted titles.

~ Betty Blue

~ Melancholia

~ Revolutionary Road

~ Invasion of the Body Snatchers

~ Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?  Hi!

~ Gia

~ The Virgin Suicides

~ Sunset Blvd.

~ War of the Roses

~ Fatal Attraction

~ Blue Sky

~ We Need to Talk About Kevin

~ Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind

~ Margot at the Wedding

~ Girl Interrupted

~ Coraline

~ Wuthering Heights

~ Gun Crazy

~ Vicky Cristina Barcelona

~ Goldeneye

One more: "Notes On A Scandal." The elderly teacher played by Judi Dench in the film is - in my opinion - a very interesting portrayal of an aging BPD. I remember feeling so struck by this movie thinking, "This is what my ex will be like growing old." Brilliant film. Highly recommended.

[rotgut]

The month of Oct. is turning out to be BPD Movie Month in my flat  .  Clearmind, I agree completely with your comment about these particular films being cathartic when trying to get over a toxic BPD relationship.  A reminder of the true, grim reality of living with a pwBPD.

Last night's film was Melancholia. I think this film portrays a high-to-low functioning sufferer of BPD (at least ?) beautifully over the course of 136 minutes. The imagery of Justine's (Kirsten Dunst) inner turmoil, at the beginning of the film shows in very vivid, stark imagery what a pwBPD may feel like on the inside. Justine was I think most likely a high functioning pwbp until learning, along with the rest of the world, that the planet Earth will be destroyed by a stray planet within days, thus sending her into the low functioning realm quickly and with severe consequences to her life.

Justine's sister, who is prone to panic attacks, is Justine's constant friend and caretaker; coddling her with constant hot baths, horse riding, and excuse making on Justine's behalf.

The part of the film that reminded me of my uwpbd the most, is toward the end of the film and shortly before the earth is going to be instantly destroyed by the stray planet. Justine and her sister are having tea when Justine's demeanor suddenly becomes very lucid and cold, and proceeds to verbally brutalize her sister, who is driven into temporary hysterics.

Like so many with BPD, Justine instantly goes from terrorizing her only support system, to being once again quite warm and charming to her young nephew, tenderly consoling him and telling him everything will "be alright". (exactly what her sister so desperately needed to hear from her only moments earlier). That was my uwbp.

I was passing a lot of blood once, (turned out to be nothing tg) and when I immediately told my uwBPD, she dismissed my concern and proceeded to go into a rage of my supposed "cheating" on her (never happened). Point being when they feel like raging, damn whatever else is going on, even if it is the end of the world, because they need to rage. The film Melancholia demonstrates that particularly monstrous BPD trait very well.

[Clearmind]

Rotgut - I love your reviews - keep them coming - I am going to get that out tonight 

[harlemgurl]

Sharon Stone in the movie "Casino". Classic narcissistic BPD female. Full of game and all about me entitlement. She lies, cheats, and is handed everything to her on a silver platter.

HG

[ThisCantBeReal]

500 days of summer comes to mind.

[rotgut]

Harlemgurl, funny you should submit Casino. Recently rewatched it on Netflix. Spot on about Sharon Stone's behavior IMO, not helped any by her raging cocaine addiction.

She calls Sam, her beat down husband, everything but a Son of God and he still takes her back... .and takes her back... .and back... .ad nauseam, ad infintium. I did ten years of that sad to say. Seems so pathetic when seen on screen and a great reminder of what not to go back to. 

[pspap]

Lonely Hearts (2006) starring Salma Hayek & John Travolta.

Portrays 2 pwBPD who fall in love with each other. Powerful depiction.

[rotgut]

Revolutionary Road (2008)

I could never have watched this film seated closely next to my estranged wBPD. It would have hit way to close to home for both of us, and probably been bad for me in many ways. Fortunately, last night after watching this film and following it up with a dose of Margot at the Wedding (2007) I fell asleep without a single delusion or fantasy of my estranged wBPD. 

Throughout the film the husband (Leonardo DiCaprio) seems to be trying his NPD'ed best to keep up with and respond to his wife April's (Kate Winslet) erratic bp behavior

Is Frank NPD or just mirroring his wife's bp behavior?

Midway in the film, during one of  Frank and April's many horrific fights, she tells him she "truly hates him" and asks, "by what measure could you ever consider yourself to be a real man?" I like Frank, would ask my wife since she "hated me", why the hell was she still with me? I'd remind her that we had no children, and if she didn't want to be with me, she certainly didn't have to be. Her reply would be a hurtful remark like, ours was a "marriage of convenience" and follow it up with a hateful slight toward my manhood or about myself as a person. 

I could truly relate to Frank's being up all night, thinking that his marriage is over, and all the repercussions that would entail, only to wake up the next morning to a wife suddenly acting like the marriage is perfect and everything is not just OK, but wonderful. Pretending like she thinks he is wonderful, and the funny thing is, i too would GO ALONG WITH IT, just as the husband does in the film, pretend everything is totally fine only to quietly ask her later, (being ever so careful to mind the eggshells), "you don't really hate me, do you?"  ?

I agree with the comment above, that socioeconomic, gender inequality, and traditional 1950's marital roles, all played a part in bumming out April, but her bp is the dominant negative factor in the destruction of their marriage IMO.

From personal experience, I think even if the couple in the film would have moved themselves and their two children to Paris, the outcome would have been the same. My ebpw and I actually moved to the Black Sea for a year while waiting for her visa, and our relationship had the exact same type of dysfunctional bp dynamic that had plagued us the four years prior in our r/s.

For me, Revolutionary Road is an ideal film for the non who is missing that special bp in their life and having trouble remembering the actual harsh reality that life entailed.

[MaybeSo]

This film RR is a rorschart ink blot, we see what resonates within us. In a prior post, the men all concurred or had similar responses to yours. The women saw what I saw in terms of the female perspective. In total, I saw both the man and wife contributing equally to the marital dysfunction with husband taking on NPD role and wife a more BPD style role. If the film did not choose to take such  drastic measures in the end for wife's role I wonder how it would change the perceptions? The opening scene has husband pestering his wife over a Community theater production she had starred in. The production did not go well, it had been a humiliating experience for her, rather than going out and partying she asked to just go home, it was clear she wanted to be alone and lick her wounds. Husband could not let it go. Could not just let her feel badly ... .She was being quiet but he incessantly needles her in the car driving home until she finally yells at him to stop the car and she jumps out to get away from him. He comes after her and continues at her, at one point raging at her and slamming his fist onto the car as she cringes not knowing if he is going to hit her. This is the opening of the movie. Why can't he just let het be in a bad mood ? Why can't he just let her be quiet? Why can't he validate any of her feelings? It's like her bad mood reflects poorly on him or ruins his ability to have his own experience separate from hers. In the movie the husband speaks constantly of how they are no ordinary couple but special. He missed his opportunity for greatness by getting married and having kids, but underneath it he is special. Wife provides the idea of moving to Paris, she will work, he can focus on finly manifesting his specialness ala Hemingway by not having to work and concentrating on his writing. He loves the idea and loves het for thinking of it. As reality approaches, he has an affair with a girl in his office and accepts a promotion in a career he states is beneath him, and in the end balks at the move to Paris. Wife saw this as het escape from living forever in the suburbs, raiding kids, and being the husbands scapegoat for why he never was able to manifest his special greatness. I thought the role of the mentally ill friend was riveting, he saw right through both of them as a very dysfunctional couple. It is a fascinating movie.