What were Your first warning signs

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I think a good rule of thumb for next time is not to ignore what my gut tells me even if you do not have a sufficient explanation for what is nagging me at the moment.  Its okay to put what I've noticed on the back burner until I  have further information but don't ignore it or let it slide. 

Syz, awesome! This is what is meant by inquiring.

Inquiring means to ask questions, look at the response, feeling into your own bodily responses to the answers, letting yourself ask questions even if they feel risky. Think ‘curiosity’…

Many of us did not inquire - instead we were dazzled with promises, happy every after, attempts to save and rescue and lots of sex - none of which are a good pre-cursor to inquiry.

If it feels off then it probably is. Ask yourself how many  are one too many - know your limits. Know what you want in a r/s.

[Clearmind]

I think a good rule of thumb for next time is not to ignore what my gut tells me even if you do not have a sufficient explanation for what is nagging me at the moment.  Its okay to put what I've noticed on the back burner until I  have further information but don't ignore it or let it slide. 

Syz, awesome! This is what is meant by inquiring.

Inquiring means to ask questions, look at the response, feeling into your own bodily responses to the answers, letting yourself ask questions even if they feel risky. Think ‘curiosity’…

Many of us did not inquire - instead we were dazzled with promises, happy every after, attempts to save and rescue and lots of sex - none of which are a good pre-cursor to inquiry.

If it feels off then it probably is. Ask yourself how many  are one too many - know your limits. Know what you want in a r/s.

[elessar]

there were too many   that i ignored for over a year. i thought they are her traumatic stress from childhood sexual abuse and having emotionally abusive parents. the first time i finally researched her symptoms and came across BPD was when i started searching about "alternate reality". it felt like me and her lived in two different universes... .  she twisted or forgot what i said or did... .  and did the same with her own words and behavior.

but looking back the first warning sign i should have caught was sleeping together on the 2nd time we saw each other after a 4.5 year break up (i dont think that first break up had to do with BPD... .  but her coming back has BPD written all over it). that 5 weeks of honeymoon period seemed too good to be true... .  should have been a warning sign... .  the rage came 5 weeks of being together. i had known this girl for 10 years prior to that and had never seen rage like that. in hindsight... .  i know now that BPD mostly comes in early 20s (the time she went away) therefore when she was back i saw her BPD... .  never in high school or undergrad.

[jj2121]

Telling me about her violent ex after a few days and I thought I was saving her.

1 day her family were great and the next the did not do anything for he, it was all about her sister apparently.Also hated some of her neighbours and complaining about other family members and people who were meant to be friends,although I think she only has 1 close friend.

Think this was a warning too, a few times when I asked her to do something or we done something together, she kept saying "it must be getting serious"