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Experts share their discoveries [video]
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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
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Author Topic: For me  (Read 4354 times)
arabella
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« Reply #150 on: April 20, 2013, 09:04:52 AM »

That's interesting maria1... .   A lot of my girl friends and I do the social eating (let's do lunch, grab dessert, go for dinner, etc) but it carries over into our daily lives too, I think. I equate eating with being happy and/or social. Food = comfort and contentment. Food is the 'drug' of choice! It's a bit of a cycle. I've been trying really hard in recent years to move toward a new dynamic but it isn't easy. I mean I can't just 'quit' food altogether! And peach cobbler is so nice... .   and I'm so stressed... .   You see where this is going. And now I'm off to a baby shower to eat cake.
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laelle
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« Reply #151 on: April 20, 2013, 12:01:28 PM »

I think I made some progress today.  Either that or I should be commited.    I was thinking how much I missed him, and I said to "him" (who was not really there)

I miss you more than anything in the world, but dont you dare ever contact me.  You could bring me nothing but pain.

Its very strange to say you long for someone but want them to stay away at the same time.  (and maybe even talking to him when he isnt there.  )

He cant change, and he cant consider my needs, so unless a miracle happens, any contact he made would just be hurting us both.  Im not much into fantasy and miracles these days.

Just food for thought.
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laelle
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« Reply #152 on: April 20, 2013, 12:14:36 PM »

I really wanted to thank this website again.  You know, I didnt even know what a boundary was until I came here. I didnt know I needed any.

I didnt understand why I shouldnt be in a relationship.  I didnt understand why I had relationship troubles.  I now understand why, and that its perfectly ok to go it alone for a while.

A relationship that cant go anywhere is a waste of time and heart.  I can empathize better with others.  There are just so many things that I felt, but couldnt give a name to. Learning to know my own feelings is like walking out of the darkness and into the light.  Validating myself, soothing myself, loving myself, refusing to accept toxic shame, and allowing myself to fulfill my own needs is life changing.  I dont need anybody else.  I want people in my life but not because they fill a need, but because I want and enjoy them there.

Seeing him and how he was, makes me understand myself better.

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laelle
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« Reply #153 on: April 21, 2013, 07:58:37 AM »

I believe I am done posting here.  I'm going to be ok. 
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arabella
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« Reply #154 on: April 21, 2013, 11:57:27 AM »

You are definitely going to be okay, laelle! Thank you for sharing your journey, it has been so enlightening!

I believe I am done posting here.

Does this mean you're leaving us?
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