SELF ASSESSMENT | Schema Inventory

[Gladto be away]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- -- High High High

Avg -------- 3.00 2.30 1.20 1.33 1.83 3.00 4.00 1.33 3.00 2.20 1.44 3.80 4.80 4.60

4+ ------- 1 2 0 0 1 2 5 0 1 2 1 5 8 9

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm -- Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[DesertChild]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- High Mod -- Mod High -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3.90 3.00 1.00 2.11 3.67 3.10 3.14 3.22 3.75 2.20 1.33 2.20 3.80 3.70

4+ ------- 7 3 0 0 3 4 2 4 3 0 0 1 6 5

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

I knew I'd score high for the first. Some of the questions for Angry child were unfair though.
For example: It makes me angry when someone tells me how I should feel or behave.
Always. 'Cause it's been happening since I was 5 and people still feel like they need to do it to my face today. People tell me to my face that I can't *love* someone that I *need* to choose someone else. I get *why*, but I think I have a right to be upset at them. I don't mind the behaving part so much, it's the "feeling" part and preaching at me for a good 5-10 minutes about my feelings that makes me upset. I get sick of it, especially since I get this lecture so frequently. I say a firm no, you can't and they feel like it's their god given right to preach anyway.
Though that's an outside issue of BPD, pwBPD in my life kinda exacerbated it.
Test also doesn't ask how you handle it... .Mostly I use brainy methods in the form of Socrates, etc. I make them realize their mistake.
Plus the test doesn't seem to differentiate between people who *are* actual people who get attacked frequently versus those who don't, but imagine themselves to be.
For example, someone who is say, gay and once a day someone calls them a slur... .ummm... .I think they'd be more justified than someone who was living it well and complemented. Anger isn't always a bad thing. But the test doesn't differentiate between productive anger, such as civil rights, and anger that doesn't make a change. Nor situational value.

[ZigofZag]

Surprised that it picked up on vulnerable child, I thought that was buried nice and deep!

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- -- -- -- -- High

Avg -------- 2.10 1.40 1.00 1.44 2.50 4.70 2.86 1.00 2.25 2.20 1.33 1.30 2.70 5.00

4+ ------- 1 0 0 0 0 10 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Hiloguy]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- Mod -- Mod Mod Mod Mod -- Mod Mod --

Avg -------- 3.90 3.10 2.50 2.89 3.33 2.70 3.29 3.11 3.50 3.00 2.44 3.10 3.40 3.10

4+ ------- 7 3 1 1 3 2 3 4 3 3 0 3 6 2

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[VeryFree]

I'm trying to interpret my score:
Above average on the vulnerable and angry child-scheme. I understand that one. Looking back I was a lonely kid: had loving parents, which trusted me enormously. Because of that I got used to take on responsibilities and to solve my own problems. Looking back too much I think, because I never really got pointed the right direction, never really was validated (no complaining meant things were good), never was stimulated (wasn't necessary).
From that the above norm compliant surrender, detached protector and self-soother seem logical. Never ask another one for help, try to help yourself, don't bother another, meanwhile trying to have a high standard (demanding parent).
Probably a lot of issues, but the high score on the healthy adult-scheme keeps things in control.
Am I seeing this correctly?

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- -- -- Mod -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3,50 2,80 1,40 1,33 1,83 2,20 3,86 2,11 3,25 1,80 1,89 1,70 3,50 3,90

4+ ------- 7 3 0 0 0 0 5 2 1 1 1 0 6 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

Okay, 5 months later I score as follows:

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- Mod -- -- -- -- Mod -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 2,80 2,30 1,10 1,44 2,33 2,80 3,43 2,33 2,50 2,40 1,78 1,40 2,80 4,80

4+ ------- 1 3 0 1 0 0 3 1 0 1 1 0 3 8

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- -- --

Still 4 of 5 items above norm, but it seems like my scores are shifting towards the norm. Probably a good thing. I think I found some more rest the past few months, been thinking a lot about me and my life and trying to do things the right way. I that way I recognize my new scores.

[GaGrl]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- Mod -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 1.50 1.80 1.60 1.44 2.00 4.50 2.29 1.44 3.00 2.70 2.00 1.60 3.20 4.30

4+ ------- 0 0 0 0 0 8 0 0 0 3 1 0 4 8

Compare to GP ------------------- -- -- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- Above norm -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

Self-aggrandizer 

Yes, me too!  Interesting ouch there, something for me to think about.  This actually came up for me as a stress reaction on a Birkman Profile about 6 years ago.

[pessim-optimist]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- Mod -- -- High High

Avg -------- 2.50 2.20 1.10 1.11 2.00 4.20 2.57 2.00 2.50 2.70 1.89 1.60 4.30 5.10

4+ ------- 0 1 0 0 0 7 0 0 0 4 1 0 10 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.
Ok, a bit of the vulnerable child, teensy bit of anger and aggression, and self-aggrandizer (probably to mask insecurities)   ALL a good fit for    from childhood experiences & parental examples. Something to work on... .
Isn't it interesting that sometimes we pick up even the things we don't like about our parents?
Demanding parent - definitely (it turns into critical self-talk too. Another thing to work on)

[Turkish]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High High -- -- -- -- -- High High

Avg -------- 2.30 2.00 1.10 1.11 3.17 3.80 3.71 1.78 1.75 1.70 1.67 1.50 4.10 4.40

4+ ------- 1 0 0 0 1 5 4 0 0 2 1 0 8 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm -- -- -- Above norm -- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- Above norm --

[livednlearned]

I think the Demanding Parent data is interesting. Critical self talk... .
Maybe a pronounced codependent trait?

[janey62]

It seems I'm a lot healthier than I thought I was.  I'm less healthy now because of this relationship, but still retain the growth and strengths I had gained over the years leading up to it.
This makes me think, as I read somewhere else too, that even if you're relatively healthy being in a BPD relationship can take you back to unhealthier days.  I think it's because you compromise your boundaries to accommodate someone you are attracted to, love, pity, care for, empathise with, etc.
Janey

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- -- -- -- -- High

Avg -------- 2.70 2.30 1.20 1.44 2.00 4.40 2.14 1.44 2.25 2.10 1.78 1.30 2.60 5.30

4+ ------- 0 1 0 0 0 9 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Above norm

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[dontknow2]

Surprised most by healthy adult. The return on investment from 4 years of therapy really shows here.
Not surprised by the vulnerability at all. At least I know where my residual anger stems from; working on better taking care of myself yet still struggle. Need to read-up on Detached Protector... . hhhmmm, intrigued.

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod -- -- -- -- Mod -- -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3.10 2.80 1.50 2.56 2.67 3.30 3.00 2.44 2.50 2.70 2.11 1.80 2.90 4.30

4+ ------- 3 1 0 0 0 3 0 2 0 1 0 0 3 9

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[ts919]

Very interesting indeed

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- -- Mod High -- Mod High -- Mod High High

Avg -------- 3.00 2.60 1.10 2.11 1.83 3.10 4.29 1.78 3.50 3.10 1.33 3.00 3.90 4.10

4+ ------- 4 3 0 1 0 3 4 0 2 4 0 4 6 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm -- Above norm Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Popcorn71]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- High Mod -- -- Mod -- -- -- High Mod -- High High

Avg -------- 2.60 5.00 3.10 3.22 2.50 3.60 3.14 2.33 2.75 3.90 3.44 1.70 5.20 4.70

4+ ------- 1 9 4 2 1 5 2 0 1 5 4 0 9 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm Above norm -- Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Allmessedup]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High -- -- -- Mod -- High Mod High -- -- High High --

Avg -------- 4.60 2.40 1.30 2.00 3.67 2.20 4.71 3.11 4.25 2.30 1.33 4.00 4.30 2.90

4+ ------- 10 2 0 0 5 1 7 3 3 2 0 8 8 2

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Pingo]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Mod

Avg -------- 2.90 2.80 1.10 1.78 2.67 2.80 3.00 1.78 2.25 2.50 1.44 1.90 2.80 3.40

4+ ------- 1 1 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 2 1 0 1 4

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Above norm -- --

[BuildingFromScratch]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High Mod -- -- High -- High High High Mod -- High High --

Avg -------- 5.30 3.30 2.30 2.56 3.00 1.20 4.14 5.11 4.75 2.60 2.00 3.50 3.80 2.10

4+ ------- 9 6 1 2 2 0 5 7 3 4 1 3 7 1

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

[billypilgrim]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- -- Mod High -- Mod -- -- Mod High High

Avg -------- 2.80 2.60 1.20 1.22 2.33 3.20 4.71 1.33 3.75 2.00 1.33 3.10 4.90 3.90

4+ ------- 3 3 0 0 1 3 5 0 3 1 0 5 9 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm -- Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Moselle]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- Mod -- -- Mod High -- -- -- -- -- -- High Mod

Avg -------- 2.50 2.70 1.00 2.11 3.00 3.60 3.00 2.78 3.00 2.70 2.44 2.00 3.50 4.00

4+ ------- 0 3 0 0 3 5 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm -- Above norm Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[HappyNihilist]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High -- -- -- High High High -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3.70 2.60 1.20 1.89 3.83 4.20 3.71 2.33 3.00 1.80 1.56 2.20 3.10 5.10

4+ ------- 4 1 0 0 3 7 4 0 1 0 1 1 4 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"""Above norm"" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population."
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Fluff]

The F, I'm highest in all the BPD modes.

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High High -- -- Mod High Mod High Mod Mod -- Mod High High

Avg -------- 3,80 2,90 1,00 1,56 2,67 3,10 3,29 3,22 3,00 2,90 1,89 2,70 3,70 4,00

4+ ------- 7 4 0 1 2 5 4 4 2 5 1 4 6 7

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm Above norm --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

My analysis is I have weak BPD and vulnerable narc traits. That's actually what I would expect. On PD tests Avoidant Personality Disorder is really high. But that might be a result of these two.

[HappyNihilist]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High -- -- -- High High High -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3.70 2.60 1.20 1.89 3.83 4.20 3.71 2.33 3.00 1.80 1.56 2.20 3.10 5.10

4+ ------- 4 1 0 0 3 7 4 0 1 0 1 1 4 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"""Above norm"" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population."
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

I'm pleased and thankful for my high tendencies towards the Happy Child and Happy Adult modes. I really do feel like I'm mostly OK overall, and I generally quite enjoy life.
I feel like learning more about all of the modes, and my own tendencies, has been very helpful in my ongoing quest for my own truth.
Undisciplined (Impulsive) Child - acts on non-core desires or impulses in a selfish or uncontrolled manner to get his or her own way and often has difficulty delaying short-term gratification; often feels intensely angry, enraged, infuriated, frustrated, impatient when these non-core desires or impulses cannot be met; may appear 'spoiled'
My parents didn't really "spoil" me, and I certainly wasn't undisciplined. This tendency of mine is in a lot of ways a "rebellion" against continued suppression of my own needs... .which is covered in another mode. I do have a problem delaying short-term gratification and setting long-term goals. I've done a lot of work in this area, actually, and looking back, I'm quite proud of how far I've come in the past 10 years or so. It will always be a natural part of me, but I can live and thrive with it.
Now, how did this tendency play in my r/s with my exBPDbf? He was an only child (like me) with a high tendency towards Undisciplined Child himself. He once said that we would pout each other to death. But there can't be two Undisciplined Children for long, and I eventually avoided reverting to this mode, because it might infringe on his desires and impulses.
With this mode inaccessible, I went full-force into my most natural "unhealthy" innate child mode... .
Vulnerable Child -  feels lonely, isolated, sad, misunderstood, unsupported, defective, deprived, overwhelmed, incompetent, doubts self, needy, helpless, hopeless, frightened, anxious, worried, victimized, worthless, unloved, unlovable, lost, directionless, fragile, weak, defeated, oppressed, powerless, left out, excluded, pessimistic
Yes, yes, yes, and so on.
This is my deepest soul wound that I must heal. I know it. And I know it's not easy. But I'm trying.
As far as my r/s... .well, a Vulnerable Child who feels unlovable, defective, directionless, lonely, etc., desperately wants to soothe those feelings. So I clung on tightly to my exBPDbf because he soothed them for me... .and he did so by presenting a mode (his primary coping mechanism) that was intimately familiar to me because it was what my caregiver (mother) practically lives by: the Demanding Parent.
Demanding Parent - feels that the "right" way to be is to be perfect or achieve at a very high level, to keep everything in order, to strive for high status, to be humble, to put others' needs before one's own, or to be efficient or avoid wasting time; or the person feels that it is wrong to express feelings or to act spontaneously.  This mode refer to the nature of the internalized high standards and strict rules, rather than the style with which these rules are enforced; these rules are not compensatory in their function
My moderate tendency towards this maladaptive parent mode shows my internalization of this. My exbf provided it externally and as naturally as breathing.
So, what happens when a Vulnerable Child meets a Demanding Parent (with a good dose of Punitive Parent to boot)? In my relationship with my exbf, just as in my r/s with my mother, I eventually became the epitome of the Compliant Surrender maladaptive coping method.
Compliant Surrender - acts in a passive, subservient, submissive, approval-seeking, or self-deprecating way around others out of fear of conflict or rejection; tolerates abuse and/or bad treatment; does not express healthy needs or desires to others; selects people or engages in other behavior that directly maintains the self-defeating schema-driven pattern
After the breakup, my ex wistfully talked about how docile and compliant I was... .and it's true... .the depths to which I can go in this mode are deep and dark indeed. Usually it's not nearly so extreme, but with someone who pushes just the right combination of buttons on the access panel to my soul... .*peers over the edge into the bottomless pit*

[OffRoad]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- -- -- -- -- High

Avg -------- 1.00 1.10 1.00 1.00 1.00 4.80 1.14 1.00 1.50 2.20 1.00 1.00 2.00 6.00

4+ ------- 0 0 0 0 0 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 10

Compare to GP ------------------- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Above norm

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.
I'm surprised. I wonder if I would have had the same results three months ago?

[Lifewriter16]

Message from Skip on how to paste into a thread:
Try going to the third page of the workbook and copying the long narrow column that looks nothing like the final table (its coded). 

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- High Mod -- -- -- -- Mod -- High Mod -- -- Mod Mod

Avg -------- 3.90 2.70 2.00 2.00 3.17 3.00 3.57 2.56 3.25 2.30 2.00 2.20 2.60 3.40

4+ ------- 7 3 0 0 1 2 5 2 2 3 0 0 3 4

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

Hey, thanks Skip - it works! Anyone knows what this means?
Lifewriter

[Mutt]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- High -- -- -- -- -- -- -- High

Avg -------- 1.90 1.70 1.50 1.22 2.50 4.70 2.29 1.56 1.00 1.70 1.11 1.30 2.60 4.50

4+ ------- 1 1 1 0 1 10 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 8

Compare to GP ------------------- -- -- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[thisagain]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- Mod -- -- -- Mod -- -- -- -- -- -- -- High

Avg -------- 2.60 2.30 1.00 1.11 1.83 3.80 2.43 2.33 1.75 2.30 1.78 1.40 3.00 5.40

4+ ------- 2 3 0 0 0 7 0 2 0 1 1 0 2 10

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- -- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- Above norm

I had the same thought as DesertChild (reply #31) about the Angry Child... .is there something wrong with not liking other people telling you how you should feel or behave? Especially telling you that you shouldn't feel some valid feeling. If I was hurt by something horrible my BPD ex did, and she told me I shouldn't be hurt by it (because it was justified in her delusional black-and-white world), yes that makes me angry. That's gaslighting and emotional abuse and it makes me angry.

[Skip]

"Child" refers to childhood emotions carried into adulthood. From Jeffrey Young, PhD
We have identified five main modes that characterize the borderline patient:  
1.  the Abandoned Child
2.  the Angry Child
3.  the Punitive Parent
4.  the Detached Protector
5.  the Healthy Adult
We will summarize the modes briefly to provide an overview, and then we will describe each one more fully.  
The Abandoned Child mode is the suffering inner child.  It is the part of the patient that feels most of the schemas – that feels the pain of the abandonment, abuse, deprivation, defectiveness, subjugation.  
The Angry Child mode is predominant when the patient is enraged because her basic emotional needs are not being met.  
The Punitive Parent mode is the internalized voice of the parent, criticizing and punishing the patient.  When the Punitive Parent mode is activated, the patient becomes a cruel persecutor, usually of herself.  
In the Detached Protector mode, the patient shuts off all emotions, disconnects from others, and functions like a machine.  
The Healthy Adult mode is weak to nonexistent in the borderline patient, especially at the beginning of treatment.

[Sunfl0wer]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- Mod -- -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 2.40 1.30 1.00 1.33 2.33 3.40 1.43 2.67 2.75 1.40 1.89 2.40 2.80 4.80

4+ ------- 0 0 0 0 1 5 0 1 1 0 2 2 3 9

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm -- -- -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm -- -- Above norm -- --

Seems pretty accurate to me.  I do have some tendencies towards being a demanding parent and punishing parent to myself.  I was surprised to see I had a "mod" for Happy child."  That is good to know as I figured maybe my demanding parent may squash that at times.
Thank you for this.

[babyducks]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- Mod High Mod -- -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 1.40 1.30 1.00 1.56 3.00 3.20 3.14 2.22 1.50 1.50 1.11 1.30 3.30 4.80

4+ ------- 0 1 0 1 2 3 3 2 0 0 0 0 5 8

Compare to GP ------------------- -- -- -- -- Above norm -- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[Chilibean13]

My results are interesting considering I scored so high on healthy adult. This just further shows me that in my life most things are going well except in my relationship. It is only with my uBPDh that I work out of the other schemas.

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- Mod Mod -- -- Mod High Mod -- -- Mod -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 3.00 2.70 1.20 1.44 2.67 4.20 3.57 2.22 2.25 3.30 1.89 1.20 3.10 5.30

4+ ------- 5 4 0 0 2 7 3 1 0 4 1 0 4 9

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm -- Above norm -- -- -- Above norm

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.

[C.Stein]

Mode ---------------------------------- Vulnerable child Angry Child Enraged Child Impulsive Child Undisciplined Child Happy Child Compliant Surrender Detached Protector Detached Self-Soother Self-aggrandizer Bully and Attack mode Punishing Parent Demanding Parent Healthy Adult

Tendency -------------- -- -- -- -- -- Mod Mod Mod -- -- -- -- Mod High

Avg -------- 2.00 2.30 1.30 1.22 2.33 3.20 3.71 2.89 2.25 1.40 1.22 1.90 3.30 4.70

4+ ------- 0 2 0 0 0 3 5 4 0 0 0 1 3 9

Compare to GP ------------------- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- -- Above norm Above norm -- -- -- Above norm -- --

Tendency refers to the schema frameworks by which I may function.
Average is the mean of the numerical answers that I provided for each schema mode (rated from 1-6).
4+ is the number of the answers of 4 or higher that I provided for each schema mode.
"Above norm" is greater than 1 standard deviation from the mean (average) - stronger tendencies than the general population.
in other words, statistically higher than the general population.