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Author Topic: Witch, queen, waif, hermit  (Read 3103 times)
jammo1989
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« on: October 19, 2014, 06:05:10 AM »



Read this article, and tell me which one yoir BPD was:

www.m.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201109/the-world-the-borderline-mother-and-her-children
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Heartbroken Eagle
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« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2014, 06:55:48 AM »

Mine was most definately a Witch!

Not a suprise really  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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fred6
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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2014, 06:56:59 AM »

I can't really tell, I see all of those traits in my ex to some extent.
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Blimblam
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« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2014, 07:21:30 AM »

My ex is definately a waif. My mother is a waif too now she has gone hermit.
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Infared
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« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2014, 08:00:21 AM »

Mine definitely was The Waif... .Always the victim... .with me "trying" to help... .that is... until she hooked up with the new supply. I am sure she is the waif to him... .LOL... I have watched her play victim to him when we have accidentally had a public run-in. (She lied to me, cheated on me with him and perhaps others, and than ran off to him, but she is the "victim"? God knows what she tells him about me?). I can see it from across the street! They sight me... .her head goes down, and the shoulders, hair in the face... .poor me... "Oh seeing him hurts me... please rescue me".  It is kind of revolting watching him be manipulated the way that I was. (Hmmmm... .am I talking about the hallway in 7th grade while changing classes or current adult reality?  )

Now she is more like The Godzilla to me.  
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Fluff
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« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2014, 08:17:35 AM »

Mine was switching between waif and queen I think. She was a victim and a martyr that should kill herself for the benefit of everyone else, then suddenly she was a motherly saint trying to make me into a victim. Around around.
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Blimblam
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« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2014, 08:26:28 AM »

Mine was switching between waif and queen I think. She was a victim and a martyr that should kill herself for the benefit of everyone else, then suddenly she was a motherly saint trying to make me into a victim. Around around.

Waifs can be selfless givers matrying themselves. They give in earnest but they give too much of themselves. They see an opportunity to give and be appreciated but they cross boundaries doing what they feel is expected of them to be appreciated. Then they end up feeling ashamed betraying a person they love. They try to love themself through others and seek people who they hope can see this is what they do.
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Bak86
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« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2014, 08:27:01 AM »

Waif and hermit. Allthough she doesnt seem to be a hermit at the moment. Goes out partying like theres no tomorrow
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Blimblam
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« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2014, 08:32:45 AM »

The waif the fallen angel of death and rebirth. The damsel in distress. The ___ of Babylon who holds the grail. The wounded healer who seeks the wounded healer.
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Junknown
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« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2014, 09:17:35 AM »

I think mine was a waif but also showed traits of a queen. My mother, which i think is a high functioning borderline was a hermit, always telling me how the world was cruel and dangerous but also was a queen because she wanted everyone to act like she wanted them to and not go against what she wanted or tought.

Important thing now is that i see the impact my BPD hermit/queen mother and NPD father had on me and how this induced me to go into a relationship like this and sustain it. And also how this explains many of my normal reactions.

Its a crappy thing to repair tough. Im still in the phase where i dont know how and my psychologist is exploring it and making me analyse everything and i feel clueless. After all, this was all about who i was and what i was exposed to for 25 years.

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Fluff
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« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2014, 09:24:45 AM »

I think mine was a waif but also showed traits of a queen. My mother, which i think is a high functioning borderline was a hermit, always telling me how the world was cruel and dangerous but also was a queen because she wanted everyone to act like she wanted them to and not go against what she wanted or tought.

Important thing now is that i see the impact my BPD hermit/queen mother and NPD father had on me and how this induced me to go into a relationship like this and sustain it. And also how this explains many of my normal reactions.

Its a crappy thing to repair tough. Im still in the phase where i dont know how and my psychologist is exploring it and making me analyse everything and i feel clueless. After all, this was all about who i was and what i was exposed to for 25 years.

I can so relate. And, I'm so excited about my therapy, where will it take me, what's my therapists plan. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Blimblam
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« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2014, 06:50:41 PM »

I think it my an important to realize what subtype our exs are to see what we are attracted to. For example the queen is npd/BPD comorbid. I know a girl like that she repulses me she is extremely different than my waify ex. The queen is fake and her entire existance is a farce nothing authentic.
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fred6
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« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2014, 07:06:48 PM »

I think it my an important to realize what subtype our exs are to see what we are attracted to. For example the queen is npd/BPD comorbid. I know a girl like that she repulses me she is extremely different than my waify ex. The queen is fake and her entire existance is a farce nothing authentic.

My ex was fake as $hit. But honestly I see waif/hermit/queen/witch in my ex. I don't know if that's possible or that I'm just mis judging her. She was so up and down. No one seems to want to deal with her problems though. They all just give her a free pass like they're scared of her or something... .
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Chasing_Ghosts
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« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2014, 03:41:53 AM »

Mines a WAIFFFFFFFFF. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Big time. With such grandiosity and entitlement that it rivals an NPD. Just ask me because im diagnosed one! haha  

But in all seriousness ive never met someone so selfish but selfless in my whole life. I feel like theres a balance in all of this that she has yet to discover. I really do wish her the best and hope one day she heals and realizes that she is worthy of real love. Something i tried to show her with no avail! Oh well, cant say i didnt try. In the end our love is never enough. Sad but true. 

I think it my an important to realize what subtype our exs are to see what we are attracted to. For example the queen is npd/BPD comorbid. I know a girl like that she repulses me she is extremely different than my waify ex. The queen is fake and her entire existance is a farce nothing authentic.

My ex was fake as $hit. But honestly I see waif/hermit/queen/witch in my ex. I don't know if that's possible or that I'm just mis judging her. She was so up and down. No one seems to want to deal with her problems though. They all just give her a free pass like they're scared of her or something... .

Yes it is entirely possible that she could be a hybrid of all of them switching between each dependent on what best suites her needs/the environment much like a chameleon.
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Blimblam
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« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2014, 03:47:14 AM »

Mines a WAIFFFFFFFFF. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Big time. With such grandiosity and entitlement that it rivals an NPD. Just ask me because im diagnosed one! haha  

But in all seriousness ive never met someone so selfish but selfless in my whole life. I feel like theres a balance in all of this that she has yet to discover. I really do wish her the best and hope one day she heals and realizes that she is worthy of real love. Something i tried to show her with no avail! Oh well, cant say i didnt try. In the end our love is never enough. Sad but true. 

I think it my an important to realize what subtype our exs are to see what we are attracted to. For example the queen is npd/BPD comorbid. I know a girl like that she repulses me she is extremely different than my waify ex. The queen is fake and her entire existance is a farce nothing authentic.

My ex was fake as $hit. But honestly I see waif/hermit/queen/witch in my ex. I don't know if that's possible or that I'm just mis judging her. She was so up and down. No one seems to want to deal with her problems though. They all just give her a free pass like they're scared of her or something... .

Yes it is entirely possible that she could be a hybrid of all of them switching between each dependent on what best suites her needs/the environment much like a chameleon.

She sounds like a queen who complains a lot. In my experience the waif tends to be the shy and timid and über feminine. But idk.
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peiper
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« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2014, 04:00:36 AM »

Waif/Queen for sure.
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Chasing_Ghosts
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« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2014, 04:01:12 AM »

Mines a WAIFFFFFFFFF. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Big time. With such grandiosity and entitlement that it rivals an NPD. Just ask me because im diagnosed one! haha  

But in all seriousness ive never met someone so selfish but selfless in my whole life. I feel like theres a balance in all of this that she has yet to discover. I really do wish her the best and hope one day she heals and realizes that she is worthy of real love. Something i tried to show her with no avail! Oh well, cant say i didnt try. In the end our love is never enough. Sad but true. 

I think it my an important to realize what subtype our exs are to see what we are attracted to. For example the queen is npd/BPD comorbid. I know a girl like that she repulses me she is extremely different than my waify ex. The queen is fake and her entire existance is a farce nothing authentic.

My ex was fake as $hit. But honestly I see waif/hermit/queen/witch in my ex. I don't know if that's possible or that I'm just mis judging her. She was so up and down. No one seems to want to deal with her problems though. They all just give her a free pass like they're scared of her or something... .

Yes it is entirely possible that she could be a hybrid of all of them switching between each dependent on what best suites her needs/the environment much like a chameleon.

She sounds like a queen who complains a lot. In my experience the waif tends to be the shy and timid and über feminine. But idk.

She definitely had the uber feminine trust me shed spend hours "painting on her face" as me and my family would jokingly call it... then there was her being all into fashion and hello kitty girly stuff. Then the sex it was so porn star perfect... ugh, the only thing that i miss anymore. Such good supply. See there goes my N. haha But yes she was a queen alot in that she always wanted control the "kingdom" aka as "our relationship" and always was sure to let me know she had "options" if i "messed up" to anything less than her standards of being treated like a princess. Sorry us Ns just dont really go for that ___. So naturally wed argue as i have knack for always needing to be right and she does as well. Both very hard headed. But since ive been more aware of my actions ive noticed that since i dont care about being right as often shed get so confused. That look of "error". Needless to say since im recovering she absolutely triggers me so badly in that she reminds me of everything im trying to fix and this in turn repulses me. Her last "rescue" attempt last friday i saw as just completely pathetic if im being quite honest. "Sorry i dont rescue princesses anymore im retired." Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  
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