I know this is a hard question, but is it not clear that you are in a relationship (vs dating/courting) and, if so, an exclusive relationship. Both ways.
It's important to get a compass and mark where this is as the rules are different in the various relationship set-ups. It's easy to get out of sync and struggle.
At 35,000 ft - she left this relationship, was involved with another, and left that relationship (impulsively) by bouncing back to you.
This is a rebound period. Not a honeymoon period.
She most likely hasn't processed and doesn't have a stable view of where she is or wants to be in the longer term and with who... .and even if she thinks she does, it's best to know that this is a volatile period (no matter how it appears) that can have a lot of outcomes (you, the recent ex, new guy, some combo).
And frankly, you are struggling with the same based on:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279718I think the read on the "don't pressure me" and the needing space is that perhaps she is not ready to jump back into the relationship you have in mind.
If you force it, it may not play well. Just being "too available" is probably not helping.
It also feels like the relationship balance is really weighted in her favor. You may need to apply some courting skills to balance this thing out.
It may make the most sense to tag this as a transitional / rebound time and back it off quite a bit with
a real positive attitude - go into courting mode and give her space (error on the side of more than she wants) to come to you and let her do the reaching. Anything else may feel needy and clingy to her and she'll drift away.
I know this isn't what feels natural. However, there are three mistakes we often see on rebounds:
~ expectations to high, too fast (and quick to become defensive)
~ wanting/wanting the ex to heal the relationship wounds
~ approaching the relationship the same way that failed before (not changing the game).