Saw her at work. Not kiling me.

[Euler2718]

ExBPDgf dumped me 4 Dec 2015. I managed to avoid seeing her except at a distance until this week -- she was in charge of getting signatures for some training and we all had to sign the forms (at work, we work in the same organization but buildings are far apart). She seemed pretty uncomfortable inside and maybe sad? but kept the mask on, which is good since she's in the military and has to so that her career can keep going smooth.

I don't feel much worse. I still think about her all the time (obviously). Where it left off was, she said not to contact her for a year, so I told her to contact me 4 Dec 2016. Until then, I have stayed away. Easier now than in December.

Anyway, I don't know what comments people will make. I want to say one thing sometimes makes me feel better: About once a week she would break up with me or want to. I always talked her out of it. But she would call me up so nonchalantly and be like: "I think we should break up" and it was no big deal to her. Her empathy vaporized at times like this.

Anyway, sometimes I think -- she can't do that anymore! She can't take anything more away, and I can't get a call like that. So I feel a bit more *safe* -- I always wanted to feel safe in her arms, now I'm not there but at least I'm safe.

To all -- have a great day. Life's not perfect.

[Mutt]

Hi tim27818,

"I think we should break up" and it was no big deal to her. Her empathy vaporized at times like this.

A pwBPD fear rejection, fear abandonment imagined or real, it's self destructive behavior. It sounds like she was testing your level of tolerance and pushing the limits.

[JQ]

Hi tim27818,

"I think we should break up" and it was no big deal to her. Her empathy vaporized at times like this.

A pwBPD fear rejection, fear abandonment imagined or real, it's self destructive behavior. It sounds like she was testing your level of tolerance and pushing the limits.

Tim, Mutt, Group,

It's true that a person with BPD will constantly "test our level of tolerance & pushing our limits" ... .but it WILL NEVER be enough for them ... .EVER.  They fear rejection, abandonment, they always will regardless of how hard we work to show them we won't until their mental illness at last will drive us away ... .it's a sad situation to be in for a BPD to have such a devastating mental illness.

J