Not sure what to do

[kc sunshine]

After a year break up, my ex and I got together again last week. We spent 4 days together and there was some that was really good but lots that was rocky. In some ways it felt like the idealization-devaluation-discard in only 4 days! She hasn't formally discarded me, but I haven't heard from her since Sunday (after being in constant text communication beforehand). I want to be skillful here, in navigating this abrupt shift. My instinct is just to wait for her to get back in touch and give her space to do and think whatever she needs to do.

On the other hand, I am hurting.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tryingsome]

Hello KC,

It is good to hear that there is an attempted re-connection.
I guess the question boils to what caused these last 4 days to be rocky?
Was there specific topics brought up? What were the last conversations that lead to the silent-treatment?

[Mutt]

Hi kc sunshine,

I'm sorry to hear that you're hurt, do you have an update?

[kc sunshine]

Hi kc sunshine,

I'm sorry to hear that you're hurt, do you have an update?

Hi Mutt,

Sadly it didn't work out-- I think she got back together with her last girlfriend. It was a tough set-up-- the girlfriend had just broken up with her because of some difficult push behavior on the part of my BPD ex (my BPD ex had slept with another one of her exes and had also told her that she still loved me). She then started to pull me back in hard (visions of a future together, etc) but then when we were together I think it wasn't that great (we had about 4 days together and I was nervous and a bit clingy-- dang!) and she went back to her ex on the 5th day. Or something like that happened. It's hard to tell.

Anyway, it seems like they are back together (a recycle?) I'm not sure if I was/am:
triangulated?
her true love but both of us not ready?
used until her girlfriend wanted her back?
who she would want if I made better choices

I feel all of those things at different times... .